Wedding Planners From Hell!
by Ulquiorra9000
Summary: College grad Grimmjow returns to Karakura Town to visit his longtime girlfriend Halibel Tier and all their friends... but popping the question to Halibel, and setting up a budget wedding, is gonna be some hard work! Can the happy couple and their wacky friends pull off the wedding of the year? Has some fluff. Grimmjow/Halibel, Ichigo/Rukia, Uryu/Bambietta. College AU setting.
1. Chapter 1

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **A/N:** Hi, everyone. This is the sequel to my high school AU story, _**Karakura Days and Nights**_ , but it will probably be readable on its own, too. This takes place six years after the original story. Please enjoy, and review if you like it!

 **Chapter 1: Meet the Roommate (and her scary pets, too!)**

Grimmjow pouted in the backseat of the cab. "Okay, I'm like 90% sure we've passed that Starbucks _three times_ now! Admit it, you're lost, dude."

The driver made an embarrassed smile. "No, young sir, I'm just working my way around difficult traffic."

"What, at 10:00 PM in Karakura Town?" Grimmjow checked his cell phone to confirm the time. "The aparment is right around here somewhere. We should be close, I think."

"Just a moment, young sir." The driver rushed through a yellow light and into a residential area, skimming past an oncoming city bus.

 _This place sure hasn't changed,_ Grimmjow thought wearily. He'd spent the last two years getting his Master's degree in veterinary medicine out of town, but that was nothing compared to a 30-minute cab drive in a town that only takes 20 to cross!

"Here we are, young sir," the driver announced, pulling up to the Cedar View apartment complex. "Building 4."

"Okay, um..." Grimmjow got out his wallet and counted out the bills in there. He was a bit over... heck, why not give a decent tip anyway. He was just glad to arrive in one piece! He handed over the bills, got his way-too-heavy suitcase from the trunk, and waved good-bye as the cab motored off. Crickets chirped and a light breeze picked up.

 _Mother of god, I packed too much..._ Grimmjow strained like an Olympic weight-lifter as he struggled his way up the stairs and to the second floor. Still, he couldn't help a wide, excited grin on his face, his heart racing eagerly in his chest. _It's been so long...!_

He took a deep breath, smoothed his Metallica logo tee, and knocked three times.

Loud, muffled voices inside erupted at once, and Grimmjow tried to make some manly pose to celebrate his return, but he was still trying to decide between Superman and the _David_ statue when the door burst open and a young woman tackle-hugged him to the floor. "It's you! Grimmjow! Welcome!"

"What the...?" Grimmjow felt his brains being squeezed out in the girl's python grip, flat on his back. "Who...? Oh. Nelliel!"

The girl sat upright on Grimmjow, beaming. She wore jeans shorts and a a green babydoll t-shirt. "Yeah, it's me! Nelliel Tu Odelschwank! We've talked on the phone, remember?"

"Sure, I remember." Grimmjow felt himself going lightheaded.

"But it's so nice to meet you in person!" Nelliel took Grimmjow's head in her hands and held it up. "You're actually really cute up close..."

"Uh..."

"Nel, you promised you wouldn't do that," another girl's exasperated voice said from the doorway.

Grimmjow struggled to his feet when Halibel Tier pried Nelliel off of him, and at once, Halibel wrapped him in an even tighter hug. "Grimmjow! I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow morning, you big silly!" Like usual, she wore a white sundress with black trim and a thin silver necklace.

"I-I wanted to surprise you!" Grimmjow choked out in his girlfriend's grip.

It was _defnitely_ time to invest in an adamantium skeleton...!

"No kidding." Halibel let him go just enough to hold his shoulders and plant a long, hot kiss on his lips, closing her eyes. "I missed you," she added.

"Missed you too, babe." Grimmjow shoved his hands into his pockets. "Was I, uh... interrupting something?"

"Just Nelliel trying to convince me to eat raw cookie dough," Halibel said with a smile.

"Yeah. I already ate half of it," Nelliel added, hands on her hips. "I'm gonna get sick at this rate."

Halibel swatted her shoulder. "You're the one who wanted to eat it!"

Grimmjow's stomach rumbled. "That reminds me, I didn't have much of a dinner..."

Nelliel gasped. "You didn't?! But food is the best thing in the world! Come on! Oh, and I'll get your case."

Somehow, she easily picked up Grimmjow's heavy suitcase and held it over one shoulder as she dragged Grimmjow with her other hand into the warmly-lit apartment room, Halibel tagging along behind them.

"I saw this place in the background on Skype," Grimmjow commented, "but it's a lot nicer in person." He sniffed. "Whoa, smells good, too."

"Yeah. Halibel practically owns a stock in Febreze," Nelliel joked. "Wash those mitts of yours, Grimmjow, and sit! We've got some yummies for you."

Grimmjow decided that this place was much nicer than the little apartment was renting out of town. With the paintings and photos of flowers and willow trees on the eggshell-white walls, pillows on the couch, the bronze Buddha statue in the corner, and the generous Febreze, he could easily mistake this place for a killer hotel room.

Aside from the countless empty TV dinner trays and leftover dishes. Probably from Nel!

Grimmjow washed up and had a seat at the kitchen table. "I didn't mean to barge in here and impose..."

"Nonsense! Here, try this." Nelliel dug up half the fridge's contents and shoved a slice of strawberry shortcake right into Grimmjow's pie hole. "Good, isn't it? Right? _Right_?"

Grimmjow's pro chef review consisted of "mmmmmmph!" as Nel kept shoving more into his mouth. He took a big swallow, and right away, Nel somehow fit half a roast chicken in there, too.

 _Mmmmmm. Nice spices and lemon juice rub,_ Grimmjow thought. Too bad he couldn't voice that opinion through all the chicken!

"Nel, slow down -" Halibel started, until Nel introduced the rest of the raw cookie dough to Grimmjow's throat.

 _I'm dying..._ Grimmjow hung onto the table for dear life, chest heaving.

"You know you want to feed him too," Nel teased her roommate.

"Well... yeah." Halibel smiled and dug up a few mini riceballs, and sat next to her boyfriend. "Here. A recipe I invented last week. Ichigo described it as 'Orihime without the insanity.' I _think_ that's a compliment..."

She blushed as she gently fed it into Grimmjow's mouth.

"Mmmmmmm!" Grimmjow hastened to swallow. "Babe, that _is_ good! What's in it?"

"That's a trade secret for now," Halibel said with a wink. "Here, try and guess the ingredients instead." She went a shade pinker as she fed him another, and another.

Grimmjow heard the click sound effect of a smart phone's camera. "Hey!" he yelped.

"What's the big deal?" Nel said defensively, holding her phone in place. "This is adorable! Why not capture the moment?"

"She means well," Halibel muttered covertly in Grimmjow's ear as she fed him again. "But yeah, she's always like this. That's why we pay rent 60-40. Guess which half I make her pay?"

Grimmjow grinned wickedly. "Damn, just when I thought I couldn't love you any more..."

It wasn't long before Grimmjow's stomach threw in the towel, though, so he retreated into the guest bedroom and lay on the bed, willing himself to not explode. Heck, even this room smelled great!

At once, the door blasted inward and Nel came stomping in. Grimmjow groaned.

"I need some peace!" he cried.

Nelliel giggled, hands clasped behind her back. "Feeling full?"

"What do you think?"

Nelliel sat on the corner of the bed. "This wasn't just a friendly visit to say hello, was it?"

"Uh... what?" Grimmjow tried not to blush. Too late!

Nelliel giggled. "I can read people, you know. To guess their favorite food, whether or not they're keeping a secret..."

"Can _you_ keep a secret?"

Nelliel blinked innocently. "Duh!"

"Hey, I need a real promise from you. I'll show you my secret if you don't tell anyone, _and_ if you promise not to torture me anymore."

Nelliel clapped her hands together. "Deal!"

"Okay. One sec." Grimmjow carefully got off the bed, knelt by his suitcase, and dug out a small box. He stood and pried open the lid for Nelliel to see.

A small but brilliant diamond glinted on a gold ring in there.

"Oooooooooh!" Nelliel jumped up and down with joy. "Seriously?! For real? Are you serious?"

Grimmjow made a face. "Those were all redundant..."

"Lemme see!" Nel swiped the box from Grimmjow's hands and held the ring close to her face. "When did you get this?"

"Week before I left."

"When are you gonna..." Nel went red and lowered the box a little. "Y'know... when were you going to ask...?"

"I was gonna do that tonight," Grimmjow confessed, "but the scene isn't turning out right. I'll be in town all summer. It's only June 2nd, so I have some time to figure this out."

Nel poked a finger into Grimmjow's stomach. "You'd better hurry, buddy! I can't keep a secret very well."

Grimmjow flinched. "But you said you could...!"

Nel smiled. "Just kidding. Mostly. But, y'know, poor Halibel _really_ missed you since you moved out two years back. That whole time, I've been here, trying to fill that void, give her everything she needs..."

"This is starting to sound weird."

Nel cleared her throat. "Point is, Grimmy -"

"Don't call me that!"

"Point is, Grimmjow, that she's been waiting for something like this. Sooner is better!" Nel once again had her hands on her hips to emphasize her point.

Grimmjow made a nervous chuckle and scratched the back of his head. "I'll work up the courage and find the right setting. Promise."

"Great!" Nel shut the ring box and handed it back. "Now let's hang out some more, lover boy! You should meet our pets!"

"Your _what_?"

Nelliel took Grimmjow by the hand and dragged him to her well-lit bedroom. She smiled and pointed at a large glass cage that had mulch, dirt, rocks, and leaves in it. "This is my milk snake, Bawabawa. Isn't he pretty?"

Grimmjow peeked at the red, white, and black-stiped snake inside. It stared back with beady eyes. "Pretty cool."

"And look!" Nelliel opened a second cage and held something in her hand. "This is my tarantula, Luppi!"

"Yikes!" Grimmjow stumbled back in shock, staring at the hairy arachnid in Nelliel's hand.

"Scared?"

"I..." Grimmjow cleared his throat. "I'm just leery of spiders, that's all."

"Awwwwww." Nelliel petted Luppi with a finger. "He doesn't like you, Luppi. Isn't that sad?"

Grimmjow relented. "It's a cool spider. Pretty tame."

"Yeah, she's a sweetie if I'm gentle with her." Nelliel set Luppi back in her cage, then opened the window, letting in a breeze.

Grimmjow cocked his head. "What's that for?"

Nelliel poked her head out, looked around, and shrugged. "There's this bat who sometimes comes in to visit," she said. "My unofficial third pet. I think he likes me!" She drew her head back and shut the window just as Halibel came in.

"Showing him your scary pets, Nel?" she asked with a teasing grin.

"He doesn't like Luppi!" Nel cried.

"I'm not really a spider person," Grimmjow admitted. "Halibel, remember that time a spider got into my room and -?"

"Hey, Grimmjow has something for you," Nelliel hollered. "It's shiny and gold and -"

"Yeah. This!" Grimmjow hastily held his girlfriend close and kissed her. "Just like that. No big deal."

Halibel toyed with one of her blonde pigtails. "Are you okay, Grimmjow? You seem kind of tense."

"Check out Grimmjow's suitcase!" Nelliel added. "He's got something you'll like."

"Oh?" Quick as a cat, Halibel hurried into the guest bedroom and opened up Grimmjow's suitcase.

Grimmjow intercepted her. "M-my Slayer t-shirt! See?" He held it up, blocking Halibel's view of the ring box inside the suitcase. "I want you to have it. You like the 'boyfriend' look, right?"

Halibel beamed as she accepted the shirt. "I do. And thank you!"

Grimmjow shut the case. "A-anyway, I should be going. It's late. Isn't it time for bed?" He tried to act cool and totally did the opposite.

"Is something wrong, honey?" Halibel touched Grimmjow's cheeks. "Something I should know?"

"Uh... I just meant to check on how Pantera's doing."

"Oh, your calico cat?" Nel stepped into the room. "We've all been passing her around every few months, taking care of her. Right now, Uryu and Bambietta have her at their place."

Grimmjow nodded. "Okay. Sure. Look, it's been great, girls, but I oughta find a place to stay..."

"Not here?" Halibel patted the comforter of the guest bed. "You're in a guest bedroom! Stay with us."

"I-I..." Grimmjow blushed. "I don't want to impose. Ichigo and Rukia wouldn't mind, though. They've already offered several times for when I come back."

"Well, all right. But only as long as we can be together every day," Halibel said, holding up a finger for emphasis. "I've missed you! I need my Grimmjow time."

Grimmjow kissed his girlfriend's cheek. "There's lots of me to go around, babe. I'll take you out for a nice date tomorrow evening. How's that sound?"

"I'd love that."

Behind Halibel, Nel mimed opening the ring box and proposing, mouthing the words for _Do it now!_ Grimmjow shook his head in response.

"Okay, uh... I'd better get another cab. Got to unpack at Ichigo's place," Grimmjow said. "Halibel, it was amazing to see you again. We're gonna have a fantastic date."

Halibel backed away to clear a path to the door. "I'll wear something nice."

"M-me too," Grimmjow babbled, picking up his 100-ton suitcase and squeezing past a giggling Nel. "I'll get a cab and pick you up at 7:00, okay?"

"Okay. Have a good night! I love you!" Halibel called after him.

"Love you too, babe."

Grimmjow stepped outside, shut the door, and sighed with relief. That was too close!

His trials had only just begun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 2: The Zesty, Spicy, Super Date Night! (too bad there's strings attached)**

"Now I can _finally_ get some peace and quiet..." Grimmjow muttered to himself as he nearly tore his arms off heaving his suitcase up the sidewalk to Ichigo and Rukia's rental house. The cab motored off into the night (another good tip for the driver). Grimmjow wearily reached out and pressed the doorbell.

Once again, loud voices erupted at Grimmjow's arrival. "Dammit, Byakuya! Didn't you give me enough crap already?!" a familiar voice roared from somewhere in the living room. A second later, the front door was wrenched open, and Ichigo stood there, chest heaving, looking ready for a fight. Then his eyes widened.

"Grimmjow! Bro!" Ichigo threw his arms around his friend in a hug. "Sorry, I was expecting different company."

"I know, this wasn't the appointed time. I ended up coming back early," Grimmjow explained. "Good to see you again, man! Doing good?"

Ichigo parted from Grimmjow and stepped back to let him in. "Doing all right. Whenever Byakuya _isn't_ being all passive-aggressive at me, I mean. He was here earlier, and I thought you were him, coming back to harass me some more."

"Whoa." Grimmjow lugged his monster suitcase inside and shut the door. "Sounds like the Kurosaki-Kuchiki feud is alive and well." He grinned. "At least you guys make for a good show for bystanders like me."

"Now, do I hear two doofuses mocking my big brother, or do my ears deceive me?" a girl's voice demanded. From the bathroom emerged Rukia in her night things, a hairbrush in hand, her violet eyes flashing.

Grimmjow squeaked and held his hands palm-out defensively. "No way, I was just... well..."

Rukia broke into a big smile. "I'm glad to see you, Grimmjow. Did you have a nice trip back to town?"

"I... yeah." Grimmjow sighed and willed his heart to slow down. "Train was comfy enough. I managed to _not_ spill a Coke on my seat this time. Personal record." He made an embarassed grin. "Sorry to barge in so late. Were you about to turn in?"

Rukia's smile didn't fade. "Yeah. Long day at the office. Ichigo was sweet enough to surprise me with a hot dinner when I got back. And only a third of it was burnt this time."

"I'm a regular Gordon Ramsay," Ichigo joked.

"There's a bit left if you want it, Grimmjow," Rukia offered.

Grimmjow winced. "Thanks, but Halibel and Nelliel stuffed me like a pig back at their place." He dragged his suitcase across the floor toward the guest bedroom. "I'll just unpack a bit and do the rest tomorrow morning, okay?"

"No. Let me!" Rukia insisted.

Grimmjow paused. "Do what?"

Rukia tossed aside her hairbrush and Ichigo caught it. She stomped over and flexed her arms. "I've been hitting the gym, cat boy. I can handle my house guest's luggage. Watch!"

"Cool." Grimmjow stepped back to let Rukia work her magic. He felt an aura of power rise around her!

"Here... we... go!" Rukia seized the suitcase's handles and heaved with all her might.

Something made a nasty _pop_ somewhere in her.

"No... hang on!" Rukia went red as she scuffed her bare feet on the carpet, but the suitcase just sat there like a fat walrus, silently taunting her. Rukia went to the other side and pressed her back against it. No good.

"Hey, let me..." Ichigo went over to help out.

"I'm a Kuchiki!" Rukia grunted, even redder in the face. "I can take on... any challenge... ever!"

Grimmjow heard heroic music swelling in his mind as Rukia made her final push... and the suitcase scooted a half-inch.

Rukia collapsed in a exhausted heap, and she actually waved a white handkerchief in defeat. "Okay, you fellas can go ahead and take care of it. I'll just go recover in my room..." She crawled like an inchworm to her and Ichigo's shared bedroom and shut the door behind her.

"Whoa." Grimmjow scratched his sky-blue hair. "She's even more competitive than I remember!"

"I know. But that's what I like about her," Ichigo said with a grin. "Remember how she landed that killer internship at the insurance company in town? She's goin' places, man. I'm really proud."

Grimmjow nodded. "That's great. Takes up a lot of her time, huh?"

Ichigo took hold of the suitcase and motioned for Grimmjow to help. "Yeah, it kind of does. Sometimes I go a couple of days without seeing her." He and Grimmjow scooted the suitcase into the waiting guest bedroom. "And you might have guessed, but Byakuya is starting to think she's too good for me, since I'm 'only' the assistant manager at Mr. Urahara's shop. But come on! The shop's gotten bigger, and business is good! It's my working man's pride."

"I gotcha, man." Grimmjow turned on the lights and helped Ichigo position his suitcase by the closet. He wiped his brow. "Thanks again for letting me stay for the summer."

Ichigo lightly punched Grimmjow's shoulder. "Dude. How could I not?"

"Anyway..." Grimmjow cleared his throat. "I'll take care of things in here. We've gotta hang out tomorrow! And I'll soon have good news for you and Rukia."

"Huh? Like what?"

Grimmjow's thoughts went to the engagement ring in his suitcase. "You'll find out in a few days. Let's say that things are gonna get crazy, in an awesome way."

Ichigo grinned. "Nice. Well... see ya." He left, and shut the door behind him.

Grimmjow sat before his suitcase, unlatched it, and pried it open. Minus that Slayer t-shirt, everything was in place. All his clothes, toiletries, his laptop and accesories, cell phone charger, a couple of books, his GameCube and two controllers, and a small cathode-ray TV (which made up half the suitcase's killer weight). Humming to himself, Grimmjow dug past some clean socks and reached down to get the engagement ring, just to admire it again.

The box was gone.

Wait a minute... what?!

"Crap!" Grimmjow tore through all the random stuff in his suitcase, even inside the GameCube's disc tray (as if the ring box would be in there). But in the end, the box was totally gone.

 _No, no, no...!_ Grimmjow busted out his phone and dialed Nelliel's cell phone. She picked up on the third ring.

"Helloooooooooo, lover boy," she said with a giggle.

Grimmjow frowned. "Nel! I can't find the engagement ring box! There's no way I lost it. And you're the only other one who knows about it."

"Who, me?" Nel answered with false innocence.

Grimmjow curled his fingers in fury like a panther's claws. "C'mon, it's gotta be you! Did you take it?"

"Yeah, I did. But don't worry, it's safe in my room, right here on my dresser. I won't lose it."

"Good. So give it back."

"Sure I will. If you do what I say."

"Do what you... seriously? That thing cost me a zillion yen! I need it to -"

"Look, you already set up a date with Halibel tomorrow. Do it according to my directions, and I'll be on hand to give your ring back. Halibel won't know I'm there."

Grimmjow sighed. "Why can't this night be over?"

"Don't sound so sad, Grimmy!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Don't sound so sad, Grimmjow! This doesn't change anything except moving up your proposal schedule to tomorrow. I'm doing this to help you."

"Doesn't feel like it."

"You _do_ wanna marry her, right?"

Grimmjow relaxed a bit. "Yeah. I really want to do it. But -"

"So, take her to that awesome Italian place downtown and follow the directions I text you, and I'll give the ring back!"

"You'll just make a circus of things."

"No way. I'm a romantic."

"But that's my job."

"Stand by for directions," Nel said. "Good night, good sir!" And she hung up.

Grimmjow admitted defeat and got busy setting up his TV and GameCube on the dresser. Should he play a few rounds of _Super Smash Bros. Melee_ before turning in? Naw, it was a long night already. He tossed aside his jeans and shirt and crawled into bed.

*o*o*o*o*

"Ooooooh, I love this place, Grimmjow! I haven't been here in months," Halibel said cheerily the next evening as her boyfriend escorted her inside, his arm linked around hers. "This is so thoughtful."

"Anything for you, babe." Grimmjow smiled, but Nel's outrageous directions for the date weighed on his mind. What a mess...

At least he cleaned up well. He wore black slacks and dress shoes, contrasting with the deep red, expensive polo he wore, and a shiny gold Timex on his right wrist. Halibel, for her part, wore a navy blue, knee-length dress that was a favorite of hers, black flats, and a thin gold necklace with a false amethyst in it. Just a nice, happy young adult couple... right? Things weren't that simple in Karakura Town!

They both had a seat and, after placing their orders, Halibel launched into colorful updates about her life in Karakura Town: her recent studies and her brand-new Bachelor's degree in biology, her plans for post-grad schooling, looking for workplaces that dealt with marine biology...

Grimmjow relaxed and smiled as he listened, but his mind kept flicking back to his phone, and the text message directions Nel had sent him. Apparently, she was going to peek inside through the windows to monitor things, and give the ring back at her discretion.

Roommates...

Grimmjow dug into his zesty pasta dish and mentioned his good times outside of town. "... and that was a hell of a beach party," he said through a mouthful of breadstick, motioning with his fork as Halibel chuckled at his amusing tale. But... Nel's directions...!

"Oh, Grimmjow. I missed these wonderful date nights of ours," Halibel said fondly, absently twirling spaghetti with her fork. "This feel so _right_. Doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It totally does." Then Grimmjow cleared his throat. "So... Halibel... how do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Here was step 1 of Nel's big date plan!

Halibel blinked her sea-green eyes. "That's funny. I thought you didn't like poetry that much..."

Grimmjow posed like some minstrel or bard or whatever, his arm held out for emphasis. He raised his voice. "O fair maiden of mine heart, your laughter is like birds singing, your smile like the gates of Heaven, your hair like spring grass..." He tried to ignore the people who pointed and chuckled at him. He went red.

"Uh... is this Robert Frost or something?" Halibel asked cautiously, aware of the scene her boyfriend was making. "I mean, I took a semester of poetry in my sophomore year, but..."

"Let us dance!" Grimmjow forced himselt to say, standing and taking Halibel's hand. "Dance like no one is watching!" _Anything for that ring back!_

Halibel sputtered. "But people _are_ watching! Grimmjow, honey, relax. This isn't like you."

"Nonsense, O fair maiden! A toast to us!" Grimmjow cupped his hands around his mouth. "Garcon! Your finest Pinot Noir, please!" he hollered.

More people giggled and pointed, and one older couple threw down their forks and stalked out of the restaurant, muttering about "troubled youths."

"Grimmjow, sit down," Halibel urged him. "What's gotten into you?"

"Wine! Wine all around, like the opulent Bacchus of the Romans!" Grimmjow cried. "Let us have delicacies like -!"

"You're outta here, buddy." A burly waiter seized Grimmjow by the scruff of his neck like he was a kitten, and heaved him out the front door. Grimmjow stumbled a bit until he got his balance.

Halibel exited the restaurant a minute later, her eyes wide with worry. "Grimmjow, what is going on?" She took his hands in hers. "I've never seen you have a meltdown like that. Explain yourself."

"I..." Grimmjow sighed. "I'm sorry. It was an act. I won't do it again."

"An act? What do you mean?"

"Uh..." Grimmjow looked over Halibel's shoulder and saw Nel peeking from behind a parked Honda. "Nel, she, uh... took an embarassing photo of me with her phone before I left your place last night," he invented. "She told me to goof off on our date, or she'd send the photo to all our friends."

Halibel scowled. "That little...!" She let go of Grimmjow's hands and pouted. "This isn't the first time that she's pranked someone. Believe me, honey, you're not alone. She once forced Ichigo make a fool of himself. Keigo, too. I'll have a talk with her. I've got your back."

Grimmjow gently held Halibel's head and kissed her with all his gratitude. "Thanks, babe. And I'm sorry I screwed up our date night."

Halibel smiled and ran her fingers along Grimmjow's jawline. "That's okay. There's a new ice cream place down the street. It's a really cute little place. Why don't I walk you there for dessert?"

"You're the best." Grimmjow put a spring in his step and let Halibel hold his hand tightly in hers as she escorted him down the lively night-life sidewalk. Along the way, Grimmjow heard his text tone in his pocket.

He used his free hand to check the message. _**From: Nelliel.**_ _Darn it, Grimmy! You were almost there! No ring for you, buddy. We'll have to arrange another date or something. Maybe tomorrow night?_

Grimmjow made a face as he typed in his response. _Give me a break! Halibel told me you like to prank people. I'm on to you! I'll figure something out._

 _ **From: Nelliel.**_ _Whoops! Well, I'm not so easy to catch, cat boy! See you around!_

Grimmjow pocketed his phone as Halibel led him into Mr. Taki's Super Ice Cream Parlor. He put Nel and the ring on the back burner of his brain as he tried to choose between mint chocolate chip and rocky road. So, Nel wasn't so easy to catch, huh? Well, Grimmjow wasn't so easy to beat!

He hoped...


	3. Chapter 3

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 3: Setting Up the Perfect Trap (why can't our social events be innocent for once?)**

"I gotta hand it to you, Ichigo," Grimmjow said at the breakfast table, tapping a fingernail on his cleaned-out plate. "You know how to whip up a real breakfast."

Ichigo nodded with a self-depreciating grin. "Because there's less opportunity to burn the hell out of everything. Rukia takes care of the dinners around here." He picked at the last few bits on his plate.

"That is, until you _finally_ learn how to properly set an oven timer," Rukia joked, elbowing her boyfriend.

"Anyway," Ichigo said, clearly trying to steer things away from his culinary shame, "you gonna go see your dad today, Grimmjow?"

"Sure I am," Grimmjow said. "I bet he's dying to see me! Is he at work today? I might drop by." Recently, Takeshi Jaegerjaques had gotten a job at the same insurance company where Byakuya now worked part-time.

Rukia pointed her chopstick at Grimmjow. "Things are busy at the office. How about this? I could invite him over here for a nice group dinner! The Kurosakis can come, too."

"Only if you want to see my dad juggle expensive china while tipsy on sake," Ichigo pointed out.

Rukia elbowed him again. "Family is family! I could have big brother Byakuya and grandfather Ginrei over, too. You know, it's been a while since we had a proper dinner party."

"Fair point." Ichigo chuckled. "We've kinda gotten into a rut. Take-out and _Star Trek_ reruns won't impress your brother, will they?"

"Sounds like a great evening to me," Grimmjow offered, and Rukia giggled.

"Very funny, Ichigo. We're having that party," Rukia told him. She stood and gathered everyone's plates. "I'll round up Orihime and Uryu to help decorate. And no, we're not using your Enterprise-D spaceship model as a centerpiece!" Rukia added to Ichigo, her violet eyes glinting.

Ichigo gave Grimmjow the thumbs-up. "Last time I decorated for a party, I forgot to coordinate with Rukia."

"And that's why I'm taking over," Rukia added over her shoulder as she put all the dishes into the dishwasher.

Grimmjow folded his arms and listened to Ichigo and Rukia argue over the merits of _Star Trek_ -themed dinner parties while mulling over his big problem: how to get that darned ring back! He glanced at Rukia, who showed fiery passion as she argued and waved her arms around. Could she possibly become Grimmjow's secret super-spy agent and steal the ring back? But he didn't want anyone to know about it this soon. And what about Ichigo? Carrot-top could keep a secret like no one's business... but again, the big secret...!

Well, maybe there was one person...

"Hey," Grimmjow piped up.

Rukia and Ichigo turned to face him. "What?" Rukia asked.

"Where could I find Uryu?"

*o*o*o*o*

Grimmjow couldn't remember the old name for Shunsui Kyoraku's tailor shop downtown, but when he stepped off the bus, he stumbled at the sight of a new, colorful sign that read: SHUNSUI AND URYU'S MEGA-TAILOR SHOPPE! YEAH!

It didn't help that Shunsui had set up one of those inflatable dancing-man things right outside the shop.

Rolling his eyes, Grimmjow wiped his brow (damn, it really was summer by now) and shoved the door open, stepping into the wonderful air conditioning. "Hey, guys," he greeted, waving.

"Welcome, young sir," Nanao Ise said briskly, stepping up to him, a clipboard in hand, pen at the ready. "We can set up an appointment at your convenience for measuring, testing fabric, accessories, and pricing -"

"Forget that boring stuff! Grimmjow's here!" a new girl cried. Bambietta emerged from behind a clothes rack, shoved Nanao aside, and flung her arms around Grimmjow in a tight hug. "Hey, big buddy! Back in town? About time!"

"B-Bambi...!" Grimmjow gasped. Why was every girl determined to squeeze him like a tube of toothpaste?

"You're the first cool person to come in here all week!" Bambi added, not letting go. "I mean, Byakuya came in here for a new blazer and stuff, but he's -"

"A good patron, you know," Nanao cut in, peeling Bambi off Grimmjow with a stern look on her face. "And whenever he visits, you somehow vanish from sight. Makes me wish he'd visit more often."

Bambi stuck out her tongue. "Yeah, you _wish_! Don't be jealous because I dress better than you."

Grimmjow raised his eyebrows. The opposite of that was true: Nanao's deep blue pant suit, decorative ring, and thin gold necklace outshone Bambi's logo-tee, white skirt, and sneakers.

"Now now, no fighting," Shunsui Kyoraku said, approaching the party with his hands clasped politely. "We've gotta get young mister Jeagerjaques fitted right away! Forget the appointment! I'm giving the discount for friends and family."

Nanao sputtered. "That hardly means a thing if you say it to _every_ customer we get."

"Besides, Grimmjow's not a friend," Bambi said, reaching up to ruffle Grimmjow's hair.

"I'm not?" Grimmjow blurted.

"No. You're my best buddy!" Bambi told him. "Shunsui, give him a _free_ suit!"

"Free -!" Nanao looked like she'd have a heart attack.

Shunsui burst out laughing. "Believe me, I'm tempted! But I'm saving up for a sweet new Mercedes. Gotta charge my customers at least a little bit." He clapped his hands on Grimmjow's shoulders. "Come to the back, and I'll get my measuring tape, my boy."

"Uh..." The gears in Grimmjow's head turned at desperate speeds. "Give me a few minutes to browse the fabrics. Alone, please. I have... particular tastes."

Shunsui nodded. "Of course! Nanao, come with me. Let's go over some design sketches with Uryu in the back." He let go of Grimmjow's shoulders and finally left.

Like a lost puppy, Bambietta followed Grimmjow through the maze of display racks everywhere he went. "Grimmjow," she said.

"What?"

"What's your game, cat boy? You never come here without a good reason."

Grimmjow put his hands on his hips and turned to face her. "Nosy as ever."

Bambi put on an innocent smile and swatted Grimmjow's shoulder. "C'mon, you're so easy to read. Are you anxious about something? Planning something big? Drawing up some courage?"

"Whoa." Grimmjow blinked. "You seriously know me too well." He tried not to flush, but he felt his face warming.

"Exactly." Bambi cupped Grimmjow's cheeks in her hands, tip-toeing to look him in the eye. "Here's my welcome-back present: I'll help you. So, what's the big secret cooking in that head of yours?"

"Okay, okay..." Grimmjow sighed. "I... I bought an engagement ring, and Nelliel stole it. I need it back without the secret getting out."

Bambi gasped. "YES!" she cried. "Woo hoo!"

"What's going on over there?" Nanao hollered from the back room.

"Uh... I beat my high score in _Angry Birds_!" Bambi shouted back.

Grimmjow scowled. "Who the heck plays that anymore?"

"Put your cell phone away and do some work!" Nanao called back peevishly.

"Sorry!" Bambi cried, then hopped up and down, pumping her fists. "Yes! I can't believe it! You're finally gonna propose to Halibel?! I thought this day would literally never come."

"I'm not _that_ gutless," Grimmjow snapped. "But I can't anyway, 'cause Nel stole the ring. And I don't think I have the savvy to get it back."

Bambi settled down and took Grimmjow's left hand in both of hers, her eyes glinting with determination. "That's why you've got me, you big hopeless romantic. Now, I just need the right situation..."

Grimmjow shrugged. "Well, um... Ichigo and Rukia are planning a dinner party to welcome me back. Maybe you could steal the ring back and give it to me after the party?"

Bambi poked Grimmjow's stomach. "Silly. I'll host the party at my and Uryu's place, and I'll invite a bunch of people, including Nelliel. I'll tell her that you're gonna propose right then and there. She'll _have_ to bring your ring!"

"Whoa." Grimmjow backed up a step, heart racing. "Slow down, I'm not gonna propose at -"

"Oh." Bambi looked downcast. "I was hoping you'd take this as a cue to do it!"

"Well..." Grimmjow scratched his head. Was this the right opportunity after all? Or would things get too crazy? No, everything would be fine...

Grimmjow decided to hedge his bets. He smiled. "Just make sure Nelliel comes, and I'll invite Halibel. Depending on how things go, I'll make my move."

"Finally!" Bambi pumped her fists again. "It'll be the best party ever!"

"Keep in mind it's a _dinner_ party, not a rave."

"I can tell the difference. Sometimes," Bambi told him. "Okay, I'll go get Uryu and tell him. Give me a sec." She scampered off to the back room. "Uryu!" she cried.

"Hey, honey," Uryu's voice responded. "Is Grimmjow ready for a fitting?"

"Guess what?" Bambi told him. "We're gonna have this huge and fancy dinner party at our place tonight! It'll be great!"

"Wh-what? When was this all decided?"

"Mmmmmmm, about 30 seconds ago."

"And I wasn't in the loop about this?"

"You are now, aren't you, sweetie?"

"Technically, yes. But we might not have room."

"I'll make room!"

"Don't you always."

"I think we'll have around twelve people over -"

"Twelve?!"

"You said you believed in me!"

"Sorry, sorry. This is just rather spontaneous."

"Life is spontaneous! We'll get together with Rukia and Orihime after work to set it up. Grimmjow will invite all our peeps over."

"I thought we agreed as a nation to not use the term 'peeps' anymore."

"Whoops. Okay, Grimmjow will invite all the guests, and we'll have a hell of a time!"

"I'm sure we will."

"Oh! And this means Grimmjow will finally get to see Pantera again. We should give her a cat-sized party hat."

"They don't make those."

"They should!"

"But..."

Grimmjow took this as a cue to scram. He used racks of suit jackets and dresses as cover, and made his exit to the sunny street outside. He blinked in the sudden daylight.

 _Better get this chaos in order._ Grimmjow busted out his phone and sent a group text to Ichigo and Rukia: _Hey, guys. I ran into Bambi at the tailor shop and mentioned our dinner party plan. She and Uryu want to host it. They'll help set up, too._

It didn't take long to get an answer. _**From: Rukia.**_ _Grimmjow, that was my and Ichigo's party! But... you know what, we could use the help._

Then: _**From: Ichigo.**_ _Perfect! Uryu would love to have an Enterprise-D model as a dinner table centerpiece!_

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _No Star Trek decor, Ichigo! And that includes your "Captain Picard" uniform costume. I remember what happened at our last party..._

 _ **From: Ichigo.**_ _Unfortunately, I do too._

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _Now, let's plan a party!_

Grimmjow grinned and shook his head. He'd sure as hell wear his own _Star Trek_ costume (Lieutenant Worf) to a party if Rukia weren't so strict... He typed in his response. _I'll invite my dad, Halibel, Orihime, and Nel. You guys will invite your families, right?_

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _Of course! Big brother Byakuya and grandfather Ginrei would love to visit Uryu and Bambi's house. And Ichigo, when you invite your dad and sisters, make it clear that it's a POLITE dinner party!_

 _ **From: Ichigo.**_ _Sheesh, give me a little credit!_

At that point, the text convo devolved into a mild-mannered but stubborn argument, so Grimmjow put his phone on silent and decided to browse the shops (and maybe get a bite to eat) until later, when the big, dramatic party was gonna go down. _All right, Bambi... your plan had better work!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 4: The Gang's All Here (let's try to make that a good thing)**

It was 7:00 sharp, and Grimmjow rang Uryu and Bambietta's doorbell with Ichigo and Rukia in tow, all smartened up for the party. Grimmjow wore a simple black blazer over a white shirt and black slacks, and Ichigo had a dark brown version of Grimmjow's outfit. Rukia, for her part, wore a yellow sundress and had a purple flower pinned in her hair.

"So, I _am_ dressed okay, right?" Grimmjow asked Rukia, wiping nervous sweat from his brow. "Maybe I should have included that bow tie after all... I wonder if Halibel will think I'm under-dressed..."

Rukia rolled her eyes. "You're fine, Grimmjow. Seriously."

"Nervous, bro?" Ichigo asked.

"N-no, no!" Grimmjow blabbered. "Okay, maybe a little."

Rukia smiled. "Big brother Byakuya won't bite your head off, you know."

"Not this time, anyway," Grimmjow muttered, which earned him a light kick on the shins.

The doors swung open and classical music and chatter wafted out. "Hey, guys! Right on time!" Bambietta cheered. "I was just getting ready to pop open the champagne bottle."

Ichigo scowled. "As long as you don't spray it on me like the last five times."

" _Four_ times," Bambi corrected him, hands on her hips. "I'm not _that_ evil." Then she beamed and backed up. "Come in! Everyone's already here."

Grimmjow smoothed his blazer with his hands and felt his mouth water at the scent of a massive dinner, hand-cooked by... well, half his friends, honestly! "Smells fantastic. Can't wait to dig in."

"You and me both," Bambi said, shutting the door. "Oh, and Rukia, you look great!"

"Thank you. You too," Rukia said kindly. "I think purple is really your color."

"Aw, shucks," Bambi said with typical false modesty, hands clasped behind her back. Her sleeveless evening gown, a rich, dark purple piece, definitely cost more than Grimmjow was comfortable thinking about!

 _Okay, now for my mission,_ Grimmjow thought, mingling with the crowd packed in the living room/kitchen. He hunted down Nel, who chatted with Tatsuki in one corner, and waved hello. "Hey there, Nel, Tatsuki."

"Grimmjow! Finally!" Tatsuki threw her arms around Grimmjow's waist in a tight embrace. "I heard you were finally back in town. Looking good, mister!"

"Thanks," Grimmjow choked out. "I-I need air..."

Nel peeled Tatsuki off of Grimmjow and gave her a gentle shove. "Go mingle," she said. "I gotta ask Grimmjow something real quick."

Tatsuki gave her an annoyed look as she left.

"So..." Nel said with a sly smile. "Halibel is here. Haven't you said hi to her yet?"

Grimmjow looked through the chattering crowd. "Well, uh... I was gonna save it for dinner."

"Later, huh?" Nel repeated. "You know... this is a fantastic opportunity for you, lover boy! I mean, everyone you care about is here. Your friends, your dad, and most of all, your girlfriend! In fact..." She opened her small purse and produced the engagement ring box. "If you propose to her here tonight, I'll give this to you."

"Great. Thanks," Grimmjow said, and he reached for it.

"Hey!" Nel drew back and stuck the box back into her purse, and she bopped Grimmjow on the head with her fist. "Not so fast, buddy! What if you chicken out and run? I'll hang onto this ring until you prove yourself."

Grimmjow hung his head. "You're enjoying this way too much."

"I'm just trying to help."

"I'll... see what I can do." Grimmjow wandered off and found Bambietta.

Bambi grinned. "How you doing?"

"I ran into Nel," Grimmjow said discreetly. "She's got the ring, but didn't give it to me. Looks like we'll have to do this the hard way."

Bambi glanced over at Nel and nodded. "Yeah, no kidding. That girl is cuckoo."

"This coming from you."

Bambi kicked the same shin that Rukia had kicked earlier. "You want my help or not?"

"Sorry!" Grimmjow winced. "So, how will this go down?"

Bambi grinned. "At some point in the party, I'll excuse myself to visit the bathroom, and ask Nel to come with me."

Grimmjow scrunched his face up. "Huh?"

Bambi made an exasperated noise. "Are you dense? Girls do that sometimes! To chat privately about stuff. In my case, I'll overpower her and get your ring back."

"Whoa. This had better not turn into a bathroom brawl."

Bambi tossed her dark hair. "Relax. I can do it. Besides, this gown is a discount knockoff, so I don't mind it getting torn. It just _looks_ expensive." She plucked at the fabric.

"Right, right." Grimmjow wiped his sweaty palms on his slacks. "I just hope that -"

Uryu tapped a fork on a wineglass. "Dinner is served, everyone! Have a seat!"

Grimmjow joined the crowd and had a seat on one of the many mismatched chairs. Uryu, Rukia, Orihime, and the others had gathered several different tables and chairs to seat all these guests, and it was crowded, but not too uncomfortable. And so much food! Like a banquet for a king!

Everyone dug into the first course and started up the polite talk. Takeshi, meanwhile, sat across from Grimmjow, wearing a dark blue blazer over a white, freshly-pressed shirt. "Grimmjow, my boy. I haven't seen you since I went out to visit you last summer!"

"Good to see you, dad," Grimmjow said with a smile. "Sounds like you've been pretty busy at that office lately. This was my first chance to see you."

 _That's it,_ Grimmjow told himself. _Keep cool and be polite until Bambi does her thing. You'll walk away with that ring!_

"Well, that much is true," Takeshi admitted, taking a bite. "Things are a little strained over there, ever since three people from the second floor were fired for -"

Byakuya cleared his throat loudly. "Human resources are being allocated. That is all," he said firmly.

"Yeah, a fancy way to say three bozos got kicked the hell out," Isshin said with a wide grin.

Karin shot her dad a hard look. "Dad...!"

Isshin shrugged.

"Well, I, for one, am proud of all the work my grandson and Rukia do," Ginrei said, taking a sip of wine. "And as long as Byakuya places good faith in Mr. Jeagerjaques, I do too."

"I appreciate that," Takeshi said. He motioned to Halibel, who sat next to her boyfriend, and he smiled again. "I forgot how great you kids look together. I'm surprised you didn't escort her here, son."

"Well, uh..." Grimmjow went red. "She was helping set up. I just came here with Ichigo and Rukia. I bet I'd make things worse trying to cook or decorate."

Halibel giggled. "You've cooked just fine before, darling," she told Grimmjow. She kissed his cheek. "You should definitely host the next party."

"I'll... think about it," Grimmjow said with a nervous smile. All the while, he kept checking on what Nelliel and Bambietta were doing; so far, nothing unusual, just chatting with Orihime, Ichigo, Rukia, and Tatsuki. Hmmmmmmm... how long was this going to take?

The main course was served, and Grimmjow found himself getting a little woozy from the wine. "This is strong stuff," he commented, setting down his empty wineglass.

"It sure is," Halibel said, fanning herself, her face going pink. "Uryu, I think I'll have to pass on having a second glass."

"I understand," Uryu said.

"What?!" Bambi yelped. "No way! Have another, Halibel!"

"I say, keep it coming!" Isshin cried, raising his glass. Bambi filled it, and Isshin downed it all.

Byakuya blinked hard. He looked dizzy. "I have had two glasses. Clearly, even that was too much." He blinked again.

"Dad, you shouldn't have any more," Yuzu piped up as Isshin had another glass. Then another. "Or you might - oh no."

"Guys and girls! Watch this!" Isshin bolted to his feet, gathered up all the empty plates and teacups he could reach, and loudly sang circus music as he juggled them.

"Party's over," Karin muttered, clapping a hand over her face.

"Whew! I, for one, could use a bathroom break," Bambi said, setting her cloth napkin on her plate. "Hey, Nel... come with me?"

Nel looked up from her plate. "But I was gonna eat another -"

"Now," Bambi said sternly, standing up. "Please?"

"All righty." Nel picked up her purse and followed Bambi down the hall and out of sight. Grimmjow heard a door shut.

Meanwhile, Byakuya clenched his fists on the table. "Isshin!" he grated. "Could you stop doing that?"

"Do what?" Isshin hollered, singing even louder as he kept juggling.

"Oh, let him have his fun, Byakuya," Ginrei said, waving a hand and taking another sip of wine. "What's the harm?"

"But, grandfather, it's... it's..." Byakuya sighed. "Amusing, I suppose."

"Yeah! I know!" Orihime cried, waving her arms. "Do more tricks, Mr. Kurosaki!" Around her, everyone cheered and beat their fists on the table in a rhythm. "Do it! Do it! Do it!" they chanted.

 _No one misses a chance to turn a dinner party into THIS kind of party,_ Grimmjow thought as he chanted with everyone. At that very moment, the bathroom door slammed open and both Nel and Bambi came rushing out, grappling with each other, shouting nonsense.

"You girls okay?" Ichigo yelped.

"Give it back!" Nel cried, grappling for the engagement ring box. She swiped her hand at it and sent it flying through the air. It bounced off Byakuya's head and landed on his plate.

Byakuya flinched. "What's going on here?"

"Let me see that." Takeshi seized the box and turned it over in his hands. "Is this a -"

Alarm shot through Grimmjow's nerves and he batted the box from Takeshi's hands and onto the floor, out of sight. "I think the party's over," he told Halibel over the noise. "I'll walk you home."

Halibel stared in bewilderment. "What's going on? What was that box?"

"N-nothing. Let's get outta here. This place is crazy." Grimmjow took Halibel's hand and led her across the living room and to the door.

"Hey, Grimmjow!" Nel cried, holding up the ring box. "If you want this back, you have to become my personal servant! Get over here and serve me!"

Bambi tackled her to the floor in a desperate bid to get the ring back.

Grimmjow wasted no time in making his escape with Halibel. He shut the front door and cut off all the noise.

"Whoa." Grimmjow ran a hand over his face. "What a party. I could use some peace and quiet."

"We could go back to my place," Halibel offered with a smile. "I have some desserts there."

"Yeah. I'd like that." Grimmjow glanced at the door "Give me a minute. I forgot something. Just stay here, okay?"

He wrenched the door open, pushed his way through all the guests, and helped Bambietta pin Nel onto the floor.

"W-well done, Grimmjow!" Nelliel cried, holding up the ring box. "I think you earned this. Ow! That hurts, Bambi!"

Grimmjow snatched up the box, waved good-bye to everyone, and hurried back out the door before anything else insane got a chance to happen. Then he pocketed the box, laced his fingers with Halibel's, and walked her to the bus stop.

*o*o*o*o*

"I hope you don't mind if this cheesecake is a week old," Halibel said as she set a plate down at her kitchen table. She sat opposite her boyfriend with her own slice, a bashful smile on her face. "Nel got it and forgot to eat any of it."

"I don't mind, babe. It looks great." Grimmjow dug his fork into the slice and had a bite. It sure tasted fine... but he couldn't relax. That ring box felt huge and heavy in his pocket, like a lead brick!

Halibel giggled and shook her head. "You know, a small part of me was expecting the dinner party to get wild like that. In this circle of friends, it comes with the territory, I suppose." She took another bite.

Grimmjow nodded silently. After that dinner party, Halibel and Nel's apartment was almost _too_ quiet, except for the hum of the air conditioner, and the ticking of an antique clock in the living room. In a way, this was even more intense. Grimmjow's throat felt tight.

"I should have a talk with Nel," Halibel said after a few more seconds of silence. "Ever since you got back in town, she's been even crazier than usual. I don't know _where_ she gets her energy from."

"Hey, wild animals have to run free," Grimmjow joked. "Right?"

Halibel giggled again. "Well, she _does_ like visiting the park..." She tilted her head, her fork holding still over her half-eaten cheesecake slice. "Are you all right? You look like you have a cramp, honey."

Grimmjow waved a dismissive hand, his face warm. "No, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong."

Then he stood up. "Actually... there's something I wanted to ask you about. Somethin' pretty important."

Halibel smiled. "Let me guess: there's another comic book convention in town soon. Does this mean we can do _Star Trek_ cosplay? Or maybe your Batman costumes?"

"Believe me, babe, I'd love that. But I meant... uh..." Grimmjow knelt on the tiled kitchen floor and held out the box. He pried open the lid. "I was gonna ask you: Halibel, will you marry me?"

"Oh!" Halibel's sea-green eyes widened and she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Grimmjow, I..."

Grimmjow stayed in position, the ring's little diamond glittering, his heart fit to explode.

"Yes! Of course I will!" Halibel dropped her fork, leaped to her feet, and held out her hand. She couldn't help having a wide, amazed smile on her face.

 _I did it!_ Grimmjow slipped the ring onto Halibel's left ring finger, then stood and kissed her. "I love you, Halibel," he said. "And I seriously can't wait for the wedding."

Halibel kissed him back. "I know! Me, neither! Oh my goodness... I love you so much, Grimmjow." She patted his cheek. "I can't wait to tell mom and dad about this!"

"They'll be cool with it?" Grimmjow asked.

"They had _better_ be," Halibel said with a sly smile, toying with the ring on her finger. "Or we'll just have to elope."

Grimmjow stared. "Are you for real?"

Halibel burst out laughing. "I'm just kidding! I'm sure they'll be very happy for us. You'll have to tell your dad, too! Oh my word..." She held a hand to her chest, breathing hard. "I'm breathless..."

"We'll figure this out together," Grimmjow promised. "Like the bridal shower, planning the wedding, all that stuff." As he spoke, he realized how much this was gonna cost. How exactly were they gonna work this out?

Hell, they'd worry about it later. No big deal!  
"I can't wait," Halibel said, still toying with the ring on her finger, twisting it around. "I really can't wait, Grimmjow."

"I know. We keep saying that, don't we?" Grimmjow closed the box and pocketed it. He held his fiancee close and rested his head on her shoulder. "I kinda want to spend the night here. But all my stuff is at Ichigo's place."

Halibel hugged him tight. "I'll find something for you. No way are you leaving tonight, buster! Stay with me."

"I'm all yours."


	5. Chapter 5

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 5: The Wedding Planners Assemble (and "powder keg" is an understatement...)**

Halibel already informed all her friends in town of her engagement, and her parents were next, once she invited them to lunch.

"Oh my goodness, Halibel! It's gorgeous," Halibel's mom, Miza Tier, gasped. She completely forgot about her lunch in the crowded downtown restaurant when her daughter held out a hand to show off her engagement ring. The tiny diamond glinted in the warm noon sunlight coming through the nearest window.

"Thanks, mom," Halibel said. She hardly touched her lunch, either. She twisted it around her finger, a new habit she'd already developed. "It's funny... such a thin ring, but it feels so... I dunno, heavy on my finger. It's conspicuous." She winced. "In a good way, I mean!"

Keito Tier, Halibel's dad, picked at his brown rice with his chopsticks, a warm smile on his face. His wire-frame glasses glinted. "I'm so happy for you, my darling. It's such a big milestone in life. I still remember the day I proposed to your mother." He turned to Miza. "Remember that?"

Miza chuckled. "I remember thinking, 'when is this nerd finally gonna pop the question?!'"

Keito made a face. "I didn't wait _that_ long, honey."

"Three and a half years felt pretty long to me," Miza said loftily, finally taking a bite of her lunch. She brushed her messy blonde bange from her face. "My friends were all nagging me about it..."

"I... you know I was waiting to get my Master's degree," Keito sputtered. "I had to carefully manage my time."

Miza smiled at her daughter. "Halibel, dear, that's what happens when you date a finance and business major. He turns _everything_ into spreadsheets and projected interest rates. You should have seen his shower schedule..."

Halibel giggled. "Grimmjow's the opposite, really. He's always happy to surprise me."

"You've got yourself a good fellow, my darling," Keito said, taking a sip of his beer. "I hope he's ready to help plan your wedding? It's a lot of work, you know."

"And yes, it helps to make a spreadsheet," Miza joked. "Ask your father."

Keito choked on his beer. "I needed it to be the most romantic day of our lives!"

"I know. And your love for numbers and file folders really shone through," Miza said with a wide grin.

Keito cleared his throat. "Moving on from my working-stiff ways... Halibel, dear, let us know if you need any financial help with the wedding. Depending on how big it will be, and the number of guests, and the venue -"

"Wait, wait." Halibel held out her hand to stop him. "I don't want to burden you."

Keito adjusted his tie importantly. "Of course I can help. That raise last year gave me some extra breathing room."

Halibel felt herself flush. "Thanks, dad, but... I just feel like I'd owe you a lot. You and mom."

Miza leaned forward slightly. "What do you mean, dear?"

"Well..." Halibel toyed with her lunch. She didn't feel as hungry anymore. "I mean, our engagement was so spur of the moment, and Grimmjow has to leave town in September for classes, so..." Then it clicked in her mind. "A small, intimate wedding," she declared. "Minimal expenses. Just the hard work of my fiance and me, and our friends."

Keito blinked. "Well, that _does_ sound practical. I'd be happy to lend a hand. Me and your mother. You know, with the guest list, managing what limited expenses you will have, logistics... we want to help any way we can, big wedding or small wedding."

Halibel smiled. "Thanks. Both of you. It means a lot." She took a bite, but now her stomach felt tense. This was going to be a lot of work! She'd need even more help...

It was time to call the cavalry.

"Sorry, just a minute..." Halibel got out her phone and sent a group text to Rukia, Orihime, Tatsuki, and Bambietta. _I've got an idea! Can we all meet somewhere and work out a big project together? It's for the wedding._

It didn't take long for a response to appear.

 _ **From: Orihime.**_ _Yes! Hooray! I'd love to help with your wedding stuff! Everyone should come to my apartment. I'll make afternoon snacks._

 _ **From: Bambi.**_ _All we ever do at your place is goof off._

 _ **From: Tatsuki.**_ _Bambi, you goof off EVERYWHERE you go._

 _ **From: Orihime.**_ _Then it's settled! Let's meet at my apartment at 3:00 and help Halibel with wedding stuff. It'll be great!_

Halibel pocketed her phone before Bambietta could make a snappy comeback. "Don't worry, mom and dad. My girlfriends will lend a hand, too."

 _I think..._

*o*o*o*o*

Right at 3:00, Halibel knocked on Orihime's front door, and she yelped with shock when the orange-haired girl opened up and yanked her inside. "Careful!" Halibel cried. She kicked off her shoes at the last second.

"Sorry!" Orihime said, beaming. "I'm just excited, that's all! Let me calm down." She took a few deep breaths, then shrugged. "Nope. Still excited!"

"Well, _there's_ the bride-to-be," Tatsuki said, emerging from the hallway, dusting her hands off. "We're here to help, Halibel."

"Thank you." Halibel glanced around. "Rukia and Bambi aren't here yet?"

"Oh, they're here," Tatsuki said with a wicked grin.

Halibel frowned. "Where?"

To answer her question, Rukia's loud voice rang out from behind Orihime's closed bedroom door. "It's three to one, Bambi! We're _not_ having fireworks and a mosh pit at the reception!"

"It wasn't a fair vote!" Bambietta's voice shrieked. "Halibel didn't weigh in! Now get off me, shorty!"

"What did you call me?!"

There was a yelp of pain.

Halibel hung her head. "Things are off to a great start..."

"Rukia has Bambi pinned down... I mean, calmed down for now," Tatsuki said, cracking her neck. She picked up a wedding catalogue from the coffee table and handed it over. "Okay, Orihime and I were going over whether an outdoor or indoor ceremony is better. I mean, we're on a tight timetable, so we have to decide quickly -"

"Hey! Stop!" Rukia cried from the bedroom, but it was too late. The bedroom door crashed open and Bambietta raced out, holding up a box of fireworks.

"Hi, Halibel. Quick! Say you want fireworks!" Bambi panted, until Rukia pounced like a petite jaguar and tackled her to the floor. They knocked over a lamp and collapsed in a tangle of limbs and that fireworks box.

"One sec," Tatsuki told Halibel, then stomped over, separated her friends, and sat cross-legged on Bambi's back, arms folded. "There," she told her pinned friend. "Gonna behave now?"

Bambietta groaned, pinned stomach-down on the floor. "Ugh... it's way hotter when I do this to Uryu. Turns him on."

"Yeah, well, I'm not your four-eyed boy toy," Tatsuki reminded her smugly. "I'm the one who'll keep you in check. Got it, missy?"

Bambi groaned. "I just want to make an impact at the wedding. It's for the bride."

"Saying that doesn't make it any less insane," Tatsuki snapped. "I _know_ you want to set off some of those fireworks indoors."

"I wanna watch them bounce around the dance floor. What's the harm?"

"They're so passionate about this project," Orihime said brightly to Halibel, smiling and gesturing to her arguing friends.

Rukia stalked over. "Move it, Tatsuki." Once there was room, she sat on Bambi next to Tatsuki. She grinned wickedly. "Now that I've got you down there, here are my demands."

Bambi grunted helplessly.

"One: rabbit-pattern tablecloths," Rukia said, holding up a finger. "Two: glass bowls of candy at every table. Every flavor. Third: we all play charades, with a huge cash prize for the winning team -"

"I'll never give in to you," Bambi said defiantly, despite being smushed under her two friends.

"How's _this_?" Tatsuki lifted herself a few inches, then forcefully sank right back down. Bambi grunted in surprise.

"Okay, no more sitting on friends," Halibel cried, waving her arms. "I'm the bride! I forbid it!"

But no one heard her as the other four girls started arguing loudly about fireworks, rabbit patterns, and candy. Halibel raised her voice and repeated herself, but no one noticed, especially when Orihime bopped Tatsuki on the head with the rolled-up wedding catalogue, sparking more debate.

Halibel sighed. She removed her ring and prepared to throw it away. "I'm breaking up with Grimmjow," she said simply.

The other girls went dead silent. "N-no!" Rukia gasped, clutching her face in horror.

Halibel smiled and put her ring back on. "Do I have your attention now?"

"What's your ultimatum?" Bambi asked, still pinned under various butts.

"It's not an _ultimatum_ ," Halibel said indignantly. "Can't we agree on just one thing? I just want to get us back on track."

"Tracks?" Orihime said with a gasp of inspiration. "You and Grimmjow should marry at a train station! Like how trains represent leaving the station of, uh, being unmarried, and going to the married future."

"That's not a thing," Rukia said dismissively. "They should get married at a petting zoo. We can toss rabbits at them for good luck!"

Bambi giggled. "We all know what the rabbits _really_ stand for."

Orihime looked confused. "Huh?"

"Consummating their marriage," Bambi said slyly. "Goin' at it like rabbits! Nice idea, Rukia!"

Rukia went red and steam practically shot out of her ears. "N-no, I wasn't...!"

Tatsuki humphed. "It's the best idea we've come up with so far."

Halibel cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. It didn't work.

"Oh, look." Halibel pulled out her cell phone. "Grimmjow just texted me and called the whole thing off. He's running off with Candice to Singapore."

"WHAT?!" Bambi shrieked like a banshee. "My sister?! I'll kill her! Stealing your man from you... the nerve!"

Halibel rolled her eyes. "She's still studying abroad in Seoul, right? And I was kidding. To get your attention. We keep getting sidetracked!"

"Ooooooh!" Orihime cried, raising her hand like a schoolgirl.

Halibel raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"

"Speaking of tracks, you could marry Grimmjow _in_ a train," Orihime offered. "Like the Orient Express or something!"

"This isn't an Agatha Christie novel," Tatsuki groaned.

"I don't think trains are part of the package," Halibel said, trying to keep things on track. Wait... wrong figure of speech. Keep things... sane. Yeah!

"Then where?" Bambi said from her low vantage point on the floor.

"That's what we should figure out together," Halibel said, sitting on the couch. "Orihime, could I borrow the catalogue? We need ideas."

Slowly, reluctantly, Tatsuki and Rukia freed Bambietta and joined the bride-to-be on the couch with the others. Bambi rolled her neck and rubbed the sore spots.

"I didn't deserve that," she complained.

"Did too," Tatsuki bit back.

Bambi pouted. "Wait 'till I tell Uryu about this. He'll come to my defense!"

"What'll he do?" Rukia teased. "Do long division at us?"

"No, he'll fold a memo into a paper airplane and throw it at us," Tatsuki joked.

"Hey!" Halibel cried. "Focus. What's an affordable, convenient, and romantic venue?"

"I know! A national park!" Bambi put in.

Halibel winced. "Sounds like a long trip..."

"Get married in a train," Orihime said.

Rukia gave Orihime's shoulder a gentle shove. "We ruled that one out, sweetheart."

"My dojo!" Tatsuki said. "It's roomy and classy, and totally free."

"And smells like armpits," Bambi reminded her.

Tatsuki growled. "I should sit on you again."

Bambietta shrank back. "I've seen too much of the floor already."

"A petting zoo," Rukia offered.

"Ruled that out, too," Tatsuki told her. "C'mon, keep up..."

Rukia bared her teeth. "I'm not afraid to fight you over it, y'know."

Halibel sighed and stood. "Maybe we should do this tomorrow when we're not so worked up. What do you all say?"

"No!" Bambi sprang to her feet, a pleading look on her face. "We're your wedding planner team. Trust us! We can figure this out today!"

"We haven't even agreed on anything," Halibel lamented.

"Well, we all agree that we love our friend, and we should do anything we can to help her," Orihime told Rukia, Bambi, and Tatsuki. "Right?"

The others murmured their agreement.

Halibel smiled and sat back down. "Thank you, everyone. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"No problem." Tatsuki cleared her throat. "So: venue. My dojo is perfect. I'll have my sensei put up streamers and balloons. It'll look great!"

"I've been in that dojo once," Rukia told her. "It smells like armpits in a crowded bus in the deepest sewer."

Tatsuki went red. "Fine, then where? And don't say -"

"A petting zoo. With rabbits," Rukia said firmly.

"What are you, five?" Tatsuki retorted. "Rabbits are dumb!"

Rukia stared, then let out a jungle cry and pounced on her friend. They tussled and flailed on the floor as Bambi cheered "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Halibel took this chance to set down the catalogue, slip on her sneakers, and escape through the front door. This would definitely have to wait until later!

 _Nelliel admitted she stole the ring to control Grimmjow,_ she remembered as she made her way to the bus stop. She shook her head. _Nel's turning out to be the sanest of my friends!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 6: Grimmjow Forms the Bro Wedding Planner Team (that's not as productive as it sounds)**

"Thanks again for having me over for dinner, grandfather," Rukia said kindly that evening in the Kuchiki house's large dining room. She was dressed nicely for the evening, in a deep blue, knee-length dress and a thin gold necklace and earrings. Definitely a step up from how she dressed at her place while watching the Batman animated series with Ichigo late at night! Here, the expensive china cabinet, grandfather clock, and classical music on the sound system were more Byakuya's speed than Rukia's.

"Anything for my darling granddaughter," Ginrei said with a quick smile. He dug his fork into his pasta dish. "So... I hear that your friend Halibel Tier got engaged a few days ago. You must be very happy for her."

"I sure am," Rukia said. "It's gonna be the biggest day of her life! The wedding, I mean..."

Byakuya looked up from his own plate. A tiny grin tugged at the corners of his lips. "Hmmmmmm. I think I recognize that tone in your voice, Rukia." Like usual, he wore a silver suit vest over his white shirt, and a gold wristwatch.

Rukia made a false innocent face. "What tone?"

"When you're plotting something with your friends," Byakuya said, and he took a bite. "I'd know it anywhere."

"Well... okay, you caught me." Rukia's face warmed. "Halibel got us all together to form the wedding planner team. But we ain't a team. I have the best ideas, and the other girls keep fighting me!"

Ginrei chuckled. "That sounds like a real problem, my dear."

"No problem is too much for a Kuchiki," Byakuya said simply, patting the corners of his mouth with his cloth napkin. "Rukia, whatever's going on, we can -"

"I appreciate that," Rukia said with a smile, "but I think I can handle it."

"It's quite a lot of work, you know," Byakuya told her.

"Halibel deserves the best wedding ever," Rukia declared, thumping an open hand on the table. "But Bambi and Tatsuki and Orihime are being dumb! It's up to me to make this magical day happen! I'm Rukia Kuchiki! _I can do it!"_

She realized that she had stood up, he voice raised. "Uh..."

Ginrei burst out laughing. "Now that's the spirit, Rukia!"

"Sorry," Rukia mumbled as she sat back down, her face going red. "I'm just... fired up, I guess."

"I appreciate what you're doing for your friend," Byakuya said. "I'll help you however I can."

"Thanks," Rukia said. "But no money."

Byakuya's slate-gray eyes widened. "I'm sorry?"

Rukia pointed at her brother-in-law. "I mean, I don't wanna borrow a bunch of cash and coast on it. Halibel and Grimmjow want a intimate ceremony that we all put together with our bare hands! I'll figure something out. It'll be authentic and personal."

"I see." Byakuya took a bite of spicy pasta. It didn't faze him at all. "I admire your work ethic, Rukia. Though I am still willing to help, expense-free. I, too, can roll up my sleeves and do some hard work."

Rukia giggled.

Byakuya pursed his lips. "What is it?"

"Sorry, big brother, but you don't look ready to get down and dirty," Rukia teased him.

"Not at all." Byakuya smoothed his expensive vest. "I can be handy if I so wish!"

"My grandson's idea of hard work is ironing his own shirts," Ginrei put in with a smile. "Such intense labor."

"Grandfather!" Byakuya went pink.

Ginrei chuckled. "Oh, it's nothing, Byakuya. I'm confident that you will help make that wedding a success."

"Of course," Byakuya said importantly. "I'm not afraid of a little hard work. Not at all!"

Rukia took a sip of wine. "Thank you, brother." _Still, I feel like I should find more help, just in case. I think I need to reorganize the wedding planning team._

Then it hit her.

*o*o*o*o*

Grimmjow stepped off the bus, crossed the bustling afternoon sidewalk, and threw open the doors to Urahara Shoten. "Hey, Kisuke!" he announced. "Long time no see!"

"If it ain't the little Jaegerjaques!" Kisuke emerged from the back offices, his wooden sandals loud on the tiled floor, his eyes shaded under his hat's brim. "Welcome, welcome!"

Grimmjow scowled. "Hey, did you call me little?"

"Well, after having your dad work here for a few years..." Kisuke cleared his throat. "The shop really expanded, thanks to him. I might even open a second location soon. Can you believe it?"

Ichigo also emerged from the back offices, papers in his hand, a pen tucked behind his ear. "Yeah, but it won't have the oh-so-fond memories of this place."

Kisuke drew his fan and placed it over his mouth. "Oh, big deal! We'll just make new memories in there!"

"Gross," Grimmjow muttered.

"Anyway..." Kisuke snapped his fan closed and spread his arms wide. "What can I do for you, cat boy? I've got all kinds of new merchandise in stock. I even have ice cream makers! Perfect for this sweltering heat..."

"Actually..." Grimmjow grinned. "Can Ichigo take a half-day today? I need him."

Kisuke glanced at his second-in-command. "I dunno..."

"I'm putting together a wedding planner team, and our schedule is crazy tight," Grimmjow explained.

Ichigo looked to his boss. "It's a slow day anyway, Mr. Hat and Clogs. Why not?"

Kisuke chewed on his lower lip, his mental gears turning. "Well... would you buy wedding supplies from my store?"

Grimmjow shrugged. "Maybe some of them, I guess."

"Including the cake?" Kisuke pressed him.

"What the... you can do that?" Grimmjow asked, eyes wide.

"Sure I can! Of course!" Kisuke chuckled like a wise old man.

Ichigo elbowed his boss. "Watch out, Grimmjow. By that, he means he'll shove a bunch of Twinkies and leftover cupcakes together into a 'cake'. Don't do it, man."

Kisuke winced. "You gave away my trade secret, Ichigo!"

"More like spared your customers the horror." Ichigo grinned. "C'mon, Mr. Urahara... it'll be good for business. Let's plan a wedding."

"Mmmmmmm... oh, all right. Who am I to deprive you boys of your dreams?" Kisuke had his fan back out in a flash. "But you still have to buy some stuff from me. I gotta turn over a profit once in a while."

Grimmjow shook Kisuke's hand. "You're the best."

"At making trouble," Ichigo muttered.

Kisuke raised his eyebrows. "What was that, carrot-head?"

Ichigo went red. "N-nothing!"

"So..." Grimmjow texted Uryu as Ichigo put away his office stuff. "Let's get back to our place and get the ball rolling."

"I have basketballs and soccer balls in stock," Kisuke offered. "Special discount for -"

"See you." Grimmjow motioned for Ichigo to follow him, and beat a hasty retreat.

*o*o*o*o*

Escaping Kisuke's shop didn't put an end to all the complications, though.

"D'you all think Rukia could help us?" Grimmjow wondered as he, Ichigo, and Uryu met at the house.

Ichigo shrugged. "Probably not. She's been meeting with Orihime and the other girls to figure out some wedding stuff. They're trying to choose a venue and theme. Maybe we could work out the other details."

"Oh yes, Bambietta told me about that," Uryu said, his eyeglasses glinting angrily. "Your girlfriends did not treat her very well at their meeting, you know..."

Ichigo grinned. "Sorry, bud. I can't be held accountable for Rukia's wild ways."

"You can try it a _little_!" Uryu cried. "The way she treats my Bambi..."

Grimmjow waved a hand between his two friends. "Cool it, guys. We've got a mission."

"Oh, and there's one more thing to figure out," Ichigo realized as he went to the fridge to dig up some beers. "Grimmjow, who's the best man? You never mentioned it."

"Uh..." Grimmjow blinked as he caught the beer Ichigo tossed him. How could he forget?! "That's a good point."

"It certainly is," Uryu said, cracking open his cold one. "Perhaps you should decide now, before we move on to other matters."

Grimmjow toyed with the cold beer can in his hands. "Hard to say. You guys are tied in my mind."

"As long as it ain't Keigo," Ichigo said, taking a chug of beer. "You'd never recover from the bachelor party."

Uryu shuddered. "Tell me there won't be a bachelor party!"

Grimmjow's jaw dropped. "Why the hell not?!"

"Because they're horrible debauchery," Uryu argued. "We're better than that."

Grimmjow sighed. "It won't be Keigo. And Chad is cool, and Mizuiro is all right, but you guys are my top two choices."

"Gotta break the tie," Ichigo said. "C'mon, Grimmjow. Choose me."

"It should be me, of course," Uryu said importantly. "I can organize and plan all sorts of -"

"A game of chance," Grimmjow decided. "We could flip a coin."

Uryu scowled. "You can't be serious. This is too important for a coin toss. It's your _wedding_ , Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow nodded. "Exactly. The game shall be... rock-paper -"

Uryu held up a hand. "No way!"

"I wasn't done," Grimmjow said. "You and Ichigo play rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock for it."

"What is _that_?" Uryu demanded.

"It's the awesome version of rock-paper-scissors," Ichigo explained. He mimed the two new moves. "Lizard beats Spock and paper and loses to rock and scissors. Spock wins against rock and scissors, and loses to paper and lizard. The original rules stay the same. Feel like playing?"

Uryu sighed. "Fine." He held out a hand, as did Ichigo, and they prepaerd to make their moves. "Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, spock!"

Ichigo threw out Spock. Uryu threw out... a weird tangle of fingers.

"That's not a real move," Grimmjow told Uryu.

Uryu went red. "This variant is confusing."

"Look: do this for lizard, and that for Spock," Ichigo told him, imitating the new moves. "Got it? Good. Go again. Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, spock!"

They both threw out lizard.

"Do it again," Grimmjow said.

"Forget this!" Uryu snapped. "Grimmjow, your best man represents your deepest trust and admiration for another fellow! You don't have a brother, so you must choose your best friend. Who is it?"

Ichigo put on his best puppy eyes.

"Uh..." Grimmjow scratched his head. "This is a real head-scratcher."

Uryu sighed. "Literally, I see."

"Hold on." Grimmjow dashed into the dining room and scooped up his calico cat, Pantera, into his arms. She meowed and purred as Grimmjow carried her back to the living room.

"Is that Pantera?" Uryu asked.

"Yeah." Grimmjow set her down on the floor. "Whoever she chooses will be my best man."

Pantera wandered in circles around Ichigo and Uryu, her tail twitching, her eyes wide. But she didn't seem to choose anyone.

Ichigo finished his beer. "This might take a while. I'll get the next round."

The three bros had another few rounds of beer as Pantera wandered around. Grimmjow even got out the catnip to speed along Pantera's mental process, but instead, she ran around the house like crazy, yowling. No decision was made!

Ichigo sighed. "There's just one way to decide this."

Uryu rolled his eyes as he finished his fourth beer. "Now what?"

Ichigo got another round of beers and invited everyone into his room. He powred on his TV and GameCube. "The game is... _Super Smash Bros. Melee_. And since Rukia isn't here, I'm free to turn the volume up. Pull up a chair, everyone."

Uryu sank into a chair and took a controller. "I'm not as good at this game as you guys."

"Who's your main character?" Ichigo asked as the game started up.

Uryu shrugged. "Bowser, I guess."

Ichigo burst out laughing. "There's your first problem."

"I play Fox and Captain Falcon," Grimmjow told him. "Play a character like that. Try Falco."

So they launched into the game. Uryu tried Falco, but couldn't beat Ichigo's Marth or Grimmjow's Fox. Then, after ten rounds, it was seeming like Ichigo was going to win. But first...

"No! Bad kitty!" Ichigo cried when Pantera, still high on catnip, sprinted into the room, jumped onto the dresser, and knocked the GameCube to the floor. All the cables were yanked out of the console, and the game crapped out.

Ichigo hung his head. "We still don't have a winner."

"I know," Grimmjow said, feeling woozy from the beer. "Y'know, I love you guys. How could I drive this divide between you? I'm the worst friend ever!"

"No! I'm the one who pushed you!" Uryu moaned, going red from the beer's effects. "You don't deserve me."

Ichigo clapped Uryu on the back. "Anyone would be lucky to have you, my man. I'm the bad guy here! I beat you up in _Melee_!"

They all sobbed together until Rukia came back and walked through the living room. "Ichigo, honey, I'm home!" she cried. "Where are you guys?"

She found them in the bedroom, sobbing over the fallen GameCube with beer cans everywhere. "Um... I'll see you guys later," Rukia said, rolling her eyes. She snuck out the front door.

It was evening by the time Uryu went home, and Grimmjow relaxed on his bed. Still no best man... but at least his friendships with Ichigo and Uryu were intact!

It was a good day after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 7: An Afternoon at the Karakura Mall (bribes, ice cream, pride, and rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock are all on the line here)**

It was almost noon when Grimmjow stepped into the Karakura Mega Mall's entrance with Halibel, and he waved at his two friends. "Are we late?" he called out.

Standing by the entrance of a shoe store, Rukia waved back, beaming. "Right on time! Hi, guys! Glad you could make it."

"Well, we had the afternoon free, so..." Grimmjow shrugged, holding his fiancee's hand in his as he joined Ichigo and Rukia in the busy, noisy mall. "So, this is _just_ a friendly outing, huh?" He grinned.

Ichigo glanced at Rukia. "Yeah, Rukia. Why do I get the feeling this is more than an ordinary double date?"

Rukia pouted. "I'm innocent! What kinda game do you think I'm playing?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Well, you called Grimmjow and Halibel here for an 'afternoon of indulgence', and they conveniently haven't chosen their best man or maid of honor yet..."

"Well..." Rukia went red, nervously smoothing her skirt. "The gang's all here now, isn't it? Let's get started!"

Halibel smiled. "What do you have in mind?"

Spending a load of cash, that's what! Ten minutes later, Grimmjow found himself, and his friends, halfway through a fantastic massage at Lady Michiko's Massage Parlor on the mall's second floor, and he didn't even want to think about what the bill was gonna look like. But who cared?! Grimmjow felt years of tension being kneaded right out of his body as he lay there, a white towel draped over him. The others were getting the same royal treatment.

"Mmmmmmm, I can feel myself relaxing," Rukia murmured into the crook of her arm. "Aaaahhh..."

"This is the life," Halibel said happily, her blonde hair loose from it usual ponytails as a masseur caressed her. "I've never done this before."

"What? Never?" Rukia blurted.

"I can't believe what I was missing," Halibel moaned. "I love you, Rukia..."

"Huh?" Rukia went bright red and nearly sat up.

"Miss Kuchiki! Please lay still," Rukia's masseur cried. "Or this will take longer than usual!"

Grimmjow raised his eyebrows. "How often are you in here, Rukia?!"

The petite girl went redder. "Uh... this is my first time."

"Says the _Kuchiki_ heiress."

"Sh-shut up, cat boy!"

"Everyone, stop fighting," Halibel said woozily, sighing as her masseur kept working. "We're all one in the eyes of the earth mother..."

Ichigo burst out laughing. "She's losing it, man."

Rukia bolted upright and gently slapped her boyfriend upside the head. "Don't ruin the moment!"

"What did I do?" Ichigo yelped, also sitting upright.

"You're ruining my plan, you doofus," Rukia retorted.

"I knew it!" Ichigo said triumphantly. "You _are_ trying to bribe them!" He clapped a hand over his mouth. "Shoot. That was a secret."

Grimmjow grinned. "Leave it to Rukia to pull ahead of the pack. I'm guessing Uryu and Bambietta don't know we're here?"

Rukia sat cross-legged on her massage chair. "What they don't know won't hurt them. Now, hurry up, guys, and let's get lunch."

"Not so fast, little lady." Grimmjow gave her the thumbs-up. "You paid for this massage session. We're getting our money's worth."

"Another one," Halibel said, still woozy as she held up a finger. "Massage all my troubles away, like a fleeting dream..."

Rukia went pink. "O-okay, one more session..."

It was nearly 1:00 by the time they were all done, and Grimmjow kept rolling his shoulders and his neck as he walked along with his friends. "I'm all loose and flexible," he said, amused. "It's like I'm made of rubber."

"Me, too," Halibel said, smiling. "I feel reborn."

"You were getting a little weird in that parlor," Ichigo told her. "Feeling all right? Ouch!" He winced when Rukia flicked his ear.

"Come on, it's lunchtime. My treat," Rukia announced. She sprinted ahead, arms held wide like an airplane's wings. Grimmjow glanced at Halibel, nodded, and hurried after her with the others.

As soon as everyone sat at a table with their food, though, Ichigo gave his girlfriend a sharp look. "I thought you weren't gonna spend your brother's money on wedding stuff," he told her.

Rukia took a bite. "Who said anything about Byakuya's money?"

"C'mon," Ichigo said. "We all know this is a ploy."

"I didn't spend a single yen of my brother's or grandfather's money," Rukia said loftily, now taking a sip of diet Coke. "I don't know _what_ you're talking about. I have my own money, y'know."

"Well, _I_ think Rukia is very sweet to treat us," Halibel said fondly. "Don't you think so, Grimmjow?"

"I sure do," Grimmjow said, but inside, he was fighting to not urge Rukia to also buy him a fancy new TV... and Metallica tickets... and a limited-edition Captain Kirk figurine he was dying for...

"You know," Rukia added, glancing at Halibel, "have you given more thought about your bridesmaids and... um... who the maid of honor's gonna be?" She gave an innocent smile that fooled exactly no one.

Ichigo grinned. "Going for the kill, I see."

Rukia swatted his upper arm.

Halibel set down her turkey club sandwich. "Well... I certainly want you, Bambietta, Orihime, Tatsuki, and even Nel as my bridesmaids. Plus Karin and Yuzu," she said, glancing up as she figured it out. "But I really don't know who the maid of honor should be. I'm not sure I even need one, actually."

"What!" Rukia bolted to her feet and slammed her open palms on the table. "You've gotta have one! Me!" She jabbed a thumb at her chest.

Ichigo gently tugged on Rukia's arm. "Honey, settle down. People are staring."

Rukia sat, still huffing like a bull.

Grimmjow squeezed Halibel's hand. "Hey, I understand if you need more time to decide."

"Thanks, sweetie." Halibel squeezed his hand back. "It's such a big decision! I'm just being careful -"

"Who wants dessert?" a new voice cried.

Grimmjow jumped in alarm when Nelliel showed up out of nowhere, ice cream cones in her hands. "What the...?" he blurted.

Nelliel smiled. "I'm so glad I ran into you guys! I had no idea you'd be here. Happy coincidence, huh?"

"Funny. We were _just_ discussing the maid of honor issue," Ichigo muttered.

Halibel pointed an accusing finger at Nel. "You overheard me talking on the phone. You knew we'd be here, didn't you?"

Nel made a wicked grin. "Yeah, and it was super obvious why Rukia invited you and Grimmy on a double date. Maid of honor? It should be me!" She gestured with her hands, and she promptly dropped all the ice cream cones.

"Not doing so hot," Ichigo commented. "What's the big deal, Nel? You're already the bride's roommate. Isn't that good enough?"

Rukia rounded on her boyfriend. "Are you nuts, carrot-head? Being your best friend's maid of honor... I'd go to any lengths!"

"Well, about that..." Halibel made an embarrassed smile as a mall employee cleaned up the ice cream. "You're all my best friends. I'm not sure what to do."

Nel patted the mall employee on the back. "Thanks, darling." Then she turned to Halibel. "I'm your roommate! I've seen you through thick and thin, missy! You owe me."

"I've known her longer!" Rukia butted in. "Since I was in high school. You only met her two years ago when she put out a 'roommate wanted' ad!"

Nel stuck out her tongue. "But I spend every day with her. We share a bathroom, and a kitchen, and confide our deepest screts to each other. Can _you_ match that?"

"Yeah, I can! Halibel and I are soul sisters! I'm the destined maid of honor!" Rukia declared loudly, and another mall patron shushed her.

Halibel rubbed her chin in thought. "Grimmjow, honey... how did _you_ choose your best man? Maybe I could use the same method."

Grimmjow shared an awkward look with Ichigo. "Actually, babe... I haven't chosen yet."

Nel made a face. "Are you serious, cat boy? You two are the worst at planning your wedding! No maid of honor _or_ best man?"

"Hey, I tried!" Grimmjow defended himself.

"Tried how?" Rukia pressed him.

Grimmjow shrugged. "We had a few beers, played rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock -"

Nel made an amused noise. "What the hell is _that_?"

"Hey. Language," Halibel told her roommate.

"Sorry." Nel cleared her throat. "What the heck is that game, Grimmjow?"

Grimmjow and Ichigo both chuckled. "It's the cool version of the old game," Grimmjow said, miming the new moves. "A venomous lizard eats paper and poisons Spock from _Star Trek_ , and Spock breaks scissors and vaporizes the rock with his phaser."

Rukia sighed. "Well, debate was getting us nowhere. Let's play, Nel! The maid of honor shall be decided here and now!"

"Fine. One, two, three, shoot!" Nel threw out scissors. Rukia... also threw out scissors.

Ichigo burst out laughing. "You tied, just like Uryu and I did."

"Fine! Go again!" Rukia cried. "One, two, three -"

"HOLD IT, LADIES!"

A new girl's voice rang out, and Bambietta came hurrying over, dragging an exhasperated Uryu along. Bambi panted for breath and pointed at Halibel. "Listen to me, missy! I have a horse in this race too, you know."

"You what?" Nel asked, frowning.

Bambi gestured impatiently. "I mean, I'm also competing for the maid of honor position! I've known Halibel longer than you, Nelliel!"

"That's the same argument I used," Rukia mentioned. "But it made no difference to her."

Bambi puffed up her chest, a determined look on her face. "Well, it totally counts!"

"But shouldn't there be other criteria?" Uryu asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Bambi, honey, we came all this way. Let's do this the right way."

Ichigo cocked his head. "How _did_ you guys know to come here?"

Bambi made a wicked grin just like Nel's. "Nelliel texted me about Rukia's double date plan. It's a race, you know. I deserve a chance."

"As do I." Uryu drew himself up to his full height. "Grimmjow, I implore you to nominate me as your best man. I will do an _exemplary_ job. And unlike Ichigo, I won't sneak Batman jokes into the wedding programs."

Ichigo winced. "Crap. How'd you know of my secret plan?"

Halibel patted Grimmjow's shoulder. "What do you say, honey? Ichigo or Uryu?"

"And what about us, Halibel?" Rukia demanded. "Me, your elegant and classy best friend, or the troublemaker Nel or wacko Bambi?"

"I know," Grimmjow offered. "Let's all go to Big Taki's Sports Goods and decide there."

Bambi made an exasperated noise. "Why?"

Once the seven of them got there, it was much easier to see why.

"The groom needs a workout to fit in his suit," Grimmjow said dramtically, ignoring the store associates who gave him funny looks. "Ichigo, Uryu, show me what you've got!"

So, both boys hurried off to find Grimmjow the perfect wedding present while the girls all gang up on him.

"You're enjoying this an awful lot, aren't you?" Nel said with a grin on her face.

"Didn't think you were a gold digger, cat boy," Bambi teased him.

"This is what happens when boys can't make their own decisions," Rukia commented.

Grimmjow backed up a step, his face warm. "Hey, c'mon! I don't want to hurt either of their feelings by choosing one. I'll let them prove who's better, that's all."

Soon enough, Ichigo and Uryu returned. "Look at this," Ichigo said proudly. "A high-end, mega-performance skateboard!"

"Or all this," Uryu countered. "A high-quality basketball, a jersey, and athletic sneakers, plus a heart rate monitor."

Ichigo scowled. "You got _four_ things?!"

"Grimmjow didn't limit us to just one item," Uryu pointed out.

"Yeah! You're way smarter than him, sweetie!" Bambi cheered for her boyfriend. "Grimmjow, choose Uryu! Get this over with so we can plan the wedding."

"Well..." Grimmjow had his hands on his hips. "Uryu brought a lot of stuff, but that _is_ a sweet skateboard..."

"Yes! Exactly!" Rukia cried. "Make Ichigo your best man. He'll do a great job!"

Grimmjow felt himself break into a sweat as he weighed both options, and saw the hopeful looks on his friends' faces. He held his breath for a moment, then let it out in a sigh. "Both."

"Huh?" Nel blinked. "That's greedy, Grimmjow! Trying to get all those presents?"

"Not the gifts." Grimmjow motioned at the items his friends had brought. "You guys don't have to buy me anything. I thought this would help me decide, and it did." He spread his arms wide. "Ichigo, Uryu, congrats. You're my co-best men."

The girls stared. Then Rukia broke the silence. "That's cheating!" she cried. "It should be Ichigo alone."

Bambi gave Rukia a shove. "Uryu's better, and smarter, _and_ better looking, _and_ probably better in the bedroom -"

"Okay, everyone clear out!" an annoyed sales associate said, towering over everyone. "You're making noise and didn't even buy anything! Make room for the other customers."

Ichigo and Uryu dropped their stuff and jogged out of the sporting goods store with everyone else.

"So, splitting the difference?" Halibel asked her boyfriend with a smile. "That's very nice of you." She turned to Ichigo and Uryu. "You boys will both do a good job, won't you?"

"I call wedding programs!" Ichigo cried, raising hand. "I'll write them all."

Bambi kicked his shin. "No!"

Ichigo winced. "Hey, I called it!"

"Then _I_ will be in charge of decorations," Uryu declared, his eyesglasses glinting. "And I'll do the best job, and prove myself the better best man."

"Like hell," Ichigo argued, rubbing his sore shin.

Bambi gasped. "If the best man issue is resolved, it's time for the maid of honor. Halibel! Choose me!"

Halibel clasped her hands at her navel. "Well, I was thinking..."

Rukia's eyes spat sparks. "You'd better not suggest a four-way split!"

"I wasn't," Halibel assured her.

Bambi pouted. "If you choose Nel over me, I swear I'll -"

"Run off with your tail between your legs?" Nel teased her.

Bambi stamped a foot. "Like hell!"

The seven of them set off again, browsing different stores as the four girls debated who would land the sweet gig of maid of honor. Things got so heated in the Bath and Body Works that Bambietta accidentally ran into another young woman from behind.

"Whoops! Sorry," Bambi said breathlessly. "Didn't see you there."

The young woman turned around and smiled. "It's all right. And it's nice to see you all again."

Grimmjow stared. "Wait... you're Momo Hinamori! I had no idea you were in town!"

Momo waved hello. "Well, here I am." Like usual, she wore a dark pant-suit and flats, plus a pearl necklace, and her hair was in its usual bun.

Rukia made an excited squeal and clapped her hands together. "If you're here, Momo, then that means -!"

"Hello again, everyone," came a man's smooth voice. Clad in his usual white suit and a blue button-up shirt, Sosuke Aizen stepped into the shop. A few of the other ladies turned to look with interest.

Grimmjow clasped Halibel's hand in his. "Hey there, Mr. Aizen. You remember us? We used to write 'youth poetry' for your magazine, remember?"

"It's lovely to see you again, Mr. Aizen," Halibel said brightly.  
"And you, miss Tier," Sosuke said. "And you, Mr. Jaegerjaques. And Mr. Kurosaki, miss Kuchiki, Mr. Ishida, and miss Basterbine. And... who might you be, young lady?" He motioned to Nel.

"I'm Nelliel Odelschwank," Nel said, shaking Sosuke's hand way too hard. "I'm Halibel's roommate! She's trying to pick a maid of honor, but I totally think it should be me."

"Maid of honor?" Momo repeated, her eyes wide. "Halibel, does that mean...?"

Halibel smiled and held out her left hand to show off her engagement ring. "I just got engaged. I'm very excited! But there's a lot of work to do, and we have to have the wedding done by mid-September, when Grimmjow goes back out of town for college."

"I see, I see," Sosuke said, chuckling politely. "Well, _The Yin of the Pine Needle_ has an all-time high in its readership here in Karakura Town, and this could be a nice bonus."

Grimmjow blinked. "What d'you mean?"

"I mean," Sosuke said, "a wedding is a wonderful thing. Let Momo and I help you kids out. What do you say?"

For once, the seven friends agreed when they all cried "YES!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 8: Sosuke Aizen Joins the Planner Team (while schemers plot in the shadows!)**

"Oh my goodness. I didn't think _all_ of you would arrive at the same time," Sosuke Aizen said with polite alarm when eight twenty-somethings crowded around him at a trendy outdoor cafe in Karakura Town's downtown one afternoon, a few days after the mall trip.

"We were supposed to interview you in pairs," Momo said with a polite smile. "With the bride and groom going first."

Grimmjow winced. "Well, uh... let's say that Halibel and I have some really dedicated friends."

Of _course_ his hyena-like friends had butted in to his and Halibel's time slot with Mr. Aizen! Momo had called him and Halibel to arrange a half-hour interview here, but somehow, Ichigo, Rukia, Uryu, Bambietta, Nelliel, and Orihime swooped down like vultures to join him (he was running out of animal similes at this rate).

Mr. Aizen waved over a waitress. "Well, I suppose this arrangement is more... hmmmm, efficient?"

"I'll tell you all you gotta know, Mr. Aizen, sir," Bambi volunteered, puffing out her chest. "I'm the expert, you see."

Nel elbowed her. "I'm the bride's roommate. I know best!"

"As if!" Bambi shot back.

Momo hung her head. "More efficient, my foot..." she muttered.

Grimmjow dragged over another small round table next to Aizen's, brought over some chairs, and everyone was seated among the two tables.

"Well, now, what a group we have here," Aizen said fondly, smoothing his cream-colored suit. His glasses glinted in the afternoon sun. "Grimmjow, you were right. These _do_ seem like some dedicated friends." He glanced at Momo. "Notes, please."

"Yes, Mr. Aizen." Momo got out a legal pad and clicked the end of her pen, preparing to write.

Aizen leaned forward slightly in his seat. "Now, Grimmjow... what started it all? How did you decide that miss Halibel Tier was the girl to marry?"

Orihime, Bambi, Rukia, and Nelliel all giggled behind Grimmjow's back as the blue-haired boy went red. "Um, uh..." Grimmjow started, trying to ignore the loud giggling.

"Come on, tell him," Orihime urged Grimmjow. "Tell him everything!" And she giggled even louder behind her hand.

"I..." Grimmjow glanced at his bride-to-be, and felt heartened when she gave him a small nod. "It's simple: she helped me out."

"Helped you? How so?" Aizen urged him.

Grimmjow sat up straighter. "She's been my friend for a long time. And she understands me better than I do myself. Being with her helped me realize my true passion: caring for animals. When I was on a date with her a few years back, I found and adopted a calico cat, and I named it Pantera. And now, I'm studying to be a veterinarian, all thanks to Halibel believing in me."

Bambi sighed with delight, a hand over her heart. "It's more romantic every time I hear it," she said.

Uryu made a confused look. "But don't you tease him constantly behind his back?"

Bambi flinched. "N-no I don't! Jeez!"

"What about your running joke that he'll be an old man with fifty cats for friends?" Rukia sniped.

"Th-that wasn't -" Bambi spluttered. "Uryu, say something!"

"She's only teasing," Uryu told Rukia and Orihime. "It's nothing."

Aizen rubbed his chin in thought. "Miss Basterbine, is teasing your way of showing your support? Is it more a comment on you than Grimmjow's career choice?"

Halibel gave Bambietta a demanding look as Bambi flushed. "Um... yes...?" Bambi squeaked.

"Delightful," Aizen said as Momo scribbled more notes. "Such a lively and genuine group dynamic! Miss Kuchiki, would you say the same of yourself?"

Ichigo answered first. "She likes to say that Grimmjow should man up and get a bulldog."

Rukia gave her boyfriend a gentle shove. "I only said that once! When I was tipsy on sake at your dad's half-birthday party. I swear!"

"Half-birthday?" Momo repeated, confused.

Ichigo sighed. "My dad does that thing where you figure out the halfway point between your birthdays and celebrate it. He's got to be the only person on planet Earth who still does it."

"And dogs don't like me," Grimmjow put in.

Everyone stared at him. "What?" Orihime cried. "How can they not?"

Grimmjow shrugged. "I have an off-campus friend who has this big Siberian husky that keeps pestering me and yipping at me. And I swear, every Pomeranian or Papillon I see goes in a frenzy when they set their sights on me."

"They can sense that Pantera is your spirit animal," Bambi teased him, patting his shoulder.

Aizen nodded. "Pantera the cat. Grimmjow, did you name her after the Spanish word for 'panther'?"

"Well..." Grimmjow faltered.

Halibel smiled and clasped Grimmjow's hand in hers. "He named her after his favorite rock band. Pantera."

Aizen blinked. "Is it a coincidence, then?"

"Uh... yeah," Grimmjow admitted.

"Wonderful, wonderful," Aizen said. "Let's change tack. Miss Tier, what attracted you to your future fiance?"

"Where do I even start?" Halibel shared a fond glance with Grimmjow. "I suppose I fell for him because of his passion, and for his honesty, and how he's such a good friend to me. He was so easy to get along with even when I first met him, and everyone else liked him, too. He's got that magnetic charm."

"Funny, no one ever said that about me," Ichigo muttered.

Rukia patted Ichigo's head. "Your time will come, honey. Once you stop scowling so much. And have a better attitude..."

"Thanks, Rukia," Ichigo said, going pink. "I'll, uh... work on that. Or something."

"But really," Halibel added, "if you want a sound bite, Mr. Aizen, all I can say is that I can't imagine my life without Grimmjow by my side. Thinking about him, or being with him, or hearing his voice on the phone always brightens my day."

Rukia held her face in her hands. "That's the most wonderful thing I ever heard! Halibel, I know exactly what you mean."

"Thank you," Halibel said with another smile as Momo wrote it all down.

Rukia nodded. "You're welcome. Now, you can see why I'm the best candidate for maid of honor."

Nelliel bolted to her feet. "No way. I'm standing right here!"

"What about it?" Rukia shot back.

Nel pointed at her heart. "How many times do I have to pound it into your thick skull, Rukia?! There's no way Halibel won't choose me. I'm ideal!"

"You really wanna do this? Do you?" Bambi fired back, also rising to her feet, eyes spitting sparks. "Halibel will definitely choose me!"

"Bambi, honey, you're making a scene," Uryu urged his girlfriend, tugging on her arm. "Please don't..."

"Sorry, Uryu. But I have to take what's mine," Bambi told him.

"Mine," Rukia insisted.

"Mr. Aizen!" Nel cried. "Have Momo write this down: Nelliel Tu Odelschwank is the best maid of honor candidate."

Rukia and Bambi instantly shouted her down, until Momo bolted to her feet, face red. "Cut it out!" she roared. "This is supposed to be a polite interview for Mr. Aizen's magazine! What does it say about trendy urban marriages if you all keep fighting?!"

Nel, Rukia, and Bambi stared at Momo in shock. "I didn't know you were so scary," Rukia admitted, trembling.

"Me either," Bambi squeaked.

"Or me," Nel admitted.

Orihime gently forced her friends back into their seats. "Halibel will decide when she's ready. There's sitll time until the wedding."

"But what about the bridal shower?" Rukia pointed out. "The maid of honor should organize and host it. So, we need the maid of honor chosen ASAP!"

"And don't forget the bachelorette party!" Bambi added with a wide grin, holding up a finger. "Only the maid of honor can hire the hunkiest male strippe -"

"The point is," Halibel said, raising her voice, "that my and Grimmjow's wedding will be a small, intimate affair with friends and family being the most important thing, not a massive venue or costly extras. It's about my fiance and I starting our life together, nothing more." She nodded to Grimmjow, who nodded back.

Aizen clapped his hands together. "And there's the headline! Excellent, miss Tier. Based on what I've seen today, you're absolutely right: with your friends so eager to be your maid of honor, and everyone knowing each other so well, this is the most authentic and intimate wedding group I have ever seen. I simply must cover the entire process in _The Yin of the Pine Needle_. For my first feature, I shall introduce my readers to the concept, and highlight the passionate friendships that drive this whole project. I humbly request photographs of you all, in pairs and alone, if you are so inclined."

Grimmjow squeezed his fiancee's hand in his, savoring her warm, soft skin. "Sounds okay to me."

Everyone else was on board, so Aizen had Momo fetch his camera from his bag and she took shots of everyone by themselves, then the couples. Unsurprisingly, Momo took at least a dozen shots of Grimmjow and Halibel together in different poses, and just one for Uryu and Bambi (probably because Bambi kept pestering Momo to make them look better than the bride and groom). And in Nelliel's solo shot, Grimmjow swore he saw the same cunning gleam in her eyes as when the topic of the maid of honor came up.

She would chill Aizen's readers to the bone!

"I believe that shall be all for today," Mr. Aizen said, once Momo put away the camera. "I have enough material for my first feature. Next Wednesday, perhaps I will interview you all on your choice of venue and the guest list. If you wish, I could even help you find a venue. I can think of a few ideal places already."

Halibel nodded. "Yes, thank you, Mr. Aizen. I look forward to it."

"Me too," Grimmjow added.

"Excellent," Aizen said, and he nodded to Momo. "I must head back to my office here in Karakura Town at once. Lots to do. Have a good evening!" He and Momo went to the curb to hail a taxi.

Grimmjow kissed his fiancee's cheek. "This wedding stuff gets more fun every day, doesn't it?"

"I'm looking forward to it more than ever," Halibel agreed. She fondly ran a hand through Grimmjow's hair and smiled. "I can still hardly believe it... you're going to be my husband in a few weeks!"

"That's right," Bambietta added slyly. "Which is why you need me as your maid of -"

Uryu cleared his throat and steered his girlfriend to the nearest bus stop. "Not so fast. We still have that dinner party with my family. I don't want to keep my father waiting."

"But that's not for three hours!" Bambi protested.

"We need... lots of time to help set it up," Uryu said vaguely, walking Bambi to the chosen bus stop. He looked over his shoulder and mouthed _You're welcome!_

Nel toyed with her skirt's hem. "So, Halibel... with her out of the picture, how about I -"

"Grimmjow and I will see you all _later_ ," Halibel said firmly, and Nel, Orihime, Rukia, and Ichigo took the hint and scattered.

"And you," Halibel told Grimmjow, "are going back home to my place tonight." She ran a hand down his cheek. "I insist."

Grimmjow grinned. "Lead the way, babe."

*o*o*o*o*

Ichigo covered his ears when he finished telling the story to Mr. Urahara at the shop the next morning. He was just in time: Kisuke made an outraged noise that would surely be heard in Okinawa.

"That uppity jerk Mr. Aizen is taking over?" Kisuke cried, wandering around in circles, gesturing dramatically like he was in a Shakespeare production. "Him? It's like he's spitting in my face!"

Ichigo scowled as he kept sweeping with his broom. "What, just because he made _one_ comment about your business?"

"He called Urahara Shoten 'rustic'!" Kisuke groaned. "You know what that really means, don't you? People like him say 'rustic' for poor, shabby little town shops with no future. Wake up, Ichigo. He totally looks down on me!"

Ichigo sighed. "There's no talking to you, is there, boss?"

"Mr. Aizen thinks I'm obscure and poor," Kisuke raged, only listening to himself (and therefore proving Ichigo's last point). "Well, I know this town like the back of my foot -"

"Hand," Ichigo corrected.

"Hand," Kisuke said impatiently. "Sure. But I _live_ here! And work here! And everyone is my friend. From Isshin's clinic to Ryuken's hospital to Yoruichi's hideouts, this is my homeland. Aizen just pops in when it's convenient. Bah!"

Ichigo cocked his head. "What's your point, boss?"

Kisuke busted out his fan and held it to his mouth. "That I'm the best man for the job," he said cheerily. "I'm sure you see it too, Ichigo. I mean, I hired Grimmjow a few years back, and you're still here now! I know you boys. And Halibel and Rukia and Bambietta are like nieces to me. Aizen just sees you all as story material. You're family to me."

 _I have enough crazy family members as it is,_ Ichigo thought. He forced a polite smile. "You want to edge out Mr. Aizen and help plan the wedding?"

"I sure will!" Kisuke said. "And I understand that Rukia wants the maid of honor position? I'll make sure she gets it, Ichigo. Somehow, some way! Together, we'll make this the best wedding ever."

"Will you cater?"

"I'll cater anything!" Kisuke cried. "Don't you underestimate me, Ichigo! I'll provide whatever the bride and groom need. An intimate, budget-friendly wedding? I'll deliver it!"

Ichigo hesitated, then grinned and got out his phone. "Give me a sec." He typed in: _Rukia, Mr. Urahara says he'll help plan the wedding and convince Grimmjow and Halibel to make you the maid of honor._

A minute later... _**From: Rukia.**_ _What?! That's amazing! But what does he want in return?_

Ichigo explained Kisuke's petty but convenient personal grudge against Sosuke Aizen.

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _LOL! Kisuke sure is one to make things personal. Okay, let's work with him and form our own wedding planner team! Big brother Byakuya and grandfather Ginrei can help, too. And your dad._

Ichigo jolted. _My dad?_ he typed. _We have enough insanity as it is!_

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _Fine, your sisters, then. Bambi and Nelliel won't stand a chance now!_

Was this going too far? Ichigo wondered. No... of course not! He typed his last message. _See you later, honey. I love you!_

*o*o*o*o*

The next day, Nelliel opened her front door as soon as she heard Bambietta knocking. "There you are," she said, stepping back to let Bambi in.

"Hey, I'm not late," Bambi defended herself, changing out of her leather sandals and into house shoes.

Nel shut the door. "Yeah, well, when so much is on the line, I get impatient. Here." She handed Bambi a mug of hot tea and sat next to her on the living room couch.

"So, you've got a good plan?" Bambi asked, taking a sip.

"Just one," Nelliel said gleefully. "That Rukia... she thinks she's some princess or something! But not after we knock her out of the running... with my bridal shower plan!"

Bambi stared in awe. "Whoa, that's gutsy, even for you."

Nel held up a finger for emphasis. "Rukia is probably Halibel's favorite for the maid of honor position. We can't let her win!"

"Yeah! We gotta teach her a lesson!" Bambi said, thumping a fist on her thigh.

"So," Nel continued with a wicked grin, "we throw Nel a surprise bridal shower here in our apartment sometime in the next few days, and we make sure Rukia doesn't know about it. Halibel will be so impressed, she'll have to choose one of us as maid of honor."

"So, a duel for the position?" Bambi asked.

Nel nodded. "Better one of us than that Kuchiki princess. Whoever loses can be the winner's second-in-command. Deal?" She offered a hand.

Bambi grinned and shook Nel's hand. "Okay, deal. So, I'm guessing we make it a surprise party, so Halibel doesn't invite Rukia over?"

"You read my mind," Nel said, her grin widening. "We can split the job of buying and putting up decorations, and buy some gifts, too. I'll tell Orihime, Tatsuki, Chizuru, Karin, Yuzu, and Halibel's mom to buy their own presents and be here just in time for the surprise. And I'll lie and tell them that Rukia was already invited, so they won't try to invite her themselves."

Bambi nodded. "And when Rukia doesn't show up, you could pretend to get a text or voicemail from Rukia where she apologizes for not showing up since she had an appointment."

Nel threw out her arms and hugged her friend. "I knew I could count on you, Bambi."

Bambietta hugged her back. "I can't wait."


	9. Chapter 9

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 9: Fun and Games at the Bridal Shower (and yes, even the R-rated stuff!)**

"Hi! You're Halibel's mom, right? Welcome," Nelliel said politely as she opened her apartment's front door yet again, a smile on her face.

Miza Tier, who had a wrapped gift under her arm, gave the younger woman a bracing smile. "Yes, I'm her mom. We've met a few times before, you know."

Nel's face warmed. "Sorry. I'm just... nervous, I guess? I just want the bridal shower to go well."

Miza nodded and stepped inside. "You and Bambietta are such kind girls to do this for my Halibel."

Nel saluted. "Anything for the bride!"

Mrs. Tier wasn't alone; already, Karin and Yuzu had shown up, plus Tatsuki and Orihime, and even Chizuru had deigned to join in. All the girls wore comfortable sun dresses to the party, giving the place a festive air. Not to mention the pile of wrapped gifts on the coffee table, and the pink and white balloons and streamers!

Heck of a party!

"Okay, I think that's everyone," Nelliel announced, giving Bambi a nod. "Bambi, if you don't mind?"

"Here. I think this sake is fancy, or something," Bambi said as she poured everyone a glass. "Drink up!"

"To the bride!" Yuzu cried, raising her glass of sparkling grape juice. "And her future! And happiness! And... all those things!"

Everyone had a good chuckle as they drank. "You have such a way with words, Yuzu," Karin teased her sister.

Yuzu pouted. "Whatever."

Bambietta played trendy music on a low volume on the sound system as she motioned to the gift pile. "So, Halibel... why not get started? I bet there's some really good stuff in there!"

Halibel, who sat in the middle of the biggest couch, smiled and reached for the nearest gift. "Good point! Okay, this one is from Yuzu..."

She unwrapped it, and inside was a cardboard box with two white decorative pillows. One had "Mrs. Halibel Jaegerjaques" sewn into it in fancy characters, and the other had "Mr. Grimmjow Jaegerjaques" on it. Plus pink lace trim on Halibel's and dark blue lace on Grimmjow's.

Halibel hugged her pillow. "These are wonderful, Yuzu! Thank you! Did you sew these yourself?"

"I sure did," Yuzu said bashfully. "You can buy blank template pillows and sew anything you want onto them. I even put the trim on myself. Though it took a while to decide on the right hue for Grimmjow's. I hope he likes it."

"I'm sure he will," Halibel said, toying with the trim on Grimmjow's pillow. She set both pillows aside and took another box in shiny silver wrappings. "Here's one from Tatsuki."

She opened it to find two thick and comfy-looking bath robes, one of them pale blue with the name "Halibel" written in cursive Roman letters, the other deep red with "Grimmjow" sewn into it.

Halibel giggled. "All our new stuff has convenient names on it. Thanks, Tatsuki. Oh my goodness, this feels so soft." She rubbed her robe's sleeve fabric between her fingers.

"There's something else in there," Tatsuki told her. "Check it out."

"Oh?" Halibel dug into the wrapping and found a gift card. "This is a six-month membership to that dojo downtown. Thank you, Tatsuki."

Orihime cocked her head. "Dojos make gift cards?"  
"Hey, I offered you one," Tatsuki reminded her.

Orihime shrugged with a silly smile. "Guess I forgot!"

Nel nodded to herself as Halibel unwrapped her third gift. _So far, so good. At this rate, Halibel will have no choice but to choose Bambi or me for maid of honor! And Rukia... she can eat our dust!_

Bambi caught Nel's eye and nodded. She was definitely thinking the same thing. The scheme was going perfectly!

"This one's from mom," Halibel said, unwrapping Miza's large gift box. She opened up the lid. "Oh! Lots of cooking stuff. Western silverware sets, crystal glasses, mixing and baking stuff, oven mitts... these are wonderful, mom!"

"I just hope Grimmjow does some cooking with it, too," Miza said with a teasing smile. "You're not doing _all_ the work in your relationship, are you?"

"No, mom," Halibel said, rolling her eyes. "Grimmjow's really cool. Before he moved out for grad school, he would bake all kinds of stuff with me. _After_ we took a few cooking classes," she added with a giggle. "Our first few forays into cuisine didn't work out so well."

Miza patted her daughter's head. "I'm just glad you found yourself such a good fellow."

Nel elbowed Bambi and whispered in her ear. "Even Halibel's mom is a witness to our success! We've got this maid of honor thing in the bag."

Bambi grinned wickedly. "Hell yeah."

Halibel made her way through the rest of the gifts, including a set of expensive photo frames and a cook book from Orihime, Nel's gift basket from Bath and Body Works, an alarm clock radio from Karin, and Bambi's gift of a porcelain flower vase painted with koi fish patterns. From there, Nel and Bambi led the party with a few games, starting with what Bambi called "The Couple's Roast."

"What the heck is _that_?" Tatsuki asked.

Bambi put her hands on her hips. "It's a fun game, Tatsuki. You really don't know it?"

Tatsuki motioned impatiently. "Whatever. How do you play it, anyway?"

"Oh, it's awesome," Bambietta said with relish. "We all split into two-person teams and act out scenarios of the bride and groom. Then we all judge who did the best job!"

"Is there a prize?" Karin asked eagerly.

"Um..." Bambi rifled through her purse and set a 1,000-yen note on the coffee table. "There."

Karin sighed. "10,000 would have been more motivation."

Yuzu elbowed her sister. "This is about the bride and groom, not getting rich," she said indignantly.

Bambi clapped her hands together. "So! Nel and I are a team. Yuzu, you're with Karin. Then Orihime and Chizuru, and Tatsuki and Mrs. Tier. Halibel, you can be head judge."

Halibel gave thumbs-up. "I'm ready!"

"Okay, everyone," Nel announced. "The first scenario is: trying to decide what to buy for dinner. Chizuru and Orihime, you go first."

Everyone else made room for both girls to stand and get in character. "I call Grimmjow!" Chizuru said, raising a hand. "Orihime, you can be Halibel."

"All righty." Orihime cleared her throat. "Grimmjow, darling, I _insist_ that we try making rice balls with ketchup and hot peppers. They'll be perfect!"

Chizuru lowered her voice to Grimmjow's. "Whatever you like, honey bear. Gosh, I love you _this_ much!" Then she took Orihime's head in her hands and kissed the other girl right on the lips.

Everyone gasped. "That's cheating!" Karin cried, pointing.

Chizuru broke away from Orihime. "Is not."

"No one else has the guts to do that," Karin argued.

Chizuru stuck out her tongue. "How can anyone see Orihime's adorable face and not want to -"

"Next!" Bambi cried.

This time, Miza Tier and Tatsuki took their turn, and they acted out the characters perfectly. But...

"There was no passion or zing in that performance," Bambi said, taking center stage with Nel. "Watch this. I'll be Grimmjow."

Nel cleared her throat. "Grimmjow, you silly lug, we can't have McDonald's every night. We have to eat healthy once in a while or you'll die!"

Bambi, like Chizuru, lowered her voice. "But I don't like salads," she said with exaggerated body language. "A bro like me needs steak and Jack Daniels! Where's a good barbecue place around here, huh?" She pretended to shield her eyes from the sun as she looked around, and everyone else giggled.

"But honey, salads aren't just for girls!" Nel said. "You've gotta have one. Please?"

Bambi pouted in-character. "Fine. But we eat them in my limited-edition Batman pattern bowls! And we still get the Jack Daniels!"

Nel sighed as Halibel. "You're such a stubborn clod, Grimmy."

"That's because I know what I like," Bambietta said as Grimmjow. At that moment, she got a funny spark in her eyes, and pinned Nel erotically to the wall, pressing herself against the other girl. Then she kissed Nel, just Chizuru had done Orihime!  
"Wh-what the hell!" Nel cried, red in the face.

"We have to catch up to Chizuru's amazing performance," Bambi panted. "Catch up! Grab my butt or something!"

So Nel went ahead and did it, clapping Bambi's rump in one hand. "I sure love my man's hunky body!" Nel said, trying to ignore all the laughing.

"Bambi and Nel win!" Halibel cried. "Best performance!"

Yuzu stared at her. "What, really?!"

Halibel went pink. "Yuzu, you don't seem to realize what really happens behind closed doors." She glanced at Mrs. Tier. "Sorry, mom."

Miza made an amused face. "Whatever makes you happy, darling."

"Hey, I got my money back," Bambietta said, taking the 1,000 yen note. "Next, we should play -"

"Two Truths and a Lie," Halibel announced. "I'll say three things about Grimmjow and me: two true, one wrong. Points go to whoever gueses the wrong one each time."

Karin narrowed her eyes. "Will there be a 10,000 yen prize?"

Halibel shook her head. "No, the winner gets to choose the outfits for all the bridesmaids."

A stunned silence fell.

"Here we go!" Halibel cried happily. "The first time Grimmjow saw me, I didn't even get a chance to say hi to him. Grimmjow and I found Pantera after he and I were going to a ramen bar for a date. Grimmjow's favorite band is Metallica."

"Oh! Oh!" Tatsuki raised her hand. "Third one was wrong! Grimmjow's favorite band is Slayer!"

"That's wrong, too!" Bambi cried. "His favorite band is Pantera. I mean, that's how he named his cat!"

Halibel smiled. "I'll give each of you one point." Then she glanced up in thought. "The first time Grimmjow and I kissed, I fell asleep two minutes later. On our fifth date, Grimmjow nearly choked on a bone in his chicken wings. I once touched an orca whale with my bare hands."

The girls thought hard about this one. Nel was the first to speak up. "The whale one is wrong," she said tentatively.

"No, sorry." Halibel shook her head. "This animal trainer let me touch its back. It was all slimy, but cool."

"The sleep after kissing story was wrong," Yuzu offered.

"That one is also true," Halibel said with a smile. "The _second_ story was false."

Karin stared. "Seriously? You _fell asleep_ after your first kiss with him? Was he that bad?"

The other girls giggled.

Halibel sputtered. "N-no, he was fine! I was just tired because we had just come back from a live concert, that's all."

"I still say he was just bad," Karin muttered.

Chizuru stood. "Make the stories more personal and dirty," she demanded. "Make this game fun!"

Miza Tier scowled. "Don't be inappropriate."

"Mom, it's okay," Halibel said. "We're all friends here." She took a deep breath. "We both watched a porno video together on our seventh date just to see who would chicken out first. We got drunk once and made out on a park bench in the middle of the day. And Grimmjow once gave me his own body as my 20th birthday present. He was nude except for a little red bow wrapped around a... certain place."

Mrs. Tier plugged her ears. "I don't think I want to know the answer to this one."

Orihime sprang to her feet, hand raised in triumph. "Oh! Oh! The first one was false, because you think porno movies are indecent!"

Halibel smiled. "Wrong. And for the record, they can be fun to watch sometimes."

Tatsuki pointed at Halibel. "I'm on to you. The third one was false! No way would cat boy do something like that."

Halibel shook her head. "Wrong again. It was the best birthday present a girl could ask for!"

Nel felt her face warm. She elbowed Bambi. "Please tell me Uryu has that kind of creativity, too..."

Bambi sighed. "I wish."

"Another round!" Chizuru cheered.

So they played some more, and Mrs. Tier kept plugging her ears. Finally, Orihime got enough points to win, giving her the honor of choosing the bridesmaids' outfits. "We will all look wonderful," she said happily, clapping her hands together.

"I look forward to it," Halibel said kindly.

After a few more games, where way too much personal info was given out, Nel and Bambi wrapped up the party in the early evening, and thanked everyone for showing up. When everyone cleared out, Nel shut the door and turned to Halibel. "Whoa. Great party, huh? Bambi and I know how to keep things fun, don't we? Don't we?"

Halibel embraced her roommate. "Thank you so much! You and Bambi made this a very special day. I'm excited more than ever for my wedding. Best roommmate ever."

Nel nodded. "That's great. So, does it give you any other ideas? Something you've been trying to figure out?"

"Like what?" Halibel shrugged, then gave her roommate a gentle shove on the shoulder. "I'm close to deciding who will be my maid of honor. Just be patient, okay?"

"Sure, sure." Nel helped clean up the living room, but her hopes for the maid of honor position were far from dashed. She and Bambi were so close...!

*o*o*o*o*

Later that evening, though, Nel was halfway through watching a cat compilation video on her laptop when her cell phone ring. She jumped in alarm, then answered the call. "Hi, Rukia. What's up?"

"Good news," Rukia's voice answered. "Mr. Urahara is gonna help us set up a lot of wedding stuff! But he wants your and Bambi's help to figure things out. Come meet us at Urahara Shoten. Oh, and I already called Bambi about this. Just get your butt over here ASAP."

"You got it. Bye." Nelp hung up and got her purse. "See you later," she told Halibel. "I've gotta see Mr. Urahara. For wedding business."

Halibel, who was busy browsing the cook book Orihime had given her, nodded. "Okay. Have a good time."

Nel took a cab downtown to Urahara Shoten and met Bambietta, Rukia, and Mr. Urahara inside. Even Ichigo was there.

"Hey, all," Nel said brightly. "I came as fast as I could."

"Yeah. You sure did," Rukia said, arms crossed, a vicious look on her face. "I actually _invited_ you, because you're my friend. It's the right thing to do."

Nel made a face. "What the heck? Is there a problem, Rukia?"

Rukia held up her phone, her violet eyes spitting flame. "Yes, Bambi, Nelliel, there's a problem, you scheming traitors! Orihime texted me earlier, wishing I had attended the bridal shower you two organized!"

Nel backed away, half-hiding behind Bambietta for cover. "Wh-what?"

"We thought you were busy," Bambi said, but she didn't convince anyone.

 _Maybe our plan had a few holes in it,_ Nelliel realized too late.

"I know a scheme when I see one!" Rukia roared. "You both hosted the party without me so Halibel would be impressed, and choose one of you for her maid of honor! Orihime thought I was at a business meeting today. But I was free all day! I could have come!"

Nel winced. "W-well... you're so beautiful, Rukia, you would have stolen the scene from the bride-to-be. It would have been inappropriate... I think..."

Again, Rukia was not convinced. "Admit it! This was a ploy!"

Bambi sighed. "Okay, okay! We just wanted to get ahead, all right? We were sure Halibel would choose you! We wanted a fair shot."

"What's so fair about leaving me out?" Rukia snapped. "I haven't even bought a bridal gift. But I would have earlier today, if I actually knew that the bridal shower was today!"

"Well, buy one now," Bambi said casually.

"Not so fast," Rukia demanded. "Halibel doesn't know about this. But she will if you scheming hags don't help Mr. Urahara with all his hard work over the next weel. _And_ you had better not do any more schemes. Or the truth comes out! And if that happens, you both will lose Halibel's trust forever!"

Bambi scoffed. "I bet you're bluffing."

Ichigo held up his phone. "I've been recording," he said. "I've got it all here. I'll delete it _after_ Rukia decides you've both paid the price."

Nel whimpered. "But..."

Rukia pointed at Bambi and Nel with a sly grin. "You girls should have known better than to cross a Kuchiki! Don't you ever learn?"

Bambi hung her head. "Well played."

"In fact, Ichigo and I are taking Halibel and Grimmjow on a double date out of town later this week," Rukia said, taking hold of Ichigo's hand. "Bambi, Nel, you'd better stay out of the way, or that recording finds its way to Halibel's ears."

"We promise," Nel said meekly.

Kisuke clapped his hands together. "Wonderful! So, it's all settled. Bambietta, Nelliel. get your aprons and work gloves on. My inventory room looks like a typhon hit it! Lots of sorting and catalogue work to do. We'll be here 'till midnight, I bet!"

Nel humbly accepted the apron and gloves that Kisuke gave her. Tonight definitely took a turn for the worse!


	10. Chapter 10

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 10: A Quick Vacation From It All (then right back in again. Typical!)**

Grimmjow had heard of the quaint, old-fashioned town Nakafuma, which lay near Karakura Town, but he'd never been there before... until Rukia sent a group text to him and Halibel, insisting that the three of them, plus Ichigo, simply _must_ take a weekend trip there! So, Grimmjow packed his bags, said goodbye to Pantera the cat, and rode a bus with his three friends to Nakafuma.

"Can we stop for a break?" Ichigo asked for the third time as the four friends continued their hike in the gorgeous wilderness around Nakafuma, which included a lot of forested hills. He wiped his brow. "I'm beat."

Rukia took a drink from her water bottle and grinned. "You're kidding, right? Your legs are a mile long. If I can handle it, so can you."

"Crap. You got me there." Ichigo took a bite of his power bar and pointed at the hilltop, past the trees. "Hey, another shrine. Wanna take a look?"

This area was nothing _but_ little Shinto shrines and other tourist attractions, but really, it was kind of fun. Grimmjow held Halibel's hand in his and led her and the others to the shrine. Up close, Grimmjow had to kneel to read the characters carved on the wood.

"It's a minor kami of good fortune for travelers and merchants," Grimmjow said. He gave the thumbs-up. "I could always use some good luck. How about you guys?"

So, he clapped his hands together in prayer, wishing for his success in college so he could become a fantastic veterinarian, and prayed for his dad, Takeshi, to also have good fortune. Everyone else took a turn, too, and Rukia muttered her prayer loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Noble kami, please grant me good fortune in the coming weeks, and may my efforts yield success for myself and my best friend, even in the face of adversity from others. True happiness is all I ask for." She stood. "Okay, all done!"

"Gee," Ichigo commented. "It's like you were praying for the maid of honor position - argh!"

Rukia kicked his shin, a well-practiced move by now. "Silly," she said with false innocence. "I'd never do such a thing! I just wanted good luck for, uh... my grandfather. Totally."

"Well, _I_ think you were very sweet, Rukia, whoever you were praying for," Halibel said fondly.

Rukia pointed. "See, Ichigo? At least Halibel gets me."

Ichigo threw up his hands. "I'm not the bad guy here! Jeez!"

They set off again, and Rukia adopted a lofty tone. "I just brought our friends here because I missed the bridal shower," she said. "I think we could all use some peace and quiet together, don't you? Who are you to blame me?"

"I wasn't!" Ichigo cried.

"Oh yeah?"

They went back and forth in good humor until the small gang got back in town, where the late afternoon crowds made things a bit cramped in the narrow roads. And with all the tall trees around here, it was already dark enough for the locals to light paper lanterns all over town. Grimmjow could smell all kinds of restaurants preparing everyone's dinners, and his stomach rumbled. "Can we put the maid of honor argument aside until we get some grub?" Grimmjow asked. "Seriously."

Ichigo had just opened his mouth for another verbal volley when he closed it and nodded. Rukia and Halibel agreed, so they all made a beeline for the closest cafe.

"Finally," Grimmjow said eagerly, rubbing his hands together. "I could really go for some fried - Byakuya!"

Rukia burst out laughing. "Sorry, my big brother's not on the menu, Grimmjow."

"B-but..." Grimmjow pointed at the back of someone's head in the crowd up ahead. "Byakuya Kuchiki, dead ahead! Red alert!"

Rukia gasped. "It _is_ him! And... Hisana?!"

At the mention of her name, Hisana Kuchiki turned around, spotted Rukia's group, and waved hello. She prodded her husband, who turned around, too.

"Oh. Good evening," Byakuya said politely.

Ichigo clapped a hand over his mouth to hide his sudden laughter. "Byakuya, what the..."

Grimmjow fought to keep a wide grin off his face. Both Byakuya and Hisana were in hiking outfits, just like him and his friends, and Byakuya _seriously_ looked weird in a T-shirt, cargo shorts, hiking boots, and a small backpack. He even had a camera hung around his neck!

"Oh my," Halibel commented in Grimmjow's ear. "Byakuya really knows how to... downgrade his wardrobe. I've never seen him outside of a suit."

Grimmjow nodded. "I know, right? He suited down."

Meanwhile, Hisana broke through the crowd to embrace her little sister. "Rukia!" Hisana cried. "It's so good to see you! I had no idea you were here, too."

"Hey, the same's true for me," Rukia said indignantly. "Why didn't you tell me you were back in the area? Last I heard, you were on a business trip in Nigata Prefecture."

"I got back early," Hisana said happily. "I wanted to surprise you, Rukia. But I guess the cat's out of the bag. And speaking of cats..." She parted from Rukia and shook Grimmjow's hand. "It's lovely to see you again, Grimmjow," she said, eyes radiant. "Are you still studying veterinary medicine? And is your kitty still doing well?"

"Yeah, Pantera's doing great," Grimmjow said, a little flustered. Hisana was so... bubbly! "And yeah, I'm doing okay too. Gonna start my grad school stuff soon. It's hard work, but I can do it."

"Wonderful," Hisana said, holding her face in her hands. "I remember a few years back, when you were trying to decide what to do for your future. And now, it's all coming together. And Ichigo! Doing well?"

Now Hisana shook Ichigo's hand in both of hers while Byakuya joined the group.

Ichigo looked as flustered as Grimmjow felt, but the carrot-top managed a smile. "I'm doing great, Hisana. Urahara Shoten is really taking off, and... yeah, everything's cool."

"And Halibel!" Hisana threw herself onto the younger woman and held her tight. "The blushing bride. I was so happy when Rukia told me about your engagement to Grimmjow! You must be so excited!"

"I sure am," Halibel said, straining in Hisana's tight grip. "We're still trying to set a date, and get everything set up. It's a lot of work, you know."

Hisana finally let Halibel go. "I know what you mean. Byakuya was going nuts in the week before our wedding. He had a lot of prince moments. Remember that?" She glanced at her husband.

Grimmjow scratched his head. "Prince?"

Rukia rolled her eyes. "Grimmjow, whenever a bride freaks out about her upcoming wedding, it's a princess moment. Sounds like my big brother had them instead of Hisana."

Byakuya cleared his throat. "I believe that's enough of _that_ topic."

"No way," Ichigo said with a grin. "This is great teasing material."

"Just save it for a good moment," Rukia told him. "Make it count."

"Rukia!" Byakuya looked mortified.

"Oh! I know." Hisana borrowed Byakuya's camera. "Grimmjow, Halibel dear, pose together. Bride and groom! This is a perfect opportunity."

Rukia sighed. "Hisana, seriously -"

"It will only take a moment, Rukia." Hisana motioned for her sister to stay put, and she had Grimmjow and Halibel stand together under some lanterns, and she took a few photos. Then, it was Rukia and Ichigo's turn to pose for their photo shoot, and both of them made sure to good off in every shot.

"No more rabbit ears!" Hisana cried when Rukia and Ichigo did the "bunny ears" thing with their fingers on each other yet again. "Be serious!"

"It's kinda hard to be serious when your big sister acts like your mom," Rukia commented.

"I heard that," Hisana said peevishly. "Now be still!"

She finally got a decent shot of them.

"Anyone ready to eat? I'm starving," Ichigo said, rubbing his stomach. "Hisana, Byakuya, I guess we'll see you guys on Monday in Karakura Town, right?"

"Maybe," Hisana said. "Are you staying in town tonight?"

"Yeah," Grimmjow said.

"Wonderful! So are we!" Hisana wrapped her arm around Byakuya's. "We can stay at the same place. See you after dinner!" She led Byakuya through the crowds to find some chow.

Rukia hung her head. "I apologize for that."

"Why? Your big sister is such a nice person," Halibel said. "I wouldn't mind seeing her more."

"Seriously, a little of her goes a long way," Rukia said dryly. "I'd know: I grew up with her."

"Still, she's your sister," Halibel said.

"Yeah, I know." Rukia looked around. "Anyway... where do you all wanna go to eat? I'm fine with anything..."

*o*o*o*o*

Hisana wasn't kidding; she and Byakuya were staying at the same large _ryokan_ inn as Grimmjow, Halibel, Rukia, and Ichigo, and after everyone got settled in, they split into two groups and visited the large outdoor baths. And they were natural hot spring baths! The most luxurious and authentic kind!

Pretty hot, too, even for a hot spring...

"I see you boys decided to join me," Byakuya said, already up to his shoulders in the bath that evening. The place was well-lit with lanterns and moonlight. "Just please don't splash around. I want to relax."

Ichigo made a face as he and Grimmjow got in. "What, do you think I'm seven?"

Byakuya's expression didn't change. "You collect Star Trek and Batman figurines."

"Hey, those things are high-quality collector's items," Grimmjow piped up, defending his friend. "I've got a super-rare original _Enterprise_ model from 1972! Y'know, the ship from the original show in the late '60s?"

Byakuya raised his eyebrows. "I know what the _Enterprise_ is."

Ichigo blinked. "You do?"

"Of course." Byakuya lifted his chin. "Hisana loves classic TV programming. And your love of Star Trek gave her the idea. She also heard about it through Rukia."

Grimmjow grinned and glanced at Ichigo. "I think Byakuya just joined the fanboy club."

"Nice," Ichigo said with a wide grin.

"And yes, I know what _this_ is." Byakuya sighed and made the Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper."

Grimmjow tried not to laugh. "Whoa. Best vacation ever!"

Ichigo chuckled. "I know!"

"Hey, Byakuya," Grimmjow said eagerly. "Have you learned any Klingon?"

Byakuya scowled. "Is that the alien language? I'm not going to speak -"

Ichigo cleared his throat. "It goes like this -"

"At any rate," Byakuya said loudly, "Grimmjow... I hope your wedding preparation is going well? There's a lot of work involved, as I'm sure you've found out."

"Oh. Yeah." Grimmjow calmed down and nodded. "We're all trying to figure out the details, but it's hard to agree on anything. We haven't even decided on a venue or whether to do a Western-style wedding or a tradtional one."

"Or the music," Ichigo added.

Byakuya nodded. "Of course. And make sure to decide on catering, the menu, silverware, the guest list, everyone's outfits, seating arrangements, decorations, a photographer, the cake, a florist, the honeymoon -"

Grimmjow groaned and clapped his hands over his face. "Oh man, I totally forgot about half these things! Crap!"

"I asked Rukia if she wanted my and grandfather Ginrei's help," Byakuya mentioned, "but she said that you and Halibel wanted a low-budget, hand-made wedding. A project among friends."

"Yeah, that's true," Grimmjow said, lowering his hands. "But this is harder than we thought it would be."

He was glad Ichigo refrained from a "that's what she said" joke.

"I can still help you if you want," Byakuya said. "I can contact the many professional who were hired for my and Hisana's wedding. Our florist, baker, and photographer should all be happy to help for a minor discount."

Grimmjow shared a look with Ichigo. Was it time to admit that they needed some serious help? But that made them all look dumb and helpless! What did it say if Grimmjow and Halibel, and all their friends, couldn't handle their own wedding?

Ichigo seemed to think the same thing. "Maybe this weekend trip will clear our heads," Ichigo said slowly. "And we can resume our wedding planner work on Monday and get more work done. I think we just need a little more time."

Grimmjow nodded. "Thanks, Byakuya. I mean it. But we'll keep workin' on it. I'll bet we surprise you with the end result."

"And don't forget, Sosuke Aizen might have a few ideas," Ichigo added. "Since he wants to cover all this for his magazine."

"Oh. Sosuke Aizen, of _The Yin of the Pine Needle_?" Byakuya said. "Impressive. I didn't realize that he had taken an interest."

"Yeah," Grimmjow said. "Look, we don't wanna exclude you. We'll listen to your and Hisana's ideas. It's just that we need to do the hard work ourselves."

Byakuya shrugged. "I understand. Best of luck to you and your bride."

Grimmjow saluted him. "Thanks, bro."

"You're welcome. And don't call me bro."

*o*o*o*o*

For some reason, Halibel had insisted on bathing second, and the bride-to-be stubbornly sat in front of the old cathode-ray TV in her room until Rukia finally went to the outdoor hot spring baths. Where Hisana was alone.

Oh.

"Hi, Rukia," Hisana said, when her little sister stepped into the open air, a towel wrapped around her petite body.

"Hi." Rukia joined Hisana in the bath. "Whew. This is the hottest spring I've been in."

"I know," Hisana said with a smile. "I hope my poor Byakuya isn't being boiled alive on the men's side." Her face fell a bit. "Look, Rukia... what's wrong? You can tell me."

Rukia glanced away. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"Rukia..."

 _"What?"_

Hisana ran a hand down Rukia's bare arm. "Please, talk to me. Something's bothering you. You know that I know. I'll listen."

"Well..." Rukia sighed, watching the moon. "I... I feel a little guilty saying this out loud."

"Rukia." Hisana's tone was gentle. "You know I'd never judge you."

"I feel a little jealous that Grimmjow and Halibel are going this far, and Ichigo isn't doing this for me," Rukia said in a rush. She felt her heart racing, her face going warm. "That's... that's wrong of me, isn't it?"

Hisana contemplated her little sister. "Do _you_ think it's wrong of you to feel that way?"

"I don't know!" Rukia burst out, then clapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry. But I honestly... this whole wedding plan is making me a little worried. What if Ichigo doesn't want to go the distance with me? Our relationship is solid, but he's never said a thing about our future, besides work-related stuff. Sometimes I wonder if he's marriage material, or if he thinks _I_ am."

Hisana was quiet for a moment. "I couldn't possibly tell you that."

Rukia made a face. "Gee, that was helpful."

"No, I'm serious," Hisanasaid as she rested her hands on Rukia's shoulders. "You understand Ichigo better than anyone, and vice versa. I'm guessing you never talked to him about it?"

"I've hinted at it once or twice, but he never acted on it."

"Then be more open," Hisana told her. "Bottling this up, hiding it away, only gives you a reason to worry. Bring it out, and make this all clear to your boyfriend. If he really is marriage material, he'll understand and try to help, one way or another."

Rukia swallowed. "What if he doesn't understand?"

"Then you'd have a whole different conversation," Hisana said. "Now, I'm not asking you to pressure Ichigo into proposing to you right away! Just make him understand that you're frustrated with the slow pace of your relationship, and that you'd like to work with him to figure our your futures. You're both a team. Solve this problem as one."

Rukia nodded. "I never thought of it that way. That was..."

"Just big sister advice? Of course it was." Hisana backed away and beamed. "That's what I'm for, isn't it?"

Rukia gave Hisana a little splash. "Gosh, you don't have to sound so superior."

"It's my job, you brat." Hisana splashed her back.

Rukia prepared to splash her back, but held back. She settled against the spring's rocky edge. "And let's not forget all the wedding planning I promised to do for Halibel and Grimmjow. We've barely gotten anything done."

"I could put you in touch with my old florist, baker, and photographer," Hisana offered.

"That's sweet of you. But can we save that as the emergency option?" Rukia asked. "We've all challenged ourselves to do this with our own bare hands. I wanna see how far we can go."

"I look forward to seeing the end result," Hisana said kindly. "I bet it'll be the best wedding ever."

Rukia grinned. "What, even better thana yours and Byakuya's?"

Hisana splashed Rukia again. "Okay, now that's crossing the line, missy!"

*o*o*o*o*

Halibel waited an hour before she got out her cell phone and typed in a text message: _Did you have a nice bath?_

Rukia wasted no time in responding. _You knew Hisana was out there waiting for me, didn't you?_

 _ **From: Halibel.**_ _I just might have told her to wait out there for you..._

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _Since when are you such a trickster?!_

 _ **From: Halibel.**_ _So, WAS it a nice bath?_

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _Yeah, it was. I have some things to talk about with Ichigo when all the wedding planning is done, too. I can't wait to get back to wedding work on Monday._

 _ **From: Halibel.**_ _Me, neither. And by the way..._

 _ **From: Rukia.**_ _?_

 _ **From: Halibel.**_ _I've decided: I want to have you as my maid of honor. Congrats!_

A minute later, the room to Halibel's room smashed open and Rukia ran inside in her sleepwear, and Rukia tackle-hugged her friend.

"I knew you'd pick me!" Rukia cried.

Halibel hugged her back. "You wore me down, Rukia. I could tell that this meant a lot to you. But the other girls can do some of the work, too. Bambi and Nel are a big help, even if they keep feuding with you."

"Okay. But I get to help with your dress, no questions asked," Rukia said. "And any necessary bridal coaching. And I'll be in charge of your hair and makeup and jewelry, too."

"It's a deal." Halibel beamed. "I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job, Rukia."

Rukia got up with a wide grin on her face. "Oh, man. I gotta go tell Ichigo!" She scampered back to her room just as Grimmjow returned, now in his sleep shorts and tank top.

Halibel walked over and held Grimmjow's head in her hands as she kissed him. "Hi, darling. Have a good bath?"

"I did," Grimmjow said with a grin. "Whoa, you're in a good mood this evening..."

Halibel hugged him, her chin on his shoulder. "I made Rukia my maid of honor."

"Good to know, babe," Grimmjow said. "I bet she'll be great."

"That's what I told her, too." Halibel parted from him. "I just hope we all stop arguing over everything and get some work done. We're running out of time for our wedding. There's lots left to decide."

"Yeah, for sure." Grimmjow held his fiancee's hands in both of his. "We'll knock this thing out of the park. I'm gonna go to grad school as a married man. Just watch me."

"I know. Now come to bed, mister. I'm exhausted." Halibel smiled and led Grimmjow to their futons, and she climbed into hers. "See you in the morning. I love you."

"Love you too, babe." Grimmjow settled into his own futon.

It was a quiet night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 11: Hammering Out the Details (bust a move, while you're at it)**

On Monday around noon, Grimmjow nearly jumped out of his skin when his cell phone rang while watching an old sitcom on the TV.

Rukia giggled while cuddled up next to Ichigo on the couch. "Scaredy-cat."

"Whatever." Grimmjow stuck out his tongue and answered. "Hello?"

"Mr. Jaegerjaques! Good afternoon," came Sosuke Aizen's voice. "Are you doing well?"

Grimmjow covered the receiver and said in a loud whisper, "It's Aizen!"

Ichigo blinked. "I wonder what he wants?"

"I'm doing great, thanks," Grimmjow said politely into his cell phone. "How about you?"

"Quite well, thank you," Aizen answered. "My first article for your wedding is very nearly ready for publication in _The Yin of the Pine Needle_. I expect that it will draw in many new readers with the novelty of the concept."

Grimmjow nodded. "Good to hear."

"However," Aizen said, "I'm not one to get complacent. Are you and miss Tier free today? Perhaps we could all explore some options for the wedding venue, as well as any other details you'd like to go over."

Grimmjow was acutely aware that both Rukia and Ichigo were leaning close to eavesdrop, their eyes wide with curiosity, like dogs. He shooed them away with a hand and cleared his throat. "Yeah, that sounds fantastic. I'll text Halibel and get everything together. Where should we meet?"

"Hmmmmmm. How about the entrance to Yakisho Park at 1:00 PM?" Aizen said. "I will have Momo and another of my staff members with me. Feel free to bring any or all of your friends along. This wedding is group effort, after all."

"Sure is," Grimmjow said. "Okay, we'll see you there."

"Wonderful," Aizen said warmly. "Good-bye." And he hung up.

Rukia clasped her hands under her chin, her big violet eyes practically glimmering with excitement like in a cartoon. "Please, oh please tell me something fun is about to happen!"

Grimmjow grinned and held up his phone for emphasis. "Yeah. Mr. Aizen wants us all to meet him soon and explore ideas for the wedding's venue, plus anything else we wanna do."

"Yes! Whoo hoo!" Rukia pumped her fists.

Ichigo grinned. "Whoa, honey, you're all stirred up."

"How are you not?" Rukia cried. "This is our chance to make the wedding happen! I can hear the bells already."

"Oh, this is 'cause you want to prove you were the right choice for maid of honor?" Ichigo asked.

Rukia patted Ichigo's head. "Duh! I can't screw this up, you know."

Ichigo kissed her cheek. "I have faith in you. You'll knock this thing right out."

"Thanks, Ichigo."

Meanwhile, Grimmjow eagerly typed his text to his fiancee. _Sosuke Aizen just called me. He wants to meet up and figure out a venue! Are you up to it?_

 _ **From: Halibel.**_ _I'd love to, Grimmjow! I'll ask Uryu and Bambi to join us, and you can bring along Ichigo and Rukia._

 _ **From: Grimmjow.**_ _It's all set. Can't wait!_

 _ **From: Halibel.**_ _Me neither... ;)_

Grimmjow pocketed his phone. "We've gotta get going, guys," he said. "Shouldn't keep Mr. Aizen waiting."

Ichigo motioned at the TV. "Can't we finish this episode first?"

Rukia made an indignant face. "No way! Everything is at stake here! This is life and death!"

"All right, all right..." Ichigo got up and stretched.

Grimmjow stood, then found Pantera and held her up, face-to-face. "Wish me luck," he told her. "Planning a wedding is a lot of work."

Pantera meowed, which was as close to "good luck!" as Grimmjow needed.

*o*o*o*o*

Typically, Nelliel and Orihime had insisted on coming along, so Halibel invited them along too.

"What a crowd," Aizen said, waving hello as the eight friends joined him at the north side of Yakisho Park right at 1:00. He wore a white suit today. "I'm glad so many of you made it."

"It was no trouble, Mr. Aizen," Grimmjow said casually, his hands in his cargo shorts pockets. "Hi, Momo. And, uh..."

Momo Hinamori smiled and motioned to her younger companion. "Everyone, this is Kiyone Kotetsu, the newest staff member at Mr. Aizen's magazine company."

Kiyone waved shyly. "H-hi, everyone."

Orihime waved. "It's so nice to meet you!"

"So, what do you do at the newspaper, anyway?" Bambietta asked. She held Uryu's hand in hers. "Something cool?"

"U-um, well..." Kiyone swallowed. "I mostly run errands for Mr. Aizen. I'm still trying to figure out my place for _The Yin of the Pine Needle_."

Bambi raised her eyebrows. "So, you're the coffee girl?"

Halibel elbowed her friend. "Bambi, that's not nice."

"What? It's pretty much what she said," Bambi defended herself.

"Don't worry," Kiyone said, her voice more confident now, her eyes sharp. "I'll do anything to help Mr. Aizen cover this wonderful wedding! Anything!"

"Great," Nelliel said with a wide grin. "How about getting me an iced coffee? There's a Starbucks down the street -"

Grimmjow cleared his throat. "So, down to business...?"

"Yes! Of course." Mr. Aizen clapped his hands together. "Momo, Kiyone, be sure to take enough photos and make notes of everywhere we visit."

"Yes, sir," the two girls said together.

Mr. Aizen led his large party down the paved path of Yakisho Park as a pleasant breeze picked up. People walked their dogs, played frisbee, or relaxed on blankets on the grass.

"Outdoor weddings are a trend that I favor," Mr. Aizen said, sounding a bit like a tour guide. He waved an arm to encompass the park. "Natural lighting and fresh air can make any outdoor wedding festive and energetic, and the beauty of these gardens and tree groves simply can't be beat. And there's certainly enough elbow room for everyone."

"Oh, these are lovely," Halibel said fondly, holding Grimmjow's hand tightly as she led him to large flowerbeds dotted with fountains. "If these were in a flower shop, I'd buy a few!"

"You mean like this?" Bambietta said, holding out a freshly-picked flower.

Grimmjow made a funny noise. "H-hey! You'll get caught. Isn't that illegal or something?"

"Whatever," Bambi said, holding the flower under Halibel's nose. "Smell it!"

"Hey! Flower thief!" Rukia tackled Bambi to the grass and seized the picked flower.

"Get off me!" Bambi cried.

"I'm the maid of honor! I can't let you get us all in trouble!" Rukia grunted, trying to wrangle Bambi into submission.

Uryu stalked over and separated the girls. "I'm starting to think that an indoor wedding would be better..."

"No, this place is great," Bambi said, standing up and brushing stray grass off her yellow sundress. "So much room out here!"

"Room to get into trouble," Grimmjow muttered.

Mr. Aizen, at least, didn't miss a beat as he led the party onwards. "This grove of blossom trees can lend a romantic air," he said, motioning to the pink blossoms on the trees. "Nature's decoration. And up here, we have a wide patio where we could set up tables for the dinner and reception, complete with quaint Buddha statues."

Grimmjow had to agree that it was a nice place... but damn, he was already sweating! He fanned himself. "I'm getting toasty," he said. "Would a wedding out here be in the evening when it's a bit cooler?"

"Of course," Aizen said as Momo sketched the patio and all its decor. "But you and Halibel would have to book this park early on. This is a popular month for weddings, and given your tight schedule, you may have to decide quickly."

Halibel turned to her fiance. "How about it?" she asked with a warm smile. "Can you see us getting married here, Grimmjow?"

"I... kind of. It's pretty great out here," Grimmjow said. "But maybe we should try out an indoor place too, and compare."

Halibel nodded. "All right." She waved to Aizen. "Could we visit an indoor venue next?"

"Certainly," Mr. Aizen said. "Let's find a bus and - wait, are two people missing?"

Grimmjow sighed when he realized that both Uryu and Bambietta were gone. "I'll text them." So he typed to Uryu: _Where the hell did you and Bambi go?! We're about to leave!_

 _ **From: Uryu.**_ _I'm taking Bambi to a local parlor for ice cream. Just tell us where you're going and we'll meet you there._

 _ **From: Grimmjow.**_ _Any chance you could buy me and Halibel some ice cream, too?_

 _ **From: Uryu.**_ _We will, if you make Bambi the maid of honor!_

 _ **From: Grimmjow.**_ _What the hell?_

 _ **From: Uryu.**_ _Sorry. Bambi swiped my phone. Look, let's just meet up later and decide what to do._

So, Grimmjow relayed the news to Mr. Aizen, and the group hopped onto a city bus and went west four blocks to the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites building. The air conditioning felt fantastic in there, and the staff were all welcoming as they let Mr. Aizen visit with his companions.

"This place seems to be on the small side, but with your limited guest list, that should be no problem," Aizen commented. "Plenty of room for the tables for your guests, and a sizeable dance floor, too. And this location is convenient for most local caterers and other services."

Grimmjow blinked. "Whoa, you aleady knew that?"

Aizen made a small grin. "Momo researched all this on her smart phone on the drive up here."

Momo smiled and tapped her phone's screen. "What do you think, Grimmjow?"

"It's great," Grimmjow said, smiling at his fiancee. "This could be it."

Meanwhile, Orihime waltzed further into the dance floor, humming to herself. "Nice and roomy," she said. "I wonder what kind of music we'll play?"

"Something loud and crazy, that's what!" came Bambietta's voice as she and Uryu appeared. "I know this totally rad DJ friend -"

"Oh, not _that_ guy," Uryu cried. "Bambi, honey, that DJ is the most obnixious -"

Bambi poked a finger into her boyfriend's stomach. "He's called DJ Total Outrage, and he's awesome. We've gotta let him perform."

Rukia rapped her knuckles on Bambi's head. "Did you forget? I'm maid of honor!"

"That doesn't make you queen, y'know," Bambi argued. "Halibel said that the rest of us can help, too. Look." She took Uryu's hand and led him onto the dance floor. "We can decide this with a dance-off! Winning team chooses the music."

"That's not how this works," Rukia argued.

Nelliel stepped forward and played Billy Idol's "White Wedding" on her smart phone's speakers. "Go!" she cried.

And everyone was amazed when Uryu and Bambi launched themselves into the best party dance routine Grimmjow ever saw! Everyone clapped as Bambi and Uryu bowed.

"Top that," Bambi challenged the crowd.

Rukia and Ichigo glanced at each other, grinned, and stepped forward. At Ichigo's request, Nelliel played Wild Cherry's "Play That Funy Music", and the small crowd cheered as the towering Ichigo and petite Rukia did a routine that perfectly used the contrast of their heights for maximum effect.

"Us next," Grimmjow said, holding Halibel's hand as they stepped into the open space. Once Nelliel played B-52's "Love Shack", Grimmjow lost himself in the moment, a whirlwind of music, cheering, and his heart racing as he moved his body. By the time he was done, he and Halibel were posed together at the last note, and he couldn't help a wide grin. _I bet we won!_

Orihime looked around at the three couples. "Gosh, this is tough to decide," she said. "All of you were really good!"

"There's one more," Aizen said, and he and Momo stepped forward.

Bambi stared. "What?!"

"Miss Odelschwank, please play 'Groove Is in the Heart' by Deee-Lite," Aizen said politely. Once Nelliel played it, Mr. Aizen and Momo started with a slow and formal set of moves that accelerated into something wild and fun, but somehow still classy and elegant. Both Aizen and Momo were all smiles as they went through what was probably a well-practiced routine. By the end, everyone burst out cheering and clapping.

"Whoo hoo! Mr. Aizen and Momo win!" Orihime cried. "It's gotta be them!"

"No way!" Bambi protested.

Rukia stared in awe. "Whoa. Even I can't top that."

"Me, neither," Halibel admitted. She glanced at Grimmjow, got an approving nod, and motioned to Aizen and Momo. "I'd be honored if you two would arrange the music for the reception, if you're willing."

Momo bowed. "We would be delighted!"  
"Yes, that's right. We will not let you down," Aizen promised. "Now, is there another venue you all would like to check?"

Grimmjow and Halibel gave each other a look of approval. "We've decided on this one," Grimmjow announced. "Let's book it!"

So, they met the managers and, once Halibel and Grimmjow agreed on July 20th as the date, booked the Cherry Road Inn and Suites as the venue for their upcoming nuptials.

*o*o*o*o*

"What a day," Grimmjow said happily but wearily once he, Rukia, and Ichigo came back home and stepped into the living room. After the tour with Mr. Aizen, they all got ice cream together, and then Grimmjow took Halibel to a nice restaurant downtown for an early dinner date before applying for their marriage licenses and coming back here. The sun was finally set, and cicadas buzzed in the trees.

Rukia kicked off her leather sandals and tossed her purse onto the couch. "I know what you mean. It feel good to finally have some details decided." She smiled and mimed a few dance moves, humming to herself. "I just have to wait for my big moment as the maid of honor."

"What does that mean?" Grimmjow asked, scratching his head.

"Silly." Rukia stopped and put her hands on her hips. "What do you _think_ it means? I have to give Halibel any necessary bridal coaching, plus the super-important duty of helping her choose a dress and get it fitted right, plus handling her hair and makeup and jewelry on the day of the wedding! On your wedding day, I have to make her the most gorgeous thing your sorry butt has ever seen."

Ichigo made a face. "Was there no other way to phrase that?"

Rukia patted Ichigo's stomach and walked off. "C'mon, carrot head."

Ichigo shrugged at Gimmjow and joined his girlfriend in their bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

 _One thing after another,_ Grimmjow thought with amusement as he took his shoes off. His feet were pretty sore by now. Why not fire up the Xbox and -

There was a knock at the door.

 _Jeez. What now?_ Grimmjow thought. He swung open the door, and stared in shock at who stood there.

"Mom?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 12: Homecoming For Mom (she's been around the world, and has trinkets to prove it!)**

Grimmjow felt any possible words get stuck in his throat as his brain registered his mom, Keiko Jaegerjaques, standing there on Rukia and Ichigo's porch. He made a funny croaking sound, then clapped a hand over his mouth. _Come on, dude. Don't look like a dumbass!_

Maybe it was too late for that.

Keiko spread her arms wide and made a nervous smile. "Surprise! I flew into town the day before yesterday." She lowered her arms and her smile faded a little. "It's wonderful to see you again, Grimmjow. Can I have a hug?"

"Y-yeah, sure." Grimmjow stepped forward and embraced her. "Nice to see you again, mom. It's been forever."

"I know, Grimmjow." Keiko parted from her son and dusted off her red blazer. "May I come in? I just wanted to visit for a little bit."

Grimmjow stepped back and watched as Keiko picked up a large, wrapped box that sat at her feet. "Is that a wedding gift?" he asked.

"It is." Keiko shut the door and removed her heels. She wore a knee-length dress skirt and white shirt, and pearl earrings. "Well, it's actually more of a... gift package. I didn't know what to get for you and Halibel, so I gave you both a few things." She smiled again, more easily this time.

Grimmjow blinked. "Oh! Uh... I should get you a drink. In the kitchen." He led her to the small kitchen, hit the lights, and prepared two mugs of tea for them both. "And thanks for the, uh, the gift package," he said awkwardly.

Keiko sat at the square table under the light. Her black hair shone a bit under the lightbulb. "This is a lovely home. Are your friends already asleep?"

"I dunno," Grimmjow admitted. "We all had a long day doing wedding planner stuff. I mean, we found a venue, set the date, applied for marriage licenses... and did you know that Sosuke Aizen is involved? He's writing articles about us. It's pretty cool." He realized he was talking in a mad rush. He took a deep breath and set down the tea mugs. "It's a lot of work, but worth it," he said more slowly. He sat opposite his mom.

"I'm glad to hear all that." Keiko took a sip. "Grimmjow, is this a bad time?"

"Huh? N-no."

Keiko gave him a knowing look.

"Well..." Grimmjow stared into his tea. "I didn't think you were gonna fly into Karakura Town until later. The wedding's on the 20th of July."

"I know. You texted me about it earlier," Keiko said. "I'm staying at the Petal Grove hotel downtown. It's a nice place. I'll be fine."

"All right." Grimmjow took a sip of tea, his mind whirring. He hadn't seen Keiko in person in over a year, though they both often called or texted to keep up with each other. After splitting with Grimmjow's dad, Keiko had traveled the world like she'd always wanted to, and more than once, at home, Takeshi had grumbled about it. And now, for the first time in years, both of them were in Karakura Town. What was Grimmjow supposed to say? Or do?

He jumped out of his skin when the door to Ichigo and Rukia's bedroom slammed open and both of them joined Grimmjow and Keiko.

"Are you really Grimmjow's mom?" Rukia cried, her violet eyes alive with glee. She and Ichigo were still in their day clothes.

"Weren't you visiting South America or something?" Ichigo added. "That's what Grimmjow told us..."

Grimmjow winced. "What the heck, guys!"

"It's all right, Grimmjow," Keiko said with a polite chuckle. "I'd love to meet your friends. Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki, right? It's a pleasure."

Rukia bowed. "The pleasure is all mine, madam." She motioned impatiently to Ichigo, who hastily mimed her bow.

"Such polite friends you have," Keiko told Grimmjow fondly. "You keep good company."

"We're sorry for listening in through the door," Rukia admitted. "But we were so curious..."

" _She_ was curious, and made me listen in," Ichigo explained.

Rukia swatted his arm.

Keiko chuckled again. "It's just like what Grimmjow tells me."

Rukia frowned. "What is?"

"He tells me how his friends always irritate each other, but have unshakable bonds," Keiko said. "Especially you two."

Rukia hesitated, then wrapped her arms around Ichigo. "Heck, you're right."

"It really is nice to meet you," Ichigo added. "I mean, Grimmjow's told us about you before, but..."

"Well, you were right about me being in South America until a few days ago," Keiko said, taking another sip of hot tea. "In Venezuela, in particular. I do just as much traveling as you think, and more. Back in my hotel room, I have some mementos of my visits around the globe."

Rukia gasped when she laid eyes on the gift box. "Are there some in the box?"

Keiko glanced at it. "Those are wedding presents for my son and his bride. But why not? Grimmjow, go ahead and open one."

 _Oh man, there's no telling what will happen next._ Grimmjow slid off his seat, unwrapped the large cardboard box, and dug up one of the smaller boxes inside. He unpacked... a small Buddha statue.

Keiko sighed fondly. "I found that in a New Delhi marketplace. Isn't it wonderful? In fact, I got a second one for myself. It's supposed to bring calm and happiness to whoever's around it."

Ichigo snorted. "I can think of a few people who need that."

Rukia elbowed him.

"I-I didn't mean _you_!" Ichigo yelped.

"It's pretty cool, mom. Thanks," Grimmjow said, setting it on the kitchen counter. He swallowed. "So, uh... have you seen dad yet? Since you got back in town?"

Keiko glanced down. "No, I haven't. I'm not sure he'll want to see me."

"Not at all?" Rukia cried indignantly.

"Things are still... a little strained between me and Grimmjow's father," Keiko told Rukia. "I'm not sure I want to ruin things with -"

"But what about the wedding? And the seating arrangements?" Rukia went on. "You're the mother of the groom! You've gotta be there!"

"Rukia," Ichigo told his girlfriend, "Grimmjow and his mom know all this stuff better than we do. We shouldn't interfere."

Keiko smiled. "You're very sweet, both of you, but I'm not sure yet what to do. I only know that I'd rather avoid any messy business that could ruin my son's wedding." She had a thoughtful look. "Perhaps if I went under a false name, and wore my makeup differently, Takeshi won't know it's me..."

Rukia burst out laughing.

Keiko snorted in amusement. "I know, I was only joking about that."

"No," Rukia said breathlessly. "I mean, you make the _exact_ same face as Grimmjow when he's thinking real hard."

Grimmjow glanced at his mom. "What, for real?"

Rukia kept chuckling. "Oh, Grimmjow, she's totally your mom. As maid of honor, I put in my vote that she attend the wedding, no spy names, no disguises, no drama. Just your mother being there for your and Halibel's big day."

Ichigo cleared his throat. "I second that vote."

Grimmjow rubbed his chin and cranked the gears in his mind. "Well, the guest list, and the seating arrangements, aren't set in stone yet. I could put heads together with Halibel and Rukia and work something out with you, mom."

"Whatever you all think is best," Keiko said fondly. "Ichigo, Rukia... Grimmjow told me on the phone how hard you all are working to put together this wedding on your own, and I'm _very_ impressed. I'll do whatever I can to help."

"I think we'll need at least a Buddha statue and a half to pacify some of our friends," Grimmjow said with a grin.

Rukia made a cough that sounded just like _"Bambi!"_

"She's not _that_ bad," Ichigo told her. Then he grinned. "Oh wait. Yes she is."

"And Nel," Grimmjow groaned. "Mom, did I tell you how Halibel's roommate Nelliel swiped my engagement ring and tried to ransom me?"

Keiko looked astonished. "You didn't mention that in our last phone conversation."

Grimmjow winced. "Probably because it's so mortifying. I acted like a dumbass in a fine restaurant to meet Nelliel's demands and still didn't get the ring back."

"It sounds like you're being tested at every turn, Grimmjow," Keiko said with a grin as she took another sip of tea.

"Yeah, no kidding," Grimmjow said wearily. "There's still a zillion details left to work out, and I doubt anyone's gonna give up their own ideas without a fight."

Rukia puffed out her chest. "Relax, Grimmjow. You have the maid of honor on your side. I can get the job done!"

Grimmjow nodded. "Thanks, Rukia."

"Well, I suppose I should get back to the hotel," Keiko said, standing up. She hugged her son again. "I'm so happy for you, Grimmjow. I can't wait until the 20th of next month."

"Me neither, mom."

Keiko smiled, then went to the door and slipped her black heels back on. "I suppose I will see the lot of you soon -"

"Tomorrow," Rukia announced.

Everyone froze. "What?" Ichigo croaked.

"This is about family, and everyone coming together," Rukia said, holding up a finger. "I mean, Halibel's mom and dad will be there at the wedding, happy as can be. Heck, Keito Tier already said that he's gonna walk Halibel down the aisle as per tradition. The groom's family must be in top form, too."

Grimmjow scratched his head. "I hope you have a good plan, then, esteemed maid of honor."

"Oh, I certainly do." Rukia lowered her finger to point it at Keiko. "Keiko, I'll set you up on a lunch date with Mr. Jeagerjaques tomorrow around noon. Within 24 hours, everything will be peachy. That's a Kuchiki guarantee."

Rukia's promise hung in the air for a second.

"All right," Keiko said with a small smile. "You can get my cell phone number from Grimmjow. I look forward to lunch. Good night, everyone." She shut the door.

Ichigo let out a long, slow breath. "Whoa, you're playing with fire, Rukia. You barely know the woman, and you're trying to -"

"Rekindle something amazing? Of course," Rukia said proudly, hands on her hips. "You know what I'm capable of."

"Where are my mom and dad gonna meet, anyway?" Grimmjow asked.

Rukia grinned. "I'll figure something out. Now, let's get to bed, Ichigo. Good night, Grimmy."

 _I really ought to put my foot down about that stupid nickname,_ Grimmjow thought as his friends retreated back to their bedroom and shut the door. He looked down as Pantera wandered into the room and rubbed against his leg, and he picked her up and petted her head.

Now the wedding planners had another ball to juggle. Rukia had better not drop it!

*o*o*o*o*

It definitely felt weird to peek into a restaurant's window to watch his mom and dad meet for a lunch date the next day. And it felt even weirder to do it in company.

Grimmjow made an irritated noise. "I have to ask again: was it _really_ necessary to bring all our friends, Rukia?!"

Rukia and Ichigo were here to spy on Grimmjow's parents... along with Halibel, Uryu and Bambietta, plus Nelliel and Orihime. Mercifully, Keigo, Chizuru, and Tatsuki were absent, or Grimmjow would lose his mind (if he hasn't lost it already).

Rukia giggled. "Why not? Love is being rekindled today! I felt like I should bring the wedding planner team."

Bambi pressed her face to the window glass. "Whoa, is that really Grimmjow's mom? She's so beautiful."

"And she looks nothing like Grimmjow," Orihime added, pressing her face even harder to the glass. "Grimmy, did you get all your looks from your dad?"

"Most of them," Grimmjow grunted. "Can we _please_ not do this?"

"As long as they don't see us, it'll be fine, honey," Halibel assured her fiance with a smile. "This is actually kind of fun."

Grimmjow made a grin. "I just find it funny that you want to spy on my mom before you meet her face to face."

Halibel giggled. "Hey, this was Rukia's idea, not mine. How could I say no to my maid of honor's plan?"

"Man, these girls really rub off on you..." Grimmjow commented.

Halibel squeezed Grimmjow's hand in hers. "I know, honey."

"Shush!" Orihime cried. "They're sitting down at their table. And talking."

"Can you hear what they're saying?" Bambietta hissed.

Rukia frowned. "How could we possibly hear them from here?"

"They seem cordial, at least," Uryu said, peeking from his vantage point. "So far, so good..."

Grimmjow frowned. "Y'know, this place is really upscale, Rukia."

"Don't worry," Rukia told him. "I gave your mom some extra cash."

"What, seriously?"

"Do you want your parents to get back together or not?" Rukia demanded.

"Hey!" Nelliel cried. "Takeshi's about to hold her hand! Wait... he's just reaching for the pepper shaker. Never mind..."

Hardly daring to believe this nonsense, Grimmjow watched with everyone else as his parents chatted over wine, and soon, the waiter brought their lunches, and everything kept going smoothly from there. Kind of.

"Looks like they're arguing," Bambi noted. "I can tell from Keiko's face, and how Takeshi is moving his hands."

"I know," Uryu agreed. "I hope one of them turns this around quicikly."

As though hearing Uryu's voice, both Keiko and Takeshi seemed to calm down and resumed chatting normally. Until their tempers flared up again!

"No!" Nel wailed. "They have to hurry and make out, or everything's ruined!"  
Grimmjow made a face. "Don't you mean 'make up'?"

"I know what I said," Nel said with a wicked grin.

Grimmjow sighed.

This time, both Keiko and Takeshi kept up their argument and got visibly infuriated at each other, and a few nearby restaurant patrons stared at them. When the waiter came by, Takeshi made a dismissive gesture and followed Keiko, who had stormed away toward the exit.

Grimmjow and the others ducked for cover behind a few large bushes as Keiko and Takeshi exited the restaurant and stomped down the sidewalk nearby.

"I just don't get why you won't talk to me!" Takeshi was saying loudly, gesturing as he followed Keiko.

"This, coming from you?" Keiko shot back over her shoulder. "You're really one to talk, Takeshi. You're always so full of it!"

"Excuse me? You think you can dump this on me?" Takeshi retorted. "You've got another thing coming, Keiko!"

"Oh, I'd just _love_ to see what brilliant theory you came up with!" Keiko snapped.

Back and forth they went, further down the street, until they reached an intersection and crossed it.

Halibel held Grimmjow close as the group of friends stood up. "I'm sorry," she said, her eyes glimmering with tears. "I-I shouldn't have come along and made you listen to that. We all had no business nosing in on your family."

Grimmjow held her too, gently running a hand down Halibel's back. "My family drama isn't your fault," he said kindly. "I should have figured this would happen."

Rukia hung her head. "I can't believe it. I thought my plan was foolproof. I failed as maid of honor."

Uryu adjusted his glasses. "We should get out of here before anyone fusses at us. Let's go, Bambi."

"No kidding. See you guys later." Bambi, who was visibly shaken, took her boyfriend's hand and walked down the street with him.

"Good luck with your parents, Grimmjow," Nel said, offering a smile. "Look, I'll treat you to ice cream. Okay?"

Grimmjow nodded. "Sure. Thanks."

*o*o*o*o*

Barely an hour later, though, Grimmjow and the others were waiting for a bus to take them back to their residential area when Ichigo's cell phone rang.

"You've _gotta_ change that lame ringtone, Ichigo," Rukia commented as Ichigo's phone played the theme to the 1989 _Batman_ movie.

"Whatever." Ichigo answered the call. "Hello? Oh, hey, boss. No, I'm not gonna call you 'Kisuke' while off work." He took a minute to listen to whatever the heck Mr. Urahara was telling him, and Ichigo's brown eyes widened. "No. No way!"

Rukia looked alarmed. "What's the matter? Did something happen?"

Ichigo hung up. "Yeah, something happened. Kisuke said that Takeshi passed by Urahara Shoten with Keiko, both of them still arguing as they went."

Halibel raised her eyebrows. "What about it?"

Ichigo swallowed. "Mr. Urahara got curious, so he followed them for a bit, and he said that they... they..."

Orihime looked terrified. "Did they get mugged?"

"No." Ichigo took a deep breath. "They went into a love hotel."

An awkward silence fell.

"Are you for real?" Nelliel finally said.

"Yeah. Mr. Urahara even said that Takeshi slapped Keiko on the bum as they went in," Ichigo said slowly. "Plain as day."

Grimmjow winced as everyone else burst out laughing.

"I did it!" Rukia cried, raising her fists into the air. "They made up after all! Best maid of honor!"

Grimmjow ran his hands over his face. "Could we _please_ not talk about this?"

"Why not? I got the groom's parents back together!" Rukia hooted, ignoring the funny looks that passing pedestrians gave her. "The wedding is saved!"

Ichigo grinned and kissed Rukia's cheek. "I knew you could do it, babe."

"Thanks, Ichigo."

Grimmjow sighed. "Well, I guess that whole... problem... is over. Now we just gotta figure out seating for the wedding. Assuming my parents can keep their hands off each other..."

Halibel hugged him. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Everything will be fine!"

"Yeah, and now, you don't feel bad about spying on my parents, right?" Grimmjow said with a grin.

"Not at all," Halibel said.

"It's like a fairytale," Orihime said fondly as the bus pulled up.

 _Some fairytale,_ Grimmjow thought as he boarded the bus with everyone else. When it was time for Halibel to meet Keiko in person, Grimmjow hoped that today's events would _not_ be discussed, for the sake of his sanity.

Why couldn't it be July 20th already?


	13. Chapter 13

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 13: Finding Your Plus-One (it's just as big a headache as it sounds!)**

It was mid-afternoon when Grimmjow finally set down his pen on the kitchen table of Halibel and Nelliel's apartment and sighed with relief. "Okay, I signed the last one," he announced. "We did it."

Halibel beamed and folded up one of the wedding invitations. "Whew. That's a load off my mind."

"I know," Nelliel said happily. "Now we just have to figure out other stuff like seating, the photographer, the florist, catering, Halibel's dress, and -"

Grimmjow waved a hand. "Whoa, one thing at a time. Besides, Rukia called super-dibs on helping Halibel with her bridal dress and stuff, being the maid of honor and all."

"It's true," Halibel told her roommate. "Rukia would go in a frenzy like a rabid raccoon if you tried to take over that job, Nel."

Nel pouted. "Rukia thinks she's so great or something."

"Don't worry, my other bridesmaids will have plenty to do," Halibel said kindly. "Besides, you love parties. Aren't you going to set up my bachelorette party?"

Nel brightened. "I totally forgot about that!"

"Doubt it," Grimmjow muttered.

"Put a cork in it, Grimmy," Nel teased him. She clasped her hands together under her chin. "I can imagine it now..."

"Don't mind her," Halibel told her fiance as Nel dreamily gazed into the distance. "Once she's like this, you might as well wait it out. Maybe watch a movie or something."

Grimmjow watched as Nel started drooling. "I don't know how you stay sane around here."

Halibel kissed him on the cheek. "A dash of magic and a _lot_ of patience."

Her cell phone rang with a face-time call.

"Hi, Bambi," Halibel said as she picked up. "How are you?"

"Great!" Bambietta said in the phone's screen. "Hey, look who's here with me."

Candice Basterbine poked her face into the phone's camera's view. "Heeeeeeey, lovebirds! Miss me? Bet you did!"

Grimmjow waved. "Hi, Candice. Back in town?"

"Yeah! I just flew in from Seoul last night," Candice said cheerily. "I'm staying with my sister and Uryu until the wedding. It's nice to be back."

Halibel squinted at the screen. "It looks like you're outside... it looks familiar..."

She barely spoke when there was a knock on the door. Halibel got up and answered, and both Basterbine sisters threw the door open.

"It's the bride!" Candice cried, throwing her arms around Halibel. "Oh, I still can't believe you're getting married soon!"

Grimmjow rolled his eyes as he got up to greet them. "Did you call us on the way here? You couldn't wait two minutes to come inside?"

"We've been told that people need warning before we arrive on the scene," Bambi said, stashing her phone in her small leather purse.

So true...!

"And here's the handsome groom!" Candice added, now embracing Grimmjow where he stood. "Are you excited for the big day? Are you? Huh? Are you?"

"Jeez, give me half a second to respond," Grimmjow retorted. Then he beamed. "Nice to see you again, Candice. Is South Korea treating you okay?"

"Yeah. It's such a beautiful country," Candice said. "Warm, too. Has it been a hot summer here, too?" She fanned herself, even though she stood in air conditioning while wearing a thin tube top and outrageously short jean shorts.

"Pretty toasty," Grimmjow said casually. "So, we just finished writing all our wedding invitations. Here's yours." He handed it over.

Candice held it up close to her face. "Ooooooh, it's really cute. Do they all have lace and bird patterns on them?"

"They sure do," Halibel said. "Bambi and Orihime helped me pick out the designs."

"So, that means the guest list is all settled?" Candice asked.

"Oh, yeah," Bambi put in. "As the best bridesmaid -"

"That's debatable," Grimmjow muttered.

"Put a sock in it, cat boy," Bambi shot back. "Anyway..." She glanced up. "The women in the guest list are Miza Tier, Keiko Jaegerjaques, Karin and Yuzu Kurosaki, Hisana Kuchiki, Chizuru, and you, Candice. The men are Kisuke Urahara, Keito Tier, Takeshi Jaegerjaques, Yasutora Sado, Keigo Asano, Isshin Kurosaki, Ryuken Ishida, Byakuya and Ginrei Kuchiki, and Mizuiro. Ichigo and Uryu are both the best man together, and Orihime, Tatsuki, Nelliel, and I are the bridesmaids, and Rukia, as she constantly reminds us, is the maid of honor."

She took a deep breath. "That's everyone."

"Whoa. You memorized all that?" Candice said, looking thunderstruck.

Bambi grinned. "What, are you surprised?"

Candice smiled back. "Nope! It's just like you."

"We're about to mail out the invites," Grimmjow mentioned. "But after that, we could all hang out for a bit."

"Thanks, Grimmjow," Candice said. "Except..." Her face fell. "I want to bring a plus-one. But... I don't know who to bring."

Nelliel popped out of her daydream and joined the crowd. "You need a date?" she asked.

"Yeah," Candice said, nodding. "Nel, do you know anyone I could bring? Who's free?"

Nel made a wicked grin. "I know some nice guys who moved into town recently. One of them should work out fine, after we figure out which is best for the job."

Grimmjow swallowed. "Hang on... that sounds and awful lot like tryouts. How long is this gonna take?"

Nel elbowed Grimmjow and giggled. "As long as it takes, silly. We've got some double dates to set up between you and Halibel and Candice and her dates. I wonder who we should start with first?"

"Don't worry," Bambi said, patting her sister's shoulder. "This is gonna work out great..."

*o*o*o*o*

"... yeah, so then I was like, 'dude. You're killin' it, man.' Rock and roll, am I right?" Izuru Kira babbled that evening at a sushi restaurant downtown. He slouched in his seat at the table, an arm casually draped around Candice's shoulders. "Best jam session ever, man."

Grimmjow, who had endured 45 minutes of this, cleared his throat. "Sounds like your garage band is coming along great."

"Yeah, we're really diggin' the sound, dude," Izuru said, making the devil-horns gesture. He shook his head to ruffle up his green and black-dyed bangs. His dragon fang earrings rattled on his earlobes. "Can't decide on a name, though. Keep arguin' over what sounds better, Bastard Eagles or Rip It or Scuzzy Sons of Guns."

Grimmjow leaned closer to Halibel and dropped his voice to a whisper. "He wasn't like this last time I saw him, I swear."

Halibel nodded. "I think this potential plus-one is a bust."

"Well, I think this potential plus-one is a winner!" Candice cried, waving an arm. "Waiter! More soda, please! Pronto!"

The waiter scowled and trudged away.

"So, Izuru," Halibel said, raising her voice a bit. "You graduated college with a degree in music and sound engineering, right? Could you tell us more about that?"

"Of course." Izuru sat up straight and cleared his throat. "I graduated in the top ten percent of my class. My parents were there at my graduation and both told me how proud they were. It was the best night of my life."

Halibel put a hand over her heart. "That's so sweet."

"And then," Izuru added, slouching again, "I put that degree to some pretty rad work, man. The chicks dig the Bastard Eagles band! Yeah, I'm stickin' with that name for now. It totally rocks, y'know?" He did the devil-horns again.

Halibel sighed. "And the magic is gone."

"At least you're not a geek like Grimmjow," Candice said with a giggle. "He and Ichigo still play with Star Trek action figures and model ships."

Grimmjow went red. "We don't _play_ with them. They're collector's items that sit on my display shelf. There's a big difference."

"Yeah, well, you still have tiny plastic Klingons in your room, right?" Candice teased. "I know you, Grimmjow."

 _Dessert can't come fast enough,_ Grimmjow thought with a defeated sigh. "Let's talk about something else."

"Hey, don't you speak Klingon, too?" Candice added with a wide grin. "Do some of that!"

"So, Grimmjow is studying hard for veterinary medicine -" Halibel cut in.

"Do the Klingon, dude," Izuru said. "Bet it sounds rad."

Grimmjow sighed again. _yljaH vlneH! I just want to go home..._

*o*o*o*o*

It took a great deal of work to convince Candice not to make Izuru Kira her plus-one to the wedding. So, for the next double date, Candice and Nelliel decided on Chad instead, even though he was already invited.

The problem was, during the lunch date, Chad clammed up.

"Have you picked out a suit for the wedding, big guy?" Candice teased Chad at the outdoor cafe. She poked him.

Chad grunted, nodded, and took a big bite of his turkey club sandwich.

"I bet you'll look handsome," Candice said sweetly. "Hey, after this, we could practice dancing. It'll be fun."

Chad grunted and nodded again.

Halibel smiled. "Chad, I've never seen you look so excited like this. I bet you can't wait for the wedding."

Again, Chad grunted and nodded.

Grimmjow motioned to Candice. "So, Chad... you wanna take her to the wedding?"

Chad grunted and shrugged.

And so on, until Candice gave up on the whole Chad idea.

Renji Abarai didn't work either, mainly because he was also in the Bastard Eagles band, and he made Izuru Kira seem like the queen of England by comparison. Marechiyo Omaeda was a bust too, given how he refused to attend unless he could be the manager for the catering and cake. And Shunsui's twin nephews, well... better to not get into that.

"Oh, what a drag," Candice whined a few days later, after she crossed off the last name of her list. She, Grimmjow, and Halibel were finishing window-shopping downtown and arrived at the bus stop to wait for the next bus. "Will I go to the wedding by myself after all?"

"You'll find someone," Halibel assured her. "I'm positive."

"Maybe," Candice said with a sigh. "Maybe I'll just go home and watch more _Friends_ re-runs. That always cheers me up."

"Whoa. _Friends_?" a new voice said. "I love that show!"

A guy around Grimmjow's age showed up, hands in his skinny jeans pockets. He wore a thin black T-shirt and Converse sneakers. He gave Candice a warm smile. "I'm Shuhei."

Candice giggled and toyed with her hair. "I'm Candice Basterbine. Which season's your favorite?"

"Fifth," Shuhei said without hesitation.

Candice gasped. "What? Me too!"

"Jennifer Anniston's my favorite foreign actress," Shuhei said excitedly. "I loved her in _Office Space_ , too. Y'know, that office comedy movie?"

"I love it too!" Candice squealed. "What else do you like?"

Plenty of other stuff that Candice did, as it turned out, and Candice wrapped her arms possessively around Shuhei's arm. "Okay, this is my plus-one," she announced. "You'd better look good in a suit, Shuhei."

"I'll try," Shuhei promised.

Grimmjow gave Halibel the thumbs-up as their bus arrived. "Looks like it all worked out, babe."

"I'm happy for her," Halibel said brightly as Candice exchanged cell phone numbers with Shuhei. "Because that means she'll leave us alone," she added quietly.

Candice didn't hear a thing. Instead, she waved good-bye to Shuhei and got onto the bus with her two friends.

Mission accomplished!

*o*o*o*o*

Back at Ichigo and Rukia's place, though, things weren't so clear-cut.

"Look, it's Grimmjow and Halibel's wedding, not ours!" Ichigo cried as Grimmjow stepped in through the front door.

"That doesn't mean I can't help," Rukia shot back, arms folded over her chest. "I'm the maid of honor. This is my job."

"But weren't the other girls supposed to help?" Ichigo retorted. "They're part of this, too."

"It's not -!" Rukia said, raising her voice. Then she and Ichigo saw Grimmjow.

"Did I interrupt something?" Grimmjow asked timidly.

Rukia, who was red in the face by now, wiped her brow and stalked off. "No, we were just chatting." She shut her bedroom door behind her.

Ichigo turned to Grimmjow, a flustered look on his face. "Man, she gets so carried away," he said. "You know what I mean?"

Grimmjow clapped Ichigo on the back. "It's better not to argue with a Kuchiki, y'know," he said.

"But..." Ichigo glanced at the closed bedroom door. "This whole thing is getting to her head. Rukia's been a bit off ever since the wedding planning started, and not just because of the stress. Somethin' else is going on, and she won't tell me."

Grimmjow sank onto the couch with Ichigo and turned on the TV. An old sci-fi movie came on, and Grimmjow adjusted the volume. "That's what Halibel said to me, too. Look, man, I bet Rukia will tell you when she knows how to express it. Let's not force things."

"Yes, mother," Ichigo joked. "But seriously, I see your point."

"Yup." Grimmjow reclined on the couch, his mind buzzing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 14: Time Off For Just the Two of Us (yeah, right)**

"Okay, how about _this_." Rukia sighed and ran her hands through her dark hair yet again, making it even messier. She and her friends sat at the dining room table in Byakuya and Ginrei's house late that afternoon. "We could get the Happy Deluxe package from caterer C, and wines from vineyard D, and use bakery F since they're having a discount deal for July weddings. I think that'll save us the most money."

Uryu shook his head and pointed at some of the many catalogues, flyers, and other info sheets spread on the table. "Wait, you forgot about the service charge that caterer C charges for summer events. That, and bakery 7 is pretty far out of town. They're bound to charge a lot to bring a cake to the ballroom and suites on Cherry Road."

Rukia made a frustrated noise. "Oh, I forgot that."

"See? Let Uryu take care of everything," Bambi said proudly, patting the top of her boyfriend's head. "He's the smart one."

"And I'm not?" Rukia roared, bolting to her feet, slamming her open palms on the table.

"Uryu's the math nerd! He's the one who'll figure this out!" Bambi shot back, also standing up.

"Hey! Don't talk down to Rukia like that," Ichigo snapped, pointing an accusing finger.

Bambi puffed out her chest. "What did you say, carrot boy?"

Byakuya walked past, an annoyed look on his face. "Everyone calm down or leave," he said as he went.

"Sorry," everyone said at the same time.

Grimmjow rolled his neck. "Guys, we've been going over this all afternoon. Why don't we call it quits for today and work on it Sunday? My poor brain is wrung like a sponge."

Halibel patted Grimmjow's shoulder. "I think you have a point, honey. We need a fresh start later."

Bambi pouted. "But we were so close to solving everything. And by 'we' I mean Uryu."

Uryu nodded. "Thanks, Bambi, but I could use a break myself. Figuring out a wedding isn't easy. We haven't even set up the rehearsal dinner yet."

Ichigo groaned. "I totally forgot about that."

"Dummy," Bambi teased him.

"He's not a dummy," Rukia retorted. "Well, not always, at least..."

At that moment, Ginrei Kuchiki stepped into the dining room. "Good afternoon, everyone," he said. "Rukia, would you be interested in having your guests stay for a light dinner?"

Rukia glanced at everyone's competitive faces and shook her head. "Thank you for the offer, grandfather, but we're worn out. Maybe sometime next week."

Ginrei nodded. "I understand. Have a good evening, everyone. I'm off to Classical Wares for an evening shift." He turned and left.

Classical Wares, the antiques shop that Ginrei and Byakuya ran near Kisuke's shop. It was there where Grimmjow had first gotten to known Halibel for real... what memories! Not to mention the memories of Byakuya shooting him condescending looks... ugh...

"Well, rest assured, my dear bride," Bambi told Halibel in a dramatic tone. "Uryu and I will get your wedding together no matter what. Next time we meet, you'll be ready to walk down the aisle right then and there!"

Halibel smiled. "Thank you, guys."

"Whoa! You're forgetting someone," Rukia cut in, pointing at herself. "Maid of honor speaking here. Halibel, it's my solemn duty to help you buy the perfect dress and shoes. And I'll be coaching you, too."

"I look forward to it," Halibel said kindly.

"And I," Ichigo proclaimed, "will make sure Grimmjow looks like a gentleman at his wedding, and not like a chimp stuffed in a tux."

Everyone had a good laugh at that. "Quite the challenge, Ichigo," Uryu said with a grin. "I won't blame you if you fail."

Grimmjow scowled. "Is that a bigger burn on Ichigo or me?"

"Yes," Bambi said, nodding.

Grimmjow sighed.

"Actually, you _might_ need my help with that, Ichigo," Uryu said. "At Mr. Kyoraku's tailor shop."

"I've gotta do something on my own," Ichigo argued. "I'm not helpless, man."

"Of course not. Which is why I trust you to organize the bachelor party," Uryu said patiently. "I could never do that. Only you."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "I know false modesty when I hear it, four-eyes."

"Just organize the darn party, will you?" Bambi told Ichigo. She grinned. "And I will handle the bachelorette party! Oh yeah!"

"Nelliel could help," Halibel offered. "Or Orihime or Tatsuki."

Bambi shook her head. "Naw, Orihime is too tame for that. Maybe she can do something else."

"Good enough for me," Grimmjow said. He stood and took hold of Halibel's hand. "Babe, let's scram. We need some time alone."

Halibel smiled and stood. "I know just the thing..."

*o*o*o*o*

Later that evening, Halibel invited Grimmjow up to her apartment, and when Grimmjow knocked, the door swung open and he let out a gasp.

"Wh-whoa," was all Grimmjow could choke out. He felt his heart thumping hard and he couldn't help a delighted grin.

"I've been waiting for you," Halibel said in her best sexy voice. "Why don't you come in?"

"Lead the way, babe." Grimmjow stepped in and shut the door and locked it. Tonight, Halibel wore her best pink lingerie and a thin, see-through nightie, her hands on her hips and a teasing smile on her face.

Halibel traced a finger down Grimmjow's chest. "You're a bit overdressed, lover boy..."

"Oh. Yeah." Grimmjow kicked off his shoes and eagerly tore off his Led Zeppelin logo t-shirt. He patted his abs. "How's that?"

Halibel took his hand and led him to the couch. "Nel's not here. We have the whole evening to ourselves," she told him, and she gently shoved Grimmjow onto the couch. She straddled him and started kissing him, holding his head in her hands.

"Mmmmmm. Babe, what did I do to earn this?" Grimmjow panted between kisses.

"I've been waiting for an evening alone with you," Halibel told him. "You know, with all our wedding planner business, we haven't had much time together."

"Damn straight. I hope Nel doesn't walk in on us," Grimmjow joked. He held Halibel's hips in his hands. "Honey, you're looking _good_ this evening."

"I know." Halibel pressed herself closer to her fiance, her warm, soft lips all over his. "Now, hold still..."

Grimmjow heard the distinct sound of a key rattling in the front door's lock.

"Crap! Is that Nel?" Grimmjow hissed.

Halibel sprang to her feet, her eyes wide with shock. "It must be! Hurry, hide in my bedroom!"

"But -!"

"Quick!" Halibel gave him a shove, and Grimmejow scampered into Halibel's bedroom and slid under her queen-sized bed, next to boxes of spare shoes and some old notebooks from college. Typical under-the-bed clutter... which now included a shirtless dude.

"That movie was so dumb, Halibel," Grimmjow heard Nelliel saying in the living room. "Who would watch something like that?"

"You're home awfully early," Halibel told her.

"Yeah, 'cause I walked outta the theater," Nel said. "By the way, lookin' good, girl! Is that a new bra? Testing it out?"

"I-I sure am," Halibel said with a false giggle. "I thought I'd walk around a bit and get the feel for it. I think it's fantastic."

Nel let out a whistle. "If that ensemble doesn't give Grimmjow a boner, you'd better divorce him."

Halibel squawked. "Don't joke about that, you wacko."

"Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help it."

Grimmjow lay still under Halibel's bed as he heard the two girls wander around. "Hey, whose shirt is that?" Nel suddenly asked. "This one over here..."

"Oops," Halibel said. "I think Grimmjow left that the last time he visited."

"What, did it fall off?" Nel said skeptically. "Y'know, this makes it look like you were seeing someone on the side, and shooed him away right before Grimmjow showed up."

Halibel made an irritated noise. "I swear I'll kick you in the shin one of these days."

"Wait... I recognize this shirt. It's Grimmjow's!" Nel said. "So you weren't cheating. I'm so happy!"

"Shut up!"

"Well, I'd better give this back to Mr. cat boy," Nel said, walking down the short hallway and toward the bedrooms. "Hey, what if he's here right now?"

Grimmjow clenched his fists. _Please don't find me!_

Nel wandered into Halibel's bedroom and switched on the light. "Oh, Mr. Grimmjow... come here, little kitty! You forgot your shirt!"

Grimmjow saw Halibel's ankles as his fiancee stepped into the room. "He's not here _right now_ ," Halibel told her roommmate. "Just give that to me. I'll return it to him tomorrow."

Nel giggled. "Y'know, what if Grimmjow's hiding somewhere in here? I've always wanted to see him shirtless."

"Shut up, Nel!"

"Oh, come on. Everyone wants to see him shirtless," Nel teased. "He should pose for magazines or something."

"I'm sure he could," Halibel said. "Look, let's just heat up some leftovers and watch a game show. It's been a long day."

"Fine, fine..." Both girls stepped out and turned off the light.

A minute later, Grimmjow's cell phone chimed with a text message, and he jumped in terror from the sound. He switched the phone to silent and checked the message. _**From: Halibel.**_ _Grimmjow, I'm occupying Nel in the kitchen. Try and sneak out! I'll turn up the TV's volume so Nel doesn't hear anything._

Grimmjow texted back. _Okay. Here I go!_

He slid out from under Halibel's bed, crept down the hall, and peeked around the corner. Sure enough, a game show blared on the TV as Halibel occupied Nelliel with a funny video on her cell phone, both girls' backs turned to the front door. By now, Halibel had put on a deep purple bathrobe over her nightie.

 _You're the best, babe. Love you!_ Grimmjow grinned and crept to the front door. He reached for the handle.

The doorbell rang.

 _No! Why?!_ Grimmjow scampered like a tiger towards the couch for cover, and just in time. Halibel stalked over to the door and wrenched it open.

"Who is it? Oh... hi," she said as Ichigo and Rukia stepped inside.

"Hey there," Rukia said, beaming. "I hope you don't mind if we pop in for a bit."

Halibel nodded. "Have a seat. I'll get tea."

Ichigo sat next to Rukia on the couch, his arm draped over her shoulders. "Rukia and I had a little chat earlier," he said happily, "and we've figured some things out."

"What kind of things?" Halibel asked as she prepared the tea.

"We've been in a rut," Rukia explained. "I've been wondering if we were moving too slowly in our relationship. But we talked it over, and guess what? Ichigo promised that one day, we'll get married for sure!"

"We're engaged to be engaged," Ichigo announced. "I got on one knee and everything. It was kind of cool."

Nel clapped. "That's wonderful! Is there a ring?"

"We're not _really_ engaged," Rukia said, rolling her eyes. "It was just a promise from Ichigo that we'll get that far. And I promised that I'll do my half to make our relationship work out to that point."

Halibel handed over the tea mugs, beaming. "I'm so glad to hear that."

"Yup." Rukia took a sip. "Honestly, Halibel, the wedding is geting close, and I need to do my maid of honor duties! Isn't it about time we set a date to go dress shopping?"

"I can't argue with that," Halibel said. "We'll figure something out."

Grimmjow, meanwhile, crept for the door, wrenched it open and made his escape. He shut it behind him and scampered onto the sidewalk and to safety. "Whew," he said out loud, wiping his brow. "I'd hate to get caught in the middle of _that_ crowd. Hey, wait a minute..."

He looked down at his bare chest.

His shirt was still back at the apartment.

Taking a cab back home to Ichigo and Rukia's house was pretty awkward in light of that!

*o*o*o*o*

"A bowling alley? You're killing me, Uryu!" Keigo whined as he, Ichigo, Uryu, Chad, and Mizuiro scoped out the place. "This is _not_ the place for Grimmjow's bachelor party. Unless you want to put him to sleep."

"I heard that," the guy behind the counter said with a scowl.

"Yeah? What about it?" Keigo taunted him.

Uryu tugged Keigo away from the grouchy employee. "You're not helping, Keigo."

"Well, neither are you, man," Keigo retorted. "Grimmjow can do better than this."

"Fine." Uryu went red. "What's your suggestion? And _don't_ suggest that peep show place down the road. It's -"

"Perfect," Keigo sighed, spreading his arms as though welcoming descending angels.

"We're not taking Grimmjow to a seedy place like that, Mr. Asano," Mizuiro said coolly.

Keigo made a face. "You're doing it again! Calling me 'Mr. Asano' when you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad," Mizuiro said calmly. At least, he was calm on the _outside_.

Chad cleared his throat. "Guys -"

"Can it, Chad!" Keigo piped up. "We need someplace thrilling! Someplace that Grimmjow will remember forever! Hey, how long is a plane flight to Las Vegas?"

"Gee, a trip across the Pacific Ocean to the American Southwest?" Ichigo said, rolling his eyes. "It's just a short hop. No big deal."

"Wait, really?" Keigo asked eagerly.

Ichigo kicked Keigo's shin. "Look at a globe for once, you buffoon!"

Chad cleared his throat again. "Guys -"

"Nothing raunchy or shady," Uryu insisted. "I don't want to end up in the back of a police cruiser. And I couldn't face the girls if we all came back from something unsavory."

"Hey, you just _know_ Bambietta is gonna hire male strippers for the girls' party," Keigo said with a wink.

Uryu flinched. "Sh-she wouldn't!"

"Pretty sure she would, buddy," Ichigo said with a grin. "She once called chippendales 'a celebration of the male form'."

Uryu glanced away. "I never heard that..."

Chad cleared his throat again. "Guys."

Keigo threw his hands up. "What do you want, Chad?!"

Chad pointed. "It's Mr. Urahara."

"Huh?" Ichigo whirled around and found his boss stepping up to the party.

"Afternoon, guys," Kisuke greeted. "What are you up to?"

"How did you even find us?" Ichigo cried. Then he narrowed his eyes. "Wait, I bet you've been following us!"

Kisuke shrugged. "Kind of. I know what you're up to. And I wanna help out."

"It's _our_ job!" Keigo whined.

"I know an indie band coming to town to perform next week," Kisuke said brightly. "They're really good, some real up and comers. I can get you all and Grimmjow front-row seats and free drinks all night. How's that for a bachelor party?"

Keigo embraced him. "You're my hero!"

Mizuiro raised his eyebrows. "Hey, there's gotta be a catch..."

"Well..." Kisuke hesitated. "The bandmates need help moving their stuff, and getting food, and getting their beer, and getting their outfits."

Ichigo scowled. "So, we're their support crew?"

"Hey, it's for a good cause," Kisuke told him. "I bet Grimmjow will love it. They do a lot of covers. I can ask them to cover a few Pantera and Metallica songs."

Ichigo glanced at the other guys. "Honestly, it's the best plan we have."

"What band is it?" Uryu asked cautiously.

"The Bastard Eagles. Their frontman, Izuru Kira, is a cool guy," Kisuke said eagerly. "Wait 'till you hear them perform!"

"We'll do it," Keigo declared. "Show of hands, guys."

Everyone raised their hands.

"All set!" Kisuke said, clapping his hands together. "I'll tell Ichigo the details later, when we're closer to showtime. I can't wait!"

Chuckling to himself, Kisuke swaggered away.

"Lucky we met him," Chad commented.

"I'll count us lucky _after_ we get the front-row seats we were promised," Uryu said grimly. "Not before."

Meanwhile, Ichigo texted Grimmjow. _Kisuke set us up with a fantastic bachelor party! At least, part of one. You're gonna have a great time!_

 _ **From: Grimmjow.**_ _Whoa, that's awesome. Looking forward to it!_

Ichigo nodded and pocketed his phone. _Let's see the ladies top that!_ he thought smugly.

Knowing Rukia, she probably would, though...


	15. Chapter 15

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 15: Rukia's Time to Shine as Maid of Honor (until fresh competition comes along)**

"Rukia, this place is wonderful!" Halibel exclaimed when the maid of honor took her downtown on Tuesday afternoon to a quaint place called The Bridal Emporium. On racks, display stands, and mannequins hung all kinds of bridal gowns, veils, shoes, and bridesmaid dresses of all shapes, sizes, colors, and prices. A few other ladies were in here too, and quiet classical music played on overhead speakers.

Rukia nodded, arms folded. "You deserve the best, you know. Now you'll see why you made me maid of honor."

"Because you're my best friend."

"Well, that too," Rukia said with a wide grin. "The main reason is because I'm classy as all hell!"

"We'll see about that," another woman's voice teased her. From behind a display rack emerged a dark-skinned lady with a long ponytail of purple hair. Her cat-yellow eyes danced with glee. "You'll have to prove it to me, little missy."

Rukia swallowed. "Wh-who are you?"

"Me?" The woman twirled in place. "Fashion designer, shop owner, chef, animal groomer, and lover of all things feline: Yoruichi Shihoin!" She stopped and spread her arms wide as though expecting applause. Instead, she got incredulous looks.

Yoruichi lowered her arms with a sigh. "One of these days, they'll clap for me..."

Halibel smiled and smoothed her dark red sundress. "I'm Halibel Tier, and this is my friend and maid of honor, Rukia Kuchiki. I'm getting married July 20th, and I was hoping -"

"Leave it to me," Yoruichi said, pointing at the bride-to-be. "I'll make sure you're spectacular! Guaranteed."

"Hey, I can help," Rukia insisted.

Yoruichi patted Rukia's head. "Maybe a little bit."

Rukia growled and stomped a foot. "More than a little, if I have anything to say about it."

"Right, right. Down to business." Yoruichi clapped her hands together. "First, measurements. Join me in the back room, girls, and we'll get started."

So, Halibel and Rukia stood still in the next room as Yoruichi applied a tape measure to every square inch of their figures. "How many bridesmaids do you have?" Yoruichi asked.

"Four, not counting Rukia," Halibel said as Yoruichi measured around her hips. "Orihime, Tatsuki, Bambietta, and Nelliel."

"Oh, I know those names," Yoruichi commented. "They've all come in here one by one to try and figure out the best dress for you. But since you weren't with them, I couldn't help them very much. All I did was take their measurements."

Halibel smiled. "It just means they care. And it helps that their measurements are already done."

Rukia grunted, a sour look on her face as Yoruichi measured her arm length. "I swear, if those girls try to do my job for me one more time..."

"All done," Yoruichi said, putting her tape measure away. "So, what color scheme and fabrics would you prefer for the bridesmaid dresses?"

Halibel and Rukia exchanged glances. "We... haven't really decided," Halibel admitted. "I'm not sure what to say."

"Then I'll be back with my recommendations," Yoruichi said. "Wait here."

She went back to the sales floor.

Halibel made a nervous giggle. "Honestly, there's a lot we still need to figure out."

"I know," Rukia admitted. "I hope this doesn't cost too much. We still need to cover stuff like catering, a photographer, the cake, the groomsmen's suits, the rings, decorations..."

Halibel patted Rukia's back. "I'm sure we'll figure it out. There's bound to be some budget-friendly ways to get some of those things."

"I'll find them," Rukia said, a fire in her eyes. "I'll do it all, no matter what! I swear it!" She swept her arms wide for emphasis, just as Yoruichi came back with an armful of dresses.

"Careful!" Yoruichi cried as Ruklia's hands knocked the dresses to the floor. "You rip these, and you buy 'em."

"Crap." Rukia went red.

"Anyway..." Yoruichi picked up the dresses and handed one over. "How about this? Silver with gold trim."

Halibel tested the fabric in her hands. "I dunno..."

"Next one!" Yoruichi offered a sky-blue gown with lacy white trim.

Halibel shook her head.

"Ooooooh, what about _that_ one?" Rukia asked, pointing at one.

Yoruichi grinned wickedly. "I got that one as a gag. No way could any bridesmaid wear it."

"You scheming -!" Rukia curled her fingers into claws.

"Or this one?" Yoruichi asked, offering another option.

"No thanks," Halibel said. "What about that one... no, I don't like the trim..."

They went through the whole selection without settling on a gown. "Well, let's move on to the bridal gowns and get back to this," Yoruichi suggested. "Let's get back to the sales floor and -"

"Follow me!" Rukia shot out of the room like a missile, leaving Yoruichi in her dust. Rukia hopped from one display to another like a rabbit, and she pointed at one bridal gown on a mannequin near the east wall. "Try this one, Halibel!"

Yoruichi cocked her head. "I dunno. With Halibel's figure, I'm not sure -"

"It's all right. No harm in trying, right?" Halibel told Yoruichi with a smile.

Yoruichi shrugged. "Whatever. Let's see if shorty here is on to something. Follow me to the fitting rooms..."

She got a copy of the chosen dress, and Rukia stood impatiently as Halibel tried it on. "It's perfect, right?" Rukia asked eagerly. "Right? Tell me!"

"I'm still working on it," came Halibel's voice from behind the door. "It's an odd fit in some places..."

"Told you," Yoruichi told Rukia with a taunting smile.

Rukia glared back.

Halibel opened the door, and there stood the bride... in a lacy white gown that clearly didn't suit her figure.

"Okay, never mind," Rukia admitted. "There's more to choose from."

Yoruichi found a second one, and though it fit better, Halibel decided against it. Then Rukia found a third one, but it, too, got a veto.

"We'll find the perfect fit eventually!" Yoruichi said as she offered her eighth recommendation. "My pride is on the line here."

"Well, so is mine," Rukia told her.

"Really? Is this _your_ store?"

"Did Halibel make _you_ her maid of honor?"

"Nice try, shorty."

"Okay, I think I found the best one!" Halibel said happily, and she opened the fitting room door. She went pink as she smiled widely. "See?"

Rukia gasped, her hands over her mouth. "It's fantastic! You look wonderful, Halibel! Wait... who recommended it? I forgot."

Yoruichi shrugged.

"You both helped me just fine," Halibel said. "Yoruichi, how much for this one?"

"Hmmmmmmm..." Yoruichi checked the price tag. "This one costs -"

She stated a number that Rukia was sure wasn't possible.

Halibel froze. "Wh-what?! Are you sure?"

"I'm the businesswoman here," Yoruichi said smugly. "What do you say, Halibel? Are you game?"

"I just want to take this thing off before I accidentally rip something," Halibel moaned.

So, Halibel tried another few dresses, but neither she nor Rukia could find the perfect combination of price and beauty.

"Whew. Tough customers, huh?" Yoruichi said, undaunted. "Y'know, I'm open to a little haggling. I can knock off 2% from that last one."

Halibel shook her head. "It's still too much for me. I'd have to pool my money with my fiance to buy it, and we'd only have pocket change left for everything else in the wedding."

"I'll see what I can do," Yoruichi said, and she went into her office.

Halibel changed back into her everyday clothes and sat on a nearby chair. "Rukia, what are we going to do? Buying a gown is going to set me way back on finances, and there's still so much to work on!" She clenched her fists in her lap. "I think I overestimated myself."

Rukia sat on a chair next to Halibel's and lay a hand on her friend's thigh. "Relax, we'll work it out, like you said earlier," she said. "I mean, you've got me!"

Halibel unclenched her fists and smiled. "Thanks, Rukia. But I still don't know how we'll afford everything. It's almost July and we haven't figured much out yet."

"Maybe a fundraiser," Rukia suggested. "I mean, I think Nelliel or Tatsuki said that before, but I could actually run one. Or we could borrow some stuff or get favors from friends. There's all kinds of ways to save money."

Halibel giggled.

Rukia frowned. "Okay, what was so darn funny?"

"Bambi or Nelliel would give you so much hell for complaining about money woes," Halibel teased her. "Since your family is loaded, I mean."

Rukia flushed. "I'm not mooching off of my grandfather's bank account! Like I told Yoruichi, my pride is on the line! And besides, I don't want to burden the Kuchiki family. I already told that to my brother and grandfather."

"Don't worry, I totally understand," Halibel assured her. "Well, if we spread the expenses wide enough among our circle of friends, it's not too big a strain on any one person."

"Believe me, the girls and I are trying," Rukia said. "But for big stuff like the dresses and suits and rings, that's the real headache."

Yoruichi came back from her office. "Good news, girls," she said, clapping her hands together. "For the seventh dress that we tried, I can remove some of the extra lace and reduce the price by 3%."

"Thank you," Halibel said, smiling. "How much would that be?"

Yoruichi consulted her clipboard. "The total is now 240,360 yen."

Rukia winced. "Suddenly, I don't mind draining my grandfather's bank account dry."

Yoruichi blinked. "Huh?"

Rukia stiffened her back and cleared her throat. "Just kidding. But seriously, I think the bride and I will have to talk this over some other time."

"I'm sure we'll figure this out next time," Halibel told Yoruichi politely, standing up. "Thank you for all your help."

Yoruichi shrugged. "Come back anytime. But the clock's ticking. Some other bride might snap up that discounted dress."

"Like we need any more pressure," Rukia complained. "Let's go, Halibel."

*o*o*o*o*

"How did it go, miss blushing bride?" Nelliel asked when Halibel came back home to their apartment. She lounged on the couch with a bag of potato chips, watching a sitcom at way too high a volume.

"Turn that down!" Halibel snapped. Then she relaxed. "Sorry, Nel."

Nel muted the TV and sat up so Halibel could join her on the couch. "Did dress shopping go badly, then?"

Halibel sighed and ran her hands over her face. "My gown will cost me a lot no matter what I do. And there's still all the bridesmaid dresses. Then everything else for the wedding..."

Nel wrapped her arms around Halibel in her trademark comfort hug. "Hey, you've still got me," she said. "Make me the maid of honor, and I'll solve everything." She smiled. "Kidding. But seriously, let me know what you need, and I'll try my best. I'll even dig in a dumpster for you!"

"Thanks, Nel. You always go the extra mile." Halibel patted Nel's thigh. "Why don't we just have a relaxing evening. My mind is all worn out."

"Okay, but first, we order Thai food, and lots of it," Nel demanded.

"All right."

"And second, tell me what you think of this!" Nel smiled and picked up her tiny laptop. She opened up the web browser, which showed an info page for a nearby bar and club called Wild Vixens Bar.

Halibel blinked. "What's this?"

"Bambi and I found this perfect place for your bachelorette party!" Nel announced happily. "Pink and purple neon lights! Huge variety of drinks at the bar! Shirtless male bartenders after 9:00 PM! A dance floor with great lighting! And best of all..." She gave the thumbs-up. "Bambi called them and arranged for decorations for your party! She and her sister Candice bought some stuff, too. It'll look great!"

Halibel beamed. "That's amazing! I can't wait."

"Yeah, the party's on Friday, starting at 8:00 PM," Nel went on. "And at 9:30, the male strippers come in."

Halibel yelped. "The _what_?"

Nel giggled. "Give me a break. You just _know_ Grimmjow and the guys are gonna hire strippers at their party."

"Actually, Grimmjow told me they're going to see an indy band play a gig."

Nel made a skeptical noise. "Yeah, right."

"My fiance isn't going to look at naked girls, Nel!" Halibel said hotly. "He wouldn't!"

"What a shame," Nel said. "Because _we're_ gonna have strippers!"

Halibel snorted with amusement. "And I'm willing to bet that I can't talk you and the Basterbine sisters out of this."

"Exactly. In fact, Bambi and Candice and I visited the club in person yesterday," Nel said cheerily. "The owner, she's this fantastic lady who promised us a great night no matter what."

"You met the owner?"

"Yeah." Nel grinned. "This lady named Yoruichi Shihoin. She's awesome."

Halibel clapped a hand over her face. "She also owns the dress shop that Rukia and I went to today! This is going to be so awkward..."

"It's okay, Halibel. When the male strippers do their thing, you'll both enjoy the show and become friends."

"Gee, that's likely," Halibel retorted. She got out her phone. "Okay, I'll order dinner. Try to be quiet for three consecutive minutes, if you can..."


	16. Chapter 16

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 16: Grimmjow the Errand Boy (it's even less glamorous than it sounds)**

Grimmjow was in good spirits when he and Ichigo said good-bye to Rukia and took a cab downtown to a music club called Big Kazu's Downtown Club. "They'd better take requests," Grimmjow said in the cab's back seat as the sun started to set. It was already 7:25 PM. "I can think of some great songs they could play."

"Yeah, I can think of some Van Halen hits they could do," Ichigo said with a grin. "This is gonna be a hell of a party, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow nodded. "You're the best for doing this for me. Oh, hang on..." He checked his phone.

 _ **From: Halibel.**_ _Okay, the girls and I are on the way to my bachelorette party! I can't wait!_

Grimmjow typed in: _Have a good time, babe. See you tomorrow!_ and put his phone away. "What a night this is gonna be..."

When he and Ichigo got out of the cab, they met Uryu, Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro in front of the club... plus Kisuke.

"There you fellas are," Kisuke said cheerily. "Now that we're all here, we can get to work."

Grimmjow sighed. "Oh yeah, I forgot about helping the band. Fine."

"Chin up, Grimmjow," Kisuke said. He stepped into the club and waved a hand. "Follow me. This'll just take a minute..."

A staff member allowed the seven of them into the backstage, where Izuru Kira and four other guys were hanging out.

"Finally," Kira said, arms folded. Tonight, he was in an ensemble of black leather clothes with silver studs and buckles, plus matching boots and red T-shirt. "We're gonna need some help getting our gear in here. I hope you guys can carry a heavy load."

"Just lead the way," Chad rumbled.

"Good. C'mon." Kira slouched off and led the party to the back alley, where a shiny blue van was parked, its back doors open. Lots of band stuff was packed in there. "Not much time 'till we gotta perform," Kira said. "Hurry."

Rolling his eyes, Grimmjow picked up a piece of the drum set and lugged it slowly and carefully back into the club and to the stage, while Keigo carried the hi-hat and Ichigo and Chad dragged along an amplifier. Kira's band, the Bastard Eagles, seriously needed a lot of stuff! Grimmjow felt himself breaking into a sweat as he kept carrying heavy loads to the stage, and his temper was truly tested when Kira stamped a foot.

"Crap! We forgot the bass guitar's other amp!" Kira cursed.

"Two amps...?" Mizuiro asked vaguely.

"Where is it?" Uryu asked, wiping his brow.

"Back at the hotel," Kira said. He dug into his skinny jeans' pocket and handed over some keys and a hotel room card. "Do me a solid and get it, will you? Room 204."

Kisuke took the keys. "Of course! Anything for a friend." Then, ignoring everyone's furious looks, Kisuke ushered the six boys into Kira's van and drove off.

"This isn't what we signed up for, Mr. Urahara!" Keigo whined in the back seat.

"Relax, Mr. Asano," Kisuke said as he roared recklessly through a yellow light. Cars honked at him. "It's just one setback. In twenty minutes, tops, we'll have front-row seats of the Bastard Eagles's biggest performance yet."

"I look forward to it," Chad said simply.

Ichigo's phone chimed. "One sec..." He read the text message and grinned. "Haha, Rukia and the other girls are already tipsy at the bachelorette party."

"What? How can you tell?" Uryu demanded.

"Because Rukia said so," Ichigo said with a chuckle.

Keigo swiped the phone. "Let me see!" Then he typed something in. "Send... me... a... photo... as... proof," he muttered as he typed. He sent the message.

Ichigo snatched his phone back. "Dude! Not your conversation!" Then he and Grimmjow stared in shock when Rukia indeed sent a group selfie of all the girls at a neon-lit dance club and bar. There were plenty of empty shot glasses around, and the girls' hair was getting messy.

"They're having a better time than I am," Keigo muttered.

"Hey, we're here," Kisuke announced, pulling up to the Triple Maple hotel. "Let's hurry and get that amp."

Feeling like a total tool, Grimmjow helped Kisuke lug the heavy amp out of Kira's room, down the elevator, and through the fancy lobby and into the van. It was lucky that Chad and his giant biceps were here to help!

Then Kisuke's phone rang. "Hello?" he answered. "Yes, we got the amp. It's in the van... oh? I understand. We're on it." Then he hung up.

Keigo pointed an accusing finger at Kisuke. "This had better not be another errand!"

"Well, no," Kisuke said evasively. "It's a food run!"

Grimmjow threw up his hands. "How is that better?!"

"Can't play on an empty stomach," Kisuke said, climbing back into the van's driver seat. "Come on, there's a Burger King just down the road." He started up the engine, and once everyone climbed back in, they were off.

This time, Uryu's cell phone chimed, and when he checked the screen, he jumped and hastily covered the screen. "N-no one look!" he yelped, going red.

"Why? What is it?" Ichigo asked slyly.

"I said nothing!" Uryu cried.

"It's gotta be _something_ ," Ichigo said, and he took Uryu's phone. As soon as he saw the screen, he fumbled and dropped the phone. "Whoa! I swear I didn't mean to look!"

"What was it?" Grimmjow asked eagerly.

Uryu picked up his phone. "Something personal."

"It's Bambietta laying on a table and letting some random guy do shots out of her belly button," Mizuiro said calmly.

Uryu sputtered. "How do you know that?!"

Mizuiro showed him. "Because Nel just sent it to me, too."

Then Ichigo's, Keigo's, Chad's, and Grimmjow's phones all chimed, too, with the same photo.

"D-delete that!" Uryu hollered. "I'm calling Bambi right now..."

"No!" Keigo retorted. "Let them have their fun."

But Uryu was already on the phone. "Hi, honey," he said with forced patience. "Look, about that photo... uh-huh... yes, I know you sent it to the others. They're here with me... yes... what? I never said that!"

Then he hung up. "Long story short: there's no stopping her," he said, hanging his head.

Keigo patted Uryu's back. "I bet she'll make it up to you."

Uryu groaned. "I just want this night to be over..."

"Don't talk like that. We're just getting started!" Kisuke said, pulling up to Burger King. "I'll be right back." He ran into the lobby.

"We can still turn this night around," Grimmjow said. "Relax, Uryu. Think of the front-row seats!" He jumped when his phone rang. He picked it up. "Hello?"

"Kiiiiiiitty-boy!" came Halibel's voice, and she and the other girls in the background laughed and giggled. "Have you ever had birthday cake-flavored vodka? I didn't even know that existed until I had some! It's like a cake you can drink! Woo-hoo!"

Grimmjow held the phone an inch from his ear as Halibel's loud voice rattled his eardrum. He was horribly aware of the other five guys watching him. "I'm glad you're having a good time," he said, "but -"

"Look! Rukia and Yoruichi are doing another dance-off!" Halibel hooted. "The score's even so far, but if Rukia dances real good, she'll get my bride dress for 25% off! It's a deal! It's like a game show! A game show _that I'm in right now!"_

Grimmjow's mind raced. "Th-that's great, babe. Just pace your drinks, okay? Take it slow."

"Heeeeeeey, you can't tell me what to do!" Halibel said woozily. "I'm the bride!"

"I know," Grimmjow said patiently. "Just think about next morning. You don't wanna feel too horrible."

" _You_ don't wanna feel horrible!" Halibel retorted with a hiccup. There was some cheering in the background. "Oh! Oh! Rukia's doing a really fancy move! Can you see it, Grimmjow?"

"No, I'm on the phone."

"Oh yeah. Sorry! I'll just watch it for you!" came Halibel's voice. "Okay, bye-bye, kitty!" And she hung up.

Grimmjow stared at his phone. "I've _never_ heard her drunk like that before," he commented. He felt vaguely weird about it.

"I bet Bambietta shoved a bottle of sake in her mouth," Mizuiro said. "You know how she is."

"Just a minute! She wouldn't... oh yeah. Maybe she would," Uryu said.

Kisuke finally came back with a bunch of bags. "Okay, here comes the food!" Kisuke sang, firing up the van's engine. "Who's ready to rock and roll?"

Finally, Grimmjow and the others delivered the bass amp and food to the Bastard Eagles, but as soon as they did, a band member asked Uryu to sew a tear in his jeans. Then another guy made Ichigo act like a bouncer and throw out a guest who had forced his way in. Then things got _really_ awkward when Grimmjow and Uryu were asked to throw out a second, unruly club patron, and that guy slugged both Uryu and Grimmjow in the gut.

"N... no!" Uryu curled on the floor, hands on his belly. Grimmjow staggered back, blinking, his heart racing. He knew how to fight, but this patron was a big guy -

"Okay, that's enough." Chad didn't raise his voice, but his knock-out punch was like a freight train on the unruly guest's temple, and Chad threw him out like a sack of potatoes.

The cherry on this particular sundae was when the club owner witnessed all this and had Uryu, Grimmjow, and Chad detained for fighting and threatened to call the cops.

"We're innocent!" Uryu cried in the owner's offce.

"Yeah. We're not the bad guys," Grimmjow argued. He could hear the Bastard Eagles's music through the walls. _I'm missing the concert!_

"All I saw was four punks in a fight," the owner snapped. "And your big friend here knocked that other guy on his arse. I can tell he's with you. I should get all of you hauled out of here."

It took a solid half hour to convince the owner that Chad had acted appropriately, and when Grimmjow, Chad, and Uryu finally joined the crowd to hear the band play, Kira announced, "Well, that's all for tonight. How did you all like the show?"

The crowd roared.

"We're the Bastard Eagles!" Kira roared, and he strummed a chord on his guitar. "We'll be playin' at the Rock-a-Thon Club in Yokohama next week. See ya later, Karakura Town!"

And with that, the show was over.

Grimmjow glumly turned to Ichigo, Keigo, and Mizuiro. "Please tell me that at least you guys heard them play."

Ichigo made a face. "No, we didn't. Turns out Kira's amp had a short circuit, so we and Kisuke drove all the way across town to get it fixed! We only heard the last half of their last song."

Grimmjow ran his hands over his face. "So much for front-row seats."

He barely spoke when Izuru Kira joined them. "So, pretty rad show, huh?" he said, out of breath. "Thanks for your help, guys."

"We missed the whole show!" Keigo cried.

Kira scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. We sometimes get a lot of technical issues."

"Imagine that," Uryu muttered.

Kira dug around in his pockets. "Look, how about this: an authentic Bastard Eagles guitar pick for each of you. Those'll be your front-row tickets to any future show of ours." He handed out a pick to each member of Grimmjow's party.

Grimmjow pocketed the pick. "Thanks. Well, have a good night."

When and Kisuke left, Grimmjow cleared his throat. "Let's all meet at Ichigo's amd my house."

Uryu frowned. "I'd rather just go home..."

"There's lots of beer," Ichigo mentioned.

*o*o*o*o*

Fifteen minutes later, all six of them sat together on the couch and chairs in Ichigo's living room, watching a re-run of _Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan_ on Rukia's massive flat-screen TV, and all six clinked their beer bottles together.

"To the bride and groom," Ichigo said, and everyone echoed him.

"This is very nice," Uryu said happily. "Nice and quiet, just us friends, and a few cold drinks. It's a good evening after all."

Chad drank two beers at once and let out an earth-shuddering belch. "Mmmmmm," he said in agreement.

"Oh. Oh!" Ichigo said, pointing at the TV. "This is a classic scene. Look!"

On the TV, Captain Kirk roared his grief and fury at Khan over the death of his greatest friend.

"Ichigo," Grimmjow said, opening another beer, "if anyone ever kills you, I'll make sure I avenge you just like that."

"I'll do the same," Ichigo said. "I swear on my honor."

Keigo grinned. "Say that in Klingon."

Ichigo took a drink. "Why?"

"Because it's funny."

"Fine." Ichigo cleared his throat and made his voice deep and rough. _"Hu'tegh batlh 'oH 'Ip jIH!"_

Keigo pressed a button on his phone. "There, I got it."

Grimmjow scowled. "Got what?"

"I'm putting Ichigo's declaration of honor on Snapchat," Keigo said with a grin. "I love posting random stuff like that."

Grimmjow burst out laughing. "You're a sneaky one."

Then the front door burst open and Rukia stumbled in. She fell flat on her face and giggled into the carpet.

Ichigo scrambled over to his girlfriend. "Honey, are you okay?"

"I won," Rukia said woozily. "For my honor, I have won!"

"Hey, say that in Klingon, too!" Keigo called out.

"Forget it." Ichigo helped Rukia to her feet. "Party's over, guys. Thanks for coming over." He gently walked Rukia to their bedroom.

Just as Keigo, Mizuiro, Chad, and Uryu were leaving, Grimmjow motioned to Keigo. "By the way," he said, "what Rukia said translates as: _batlh Qapta' jIH!_ "

Keigo grinned. "You guys crack me up. Have a good night."

Grimmjow shut the door after his guests left. He suddenly felt exhausted.

 _That's enough craziness for one night,_ he thought as he found Pantera the cat and fed her some treats. _And there's still all the business of planning the wedding... our work is never done. I hope Halibel is having a better night than me._

He lay on his bed and tried to picture Halibel's bachelorette party. The image of his fiancee smiling and having fun made him smile, too.

 _Damn, I'm really lucky..._


	17. Chapter 17

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 17: Bottoms Up at the Wild Vixens Bar and Club! (it's a night to remember, if you can actually remember it)**

"Here we are, ladies," Ginrei said politely when he pulled up at the Wild Vixens bar and club downtown at 7:30 Tuesday evening. His silver Toyota was easily roomy enough for five excited girls. "Have a good time, all right?"

"We will, Mr. Kuchiki. Thank you," Halibel said, and she, Rukia, Nelliel, Bambietta, and Candice climbed out and into the cool evening air on the crowded sidewalk. Ginrei drove off and vanished into the traffic.

"This is where the fun starts, Halibel," Bambi declared, spreading her arms wide with a big smile. "Tonight's all about you. And drinks! And showing the lame people in the club how to _really_ dance!" She did a double high-five with Candice.

Halibel smiled. "Thanks so much for doing this for me."

"You're welcome," Rukia said smugly. "It was mostly me who set this up."

"Was not!" Bambi shot back.

Rukia grinned. "Really? Who's the one who asked her grandfather to drive us all out here?"

Bambi stuck out her tongue. "Jeez, this maid of honor thing is really getting to your head."

As the girls went back and forth, Halibel checked her phone. Already, Grimmjow had responded to her text message. _**From: Grimmjow.**_ _Have a good time, babe. See you tomorrow!_

"Come on, I bet Orihime and Tatsuki are already in the club," Nelliel said, waving her arms. "Less arguing and more partying!"

So, the five girls stepped into the club, and Halibel felt her eardrums throbbing from the loud, beat-heavy, trendy music blasting from the speakers. It was just like the picture Nel had shown her; lovely pink and purple neon lights along the walls, a huge dance floor, a well-stocked and crowded bar, and lots of cool college kids gyrating and dancing everywhere.

Halibel beamed. "It's party central!"

"Yeah. But first, we gotta meet the other two girls and get our drink on," Rukia said, rubbing her hands together. Her violet eyes scanned the crowd. "There. At the bar!" She pointed, and the five girls joined Orihime and Tatsuki at the crowd around the bar.

Orihime was scratching her head. "I just don't get why there's a drink called sex on the beach. That's a really R-rated name."

Tatsuki shrugged. "It's no big deal, Orihime. You wanna get one, or order something else?"

Orihime tapped her chin with a finger. "What's a screwdriver?"

"It's a -"

"Or tequila sunrise?"

"Well -"

Bambi tackle-hugged Orihime from behind. "Why not order them all? I'll buy the first round! Whoo hoo!"

Tatsuki blinked. "You never make a quiet entrance, do you?"

"Barkeeper!" Bambi cried, waving a hand. "Let's get a screwdriver, sex on the beach, a tequila sunrise, a manhattan, and -"

Somehow, Bambi fought her way through the crowd and got all the drinks together. Halibel stood in the circle of seven girls and raised her drink with the others. "To the bride!" Rukia cried, and all the girls downed their drinks.

"Mmmmmm!" Halibel could hardly believe her taste buds; this vodka shot tasted just like... a cake?  
"It's birthday cake-flavored vodka," Bambi explained after she downed her manhattan. "D'you like it?"

Halibel smacked her lips. "I'd like another, if that's okay."

"Anything's okay. You're the bride!" Bambi fetched another, and Halibel downed that, too. Then a third.

"Whoa, slow down," Tatsuki said, watching with awe. "Vodka hits people pretty hard."

"Naw, naw," a woozy Candice said, draping an arm over Tatsuki's shoulders. She was already pink in the face from booze. "We should all speed up and catch up to her. Hey, Nel! Let's split the next round!"

At first, Halibel wondered if Tatsuki had a point about her pacing. Then she realized that this was _awesome_! More cake vodka! It was super-duper!

She had to share the good news!

"Who are you calling?" Rukia hollered over the music, totally tipsy by now as she held an empty shotglass.

Halibel grinned. "Grimmy! He's gotta know about this!" She held her phone up to her ear.

"Hold that thought," Tatsuki said, swiping the phone. She canceled the call and stuffed the phone back into Halibel's small purse. "Wait until you clear your head a bit."

"Ha! This feels fantastic!" Rukia said with a hiccup, typing into her phone. "I'm telling Ichigo what a great time we're having!"

"Good idea!" Candice hollered.

Halibel and the others crowded around Rukia's phone, and a minute later, Ichigo texted back: _Send me a photo as proof._

"Ooooooh," Nel said eagerly. "He's so naughty!"

Rukia didn't waste any time; she took a group selfie and sent it. "There! Proof!" she declared. "Victory!"

Ten minutes and a few drinks later, Halibel realized that Bambi was missing. "Hey, where's that naggy girl with the hat?" Halibel cried. "Y'know, the one who looks like Candice?"

"Who, Bambi?" Candice said. "I dunno! Haha!"

Then Tatsuki looked over Halibel's shoulder. "Oh, for crap's sake..."

"Huh?" Halibel felt dizzy when she turned to see what Tatsuki was making such a fuss about. She burst out laughing at the sight: Bambi, laying flat on a table with her shirt lifted, and some random hot guy doing a shot straight from her belly button!

Classic!

Wait, wasn't that wrong? It was hard to decide...

Nel typed something in her phone. "I totally took a photo and sent it to Uryu," she said with a giggle. "I bet he'll be mad!"

"Then you shouldn't have sent it!" Tatsuki snapped.

Orihime patted Tatsuki's shoulders. "It's all right," she said woozily. "Let the universe decide."

Tatsuki made a face. "Huh...?"

"Heck. I'll send it to all the guys!" Nel added.

Halibel laughed nervously. "I hope they won't be upset," she said.

She barely spoke when Bambi got back on her feet and put her phone to her ear. "Oh, hi, honey!" she said cheerily. "It's so sweet of you to call me!"

"Here comes the fun," Rukia said, watching eagerly.

Bambi nodded at whatever Uryu was saying. "Hey, we're having a great time. Are you happy for us? ... yeah, Halibel's having a fantastic time. Turns out she loves vodka! I told you she'd like it! ... Hey, Nel told me she sent the photo to the other guys, in case you were wondering... Don't forget, you said I could do whatever I want tonight and get away with it... you did too say that! Kind of... yes... I love you too, Uryu. Bye-bye!" She hung up.

"Everything okay?" Halibel asked.

Bambi nodded. "Yup! Now let's hit the dance floor!"

Once again, Halibel felt like she had entered an alcohol-fueled time warp, where one minute she was gyrating and whiring to the beat with her friends, and the next, she was at the bar again, then back at the dance floor, then standing in a corner with her cell phone at her ear.

"Kiiiiiiitty-boy!" Halibel said as the other girls laughed and giggled. "Have you ever had birthday cake-flavored vodka? I didn't even know that existed until I had some! It's like a cake you can drink! Woo-hoo!"

 _"I'm glad you're having a good time, but -"_ came Grimmjow's voice.

"Look! Rukia and Yoruichi are doing another dance-off!" Halibel hooted. "The score's even so far, but if Rukia dances real good, she'll get my bride dress for 25% off! It's a deal! It's like a game show! A game show _that I'm in right now!"_

Indeed, Rukia and Yoruichi, the club's owner, were halfway through a series of dance-offs to see who was the best lady out there on the dance floor. Funny, Halibel felt like she should have remembered that sooner... her memory had holes in it, that was for sure. Yes, Yoruichi and her friend Soi Fon had shown up, and Rukia challenged them to this dance-off. Yes, that's right...

 _"Th-that's great, babe,"_ Grimmjow said on the phone. _"Just pace your drinks, okay? Take it slow."_

"Heeeeeeey, you can't tell me what to do!" Halibel said woozily. She swayed on the spot. "I'm the bride!"

 _"I know,"_ Grimmjow said patiently. _"Just think about next morning. You don't wanna feel too horrible."_

" _You_ don't wanna feel horrible!" Halibel retorted with a hiccup. Her eyes widened as she beheld the newest spectacle out on the dance floor. "Oh! Oh! Rukia's doing a really fancy move! Can you see it, Grimmjow?"

 _"No, I'm on the phone."_

"Oh yeah. Sorry! I'll just watch it for you!" Halibel said with a giggle. "Okay, bye-bye, kitty!" And she hung up.

Bambi joined her. "Who did you call?" she asked loudly.

"Grimmjow!" Halibel said, giggling again.

"Oh yeah," Bambi said fondly. "He's such a big sweetheart, you know. I can't wait for you to marry him."

Halibel gasped. "I'm so glad! Thank you!" She enveloped Bambi in a tight hug, and they both nearly fell over. Whoops!

"Y'know, I hope Uryu wants to go the distance with me," Bambi said. "Like what Ichigo promised to Rukia! I wanna have my Uryu forever and ever!" She mimed hugging someone, giggling drunkenly.

"I know!" Halibel hollered over the music and loud crowds. "He's such a big sweetie, too. You should do something fun with him later!"

Bambi's eyes lit up. "I know just the thing!" Then she hiccuped. "Maybe after I sleep this off..."

Sometime later, Byakuya somehow appeared. What? Byakuya Kuchiki?! What was he doing here? Halibel asked about it.

Rukia burst out laughing. "I told him that there was an emergency and we needed to be picked up!" she told everyone. "But it was a trick! Now he has to stay here with us!"

"Apparently," Byakuya said, making a face. "Rukia, I don't appreciate being lied to." He smoothed his expensive suit vest. "And if anyone spills their drink on my clothes, or vomits on them, you will pay to have them dry-cleaned."

"Okie-dokie!" Rukia said, giving the peace sign.

Byakuya sighed.

"Oh! Wait a minute!" Orihime piped up. She patted Byakuya's stomach. "You should call Hisana and have her come here, too. She's such a great dancer!"

"Well, she is," Byakuya said cautiously. "But this isn't her sort of place."

"Noooooo! Call her!" Bambi cried. "She's so cool! And fun!"

"She's busy, anyway," Byakuya said, glancing away. "She won't be home until around 11:00 PM."

"What's the big deal?" Rukia slurred. "We'll just stay here until then, and she can come join us!"

"Yeah!" Halibel added. "She's gotta try some birthday cake-flavored vodka. It's the best!"

Byakuya shook his head. "I doubt it. My wife's favorite drink is Scotch and soda."

"What? For real?" Candice said, her eyes wide. "I never would have guessed!"

Byakuya merely shrugged.

Not long after that, Rukia dived back into her dance-off with Yoruichi and Soi Fon, and this time, Halibel joined her maid of honor a 2 vs 2 showdown! Halibel wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but it worked! Eventually, Yoruichi and Soi Fon had to admit defeat after the cheering crowds declared Halibel and Rukia the winner.

"Yes! Yes!" Halibel hugged Rukia tight as both girls jumped up and down with joy. "You're the best maid of honor ever! How does so much awesome fit into your tiny little body?"

"I dunno!" Rukia cried. "But it works!"

"Congrats," Yoruichi said, smiling. "Halibel, that's 25% off the dress that you liked best at my store. I'm sure you'll look wonderful on your wedding day. Grimmjow is one lucky chap."

Halibel nodded, and the motion made her dizzy all over again. "Thank you! Whew, I need to sit down..."

Byakuya elbowed his way through the crowd, a determined look on his face. "Okay, it's time you girls went home," he said.

"No! But Hisana isn't here yet!" Bambi argued.

"Ginrei drived you all here on the condition that a Kuchiki will decide when it's time to leave," Byakuya told her.

Rukia raised her hand. "Hey, I'm a Kuchiki! And I decree that we stay!"

Byakuya narrowed his eyes. "I mean a _sober_ Kuchiki. Rukia, Halibel, Bambietta, Candice, and Nelliel, please get into my car. There's room for everyone. Orihime, Tatsuki, Grimmjow's father will drive you to your apartment. Please get going."

"But... we're still partying!" Orihime protested, until she hung her head. "Okay, okay, Mr. Bossy-pants."

Byakuya smoothed his bow tie. "Yes, that's me. Let's go."

"Hisana! Big sister!" Rukia said into her cell phone. "Byakuya is trying to make us leave. He's ruining the fun! Come here and party with us!"

"Rukia, if you please..." Byakuya swiped Rukia's phone and ended the call. "I'll give this back in the morning, along with any hangover medicine or food you want."

"You're best and the worst at the same time, big brother," Rukia said woozily.

Halibel nodded and got dizzy again. Whoa. She needed to stop nodding or -

*o*o*o*o*

It was morning when Halibel blinked her eyes open, and she groaned from the magnificent headache she was in the middle of. She slowly sat up on her bed, aware that she had been changed into her nightie. Had Nel done that?

"Morning, miss bride," Nel mumbled, shuffling along in the hallway. Her sea-green hair was a mess, and she wore only an oversized T-shirt and her panties. "Sleep well? I didn't." She massaged her head.

Halibel cleared her throat; she was horribly thirsty. "I'm fine," she said quietly. "Just don't make any loud noises, okay?"

Nel waved to show she was listening, and shuffled her way into the kitchen.

Halibel checked her cell phone for all text messages and calls on it, and to her relief, nothing too horrible came up. Speaking of horrible things coming up... Halibel focused on the taste of her mouth. Good, she hadn't thrown up, but damn, that was a close call!

 _That settles it. Not another drink of alcohol until the wedding day!_ Halibel resolved. She slowly got up and joined Nel in the kitchen for a much-desired glass of water.

"Hey, let's take a break from wedding planner stuff," Halibel said after she downed her glass of water. "Okay?"

Nel nodded wearily. "I second that. I just wanna lie down and imagine a world where my head doesn't want to split in half." Then she lay on the couch and did just that.

"Hey," Halibel said.

Nel grunted.

"Thanks again, to all of you, for the fantastic party. I loved it."

"You're welcome."

It was a pretty quiet day after that.

Totally worth it!


	18. Chapter 18

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 18: Hiring a Real Pro for the Team (or at least, he calls himself that)**

Uryu looked up from his breakfast on Friday morning. "Bambi, honey, I haven't seen you this restless amd upset since that ice cream parlor down the street closed. Are you all right?"

Bambietta paused her anxious pacing for just a second, then sighed and ran her hands down her face. "Uryu, it's already July 5th! I mean, the bachelorette party went great, and by the sound of it, so did the bachelor party. But... well..."

"I'm listening."

Bambi spread her arms wide and made a face. "We're never gonna make it at this rate! No way in heck!" She slowly raised her voice in distress. "Think about it! Halibel sank most of her cash into her wedding gown, and that was with a huge 25% off discount at Yoruichi's shop. We still have to buy the bridesmaid dresses, and Grimmjow's tux, and your and Ichigo's suits, and the seating arrangement, and a photographer, caterer, baker for the cake, decorations, and silverware!"

Uryu nodded. "Let's not forget the rehearsal dinner."

Bambi shrieked in horror. "What! No! Why do we keep forgetting that?!" She paced up and down the living room, seizing her head. "Everything's ruined! We all kept goofing off, and now the schedule's a disaster! We'll need a miracle now!"

"A real miracle," came a grumpy girl's voice, "is a little quiet in the morning. C'mon, Bambi..."

Candice came shuffling in from the guest bedroom, her light green hair a mess, her eyes tired. She yawned. "Is there any breakfast?"

"A bit," Uryu said. "Looks like you had a fun night."

Candice rummaged around the kitchen to find the said breakfast. "I was at Chizuru's house party, remember? I gotta say, that girl knows how to throw a party..." She yawned again. "I'll go back to her place and find my bra later."

Uryu spat out his tea. "Do what?!"

"Just kidding," Candice said with a teasing smile.

Bambi pointed at Candice behind her back and mouthed _She's not!_

Uryu nodded and quietly resumed his breakfast.

"By the way," Candice said, putting bread in the toaster, "I heard what you were saying, Bambi. Hard not to."

"Hey, excuse me for being committed!" Bambi shot back, puffing out her chest. "Uryu and I are trying to figure something out here!"

Candice motioned with a hand. "No, dummy. I mean I know a guy who can help."

Bambi gasped. "Who? Who?!"

"Bring over Grimmjow and Halibel," Candice said with a smile, "and I'll show you."

*o*o*o*o*

"Oh man, this should be good," Grimmjow said in the back seat of the taxi with Halibel, Uryu, Bambi, and Candice. "Who's your friend, Candice?"

"He's a pro," Candice said proudly. "I know him from out of town, but he came here to work on another wedding. I thought I'd show you guys how he does his job."

"What's his name?" Halibel asked eagerly.

"His name is..." Candice said.

"Hanataro Yamada, professional photographer, amateur poet," the young man introduced himself ten minutes later at a traditional Shinto wedding on the outskirts of Karakura Town. He smiled and held up his camera. "Are you all Candice's friends? It's very nice to meet you!"

"What's up. I'm Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, groom-to-be," Grimmjow introduced himself, offering a hand. Hanataro shook it... with a weak grip.

"I'm Halibel Tier, bride-to-be," Halibel said brightly, doing a little bow. "Candice said all kinds of wonderful things about you, Hanataro."

Hanataro made a shy chuckle. "Oh, I'm just a guy with a camera, that's all."

Candice thumped Hanataro on the back. "C'mon, silly, buck up! You're fantastic. It's not any guy who can photograph _me_ and not screw it up."

"Oh, right. I had fun doing that shoot," Hanataro said happily.

Bambi made an unimpressed grunt and folded her arms. "No, this won't do."

Uryu blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I was hoping for someone... taller," Bambi said, examining Hanataro critically. "How many weddings have you been hired to photograph, anyway?"

"Just three, including this one," Hanataro said, going pink. "I only recently became a professional -"

"Prove it, flower-boy," Bambi told him. "Let's see what you're made of."

Hanataro flinched. "Flower-boy?"

"Y'know, because of your name -"

"What's the big deal?" Grimmjow cut in. "We need a photographer, and here's a guy with a camera. Done deal, right?"

Halibel patted Grimmjow's shoulder. "Well, I wouldn't mind a little test run," she said. "What do you think, honey?"

Grimmjow glanced from the stern Bambi to the exasperated Uryu to the cowering Hanataro. He put his hands on his hips. "Let's do the test run, Hanataro," he said. "Today and tomorrow. I'll introduce you to the rest of the wedding planners and some of the guests, and you can take photos and stuff. You might as well meet everyone anyway, right?" He made an encouraging smile.

Hanataro bucked up. "Yes, thank you, Mr. Jaegerjaques, miss Tier! You won't regret this one bit!"

*o*o*o*o*

"So... you claim your name is Hanataro Yamada?" Rukia Kuchiki said like a film noir detective as she paced in circles around the seated Hanataro in the Kuchiki living room. She had her hands clasped behind her back, her violet eyes sharp. All the wedding planners watched in silence.

Hanataro swallowed. "Uh, yes..."

"And say that you're a pro photographer?" Rukia demanded.

"I really am one." Hanataro winced. "Look, is this necessary?"

"Silence!" Rukia barked. She stopped in front of Hanataro and shoved her face in his. "What's the best camera lens to use in late afternoon sunlight for a subject close to you?"

"I use a -"

"Wrong! Now how does a dark room work?"

"I..."

"Seriously, tell me," Rukia said. "I've always been curious..."

Ichigo gently took hold of his girlfriend's arm and pulled her back. "Okay, I think that's enough interrogation."

"B-but... as maid of honor, I must scrutinize every aspect of the wedding with utmost care," Rukia said. "I mean, who knows, with this guy?"

"Hey, I'm sitting right here," Hanataro said sadly.

"Sorry," Rukia said quickly. "But I had to be sure..."

"Why don't I prove it?" Hanataro beamed and held up one of his cameras, a Polaroid. "I mean, that was the bride and groom's idea."

"Yeah," Grimmjow said. "Let's see what you've got."

"Already done." Hanataro pressed the shutter button, and a photo slid out.

"Let me see!" Rukia lunged for the photo and held it up to her face. "Whoa, this is good for a Polaroid..." She handed it over to Ichigo, who nodded and passed it around. Grimmjow got a good look: Rukia's pride and hesitation were clear on her face and body language, and the photo was perfectly centered on her with just the right angle.

Bambi scowled at the photo and put it on the table. "Okay, sure. But that's just one. Do more!"

"What's the subject?" Hanataro asked, standing up. "Name it."

Rukia grinned. "Follow me."

She led Hanataro, and all her friends up the stairs and shushed them as they snuck down the hallway. "What are we doing?" Grimmjow hissed.

"Watch!" Rukia carefully opened a door and pointed inside. "Do it, Hanataro."

"Um... okay?" Hanataro raised his camera and took the shot.

"Cool," Ichigo said, checking out the printed photo. "Just the right lighting and composition and stuff."

"Gee, really technical," Bambi teased him.

"Technical enough for me," Byakuya said.

Grimmjow stumbled back when he saw Byakuya standing there at the fully open doorway, a scowl on his face. _I swear, this guy can move at super-speeds when he wants to!_

Byakuya took the photo and examined it. "Hmmmmm. Did someone photograph me working at my desk? Why?"

"I-I..." Hanataro bowed deeply. "I'm Hanataro Yamada, pro photographer! Your little sister and her friends required that I prove my skill, so I... did so... if it doesn't upset you..." His voice trailed off.

"Please don't invade my privacy," Byakuya said flatly.

Rukia, meanwhile, had Hanataro's camera in her hands and shoved it close to Byakya's face when she took a photo of her own. A new photo printed out.

Halibel gasped. "What was that for?"

Byakuya took the photo and sighed. "Wonderful. A close-up of my left nostril. Flattering." He handed it over.

Grimmjow got a good look, too; the photo was zoomed in on Byakuya's face as he talked, and indeed, his left nostril took center stage. Awkward!

"Whoops. I don't think I did it right," Rukia admitted. "This is harder than I thought."

"That's what she said," Ichigo muttered automatically.

Hanataro took his camera back. "Hey, I don't have unlimited film. I have to conserve it."

"I'm relieved that the wedding may have a photographer," Byakuya said. "But please practice elsewhere. Rukia, show our guests out." He turned and shut the door with a snap.

So now the group stood outside on the front porch. "It's funny how often Byakuya throws us out," Tatsuki pointed out.

"Because he just doesn't get us," Bambi said with a huff. "But we don't need him -"

Rukia cleared her throat.

"Sorry. We don't need him _much_ ," Bambi corrected herself.

"Should I leave?" Hanataro asked timidly.

"No way, buddy." Grimmjow gave Hanataro an encouraging grin. "You're a part of the wedding team! And we've got some hard work ahead of us. Do your part, and this'll work out great."

Hanataro got similar nods and looks of encouragement from the others, so he stiffened his back. "Yes! I shall indeed!"

*o*o*o*o*

Grimmjow was sprawled across the couch that evening in Rukia and Ichigo's living room with a bag of beef jerky, watching his DVDs of _Batman: The Animated Series_. Then, Ichigo wandered over and slouched in the remaining space on the couch. He held out a hand, and Grimmjow gave him a piece of jerky.

"Looks like we had another super-productive argument session again today," Ichigo commented.

Grimmjow nodded. Today's wedding planning session at Uryu's house... ugh. Just ugh. "My brain feels like it's tied up in knots."

Ichigo finished his jerky piece. "I find it funny how we all can't even agree on what kind of wineglasses to have! Or what color napkins to have! What does that say about us?"

"It says," Rukia put in as she wandered over, "that at the next session, I'm pulling the maid of honor card twice as often to get these jokers in line." She settled on Ichigo's lap and took a piece of jerky from Grimmjow's bag. "And it didn't help that Hanataro kept distracting me with that camera of his."

Ichigo shrugged. "At least he took some good shots. Did you see that one where Candice was halfway through tackling Uryu to the floor, and Hanataro got Uryu's face just right?"

Rukia burst out laughing. "That was hilarious! I mean, that sounds kind of mean, but Hanataro sure captured the spirit of things."

"And how Hanataro got a good shot of Bambi jumping into the dogpile?" Grimmjow added. "And the photo where Orihime cheered on Uryu and Tatsuki looked annoyed?"

"Oh yeah!" Ichigo said. "It was like a study in contrasts."

Rukia giggled. "Yeah, that was great." She patted Ichigo's thigh. "You know what, I guess things aren't so bad. I mean, now we have our photographer. After all that, Hanataro's definitely in."

"Agreed," Ichigo added.

"Totally agreed," Grimmjow said.

"Good!" Rukia said. "Now I can cross that off the list."

"Only five thousand things left to go," Ichigo joked.

"I'll see us through this. Promise," Rukia announced. She curled up on Ichigo's lap. "But for now, rest and recreation."

Pantera wandered over and jumped up onto Grimmjow's lap, where she curled up just like Rukia. Grimmjow patted her head. "Sounds good to me."


	19. Chapter 19

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 19: Captain Rukia and Her Wedding Planner Crew (and with any luck, we can get some work done... maybe? Please?)**

Rukia, seated with everyone else at Ichigo's dining table, slid a sheet of paper across the tabletop. "Okay, I think we can _really_ get some work done. But we'll need a strong leader. Someone capable and passionate about this wedding!"

Bambietta threw her hands up in the air and made an annoyed noise. "We know you're talking about yourself, Rukia!"

"Who, me?" Rukia blinked with false innocence. "Why, if you think I'm up to the job..."

"We do," Uryu said kindly. "Really. We're just a little frazzled from this tight schedule. It's the 7th. Just thirteen days until the nuptials."

"Yeah, which is why you louts had better listen up!" Rukia barked, standing to her full height, eyes blazing. "Grimmjow, Halibel, you'll take care of the personal stuff today. Ichigo and I can handle one chore for the next few days, and Bambi, you and Uryu can tackle something else. Nel, you and Orihime and Tatsuki will have another job."

Ichigo rubbed his chin. "Now the question is who does what, and what are the odds of totally screwing the pooch on each one?"

Nel giggled. "Yeah, Rukia. You'd better be careful. Unless you promote me to co-maid of honor, and I'll help you out."

"Sorry, but I have to do this alone. It's the 'honor' part of maid of honor," Rukia said, pointing at Nel. "Just do your part!"

"Which is what?" Nel challenged her. "I'd better get a fun job, shorty."

"Better watch your tone," Rukia warned her, "or you'll end up babysitting Uryu's great-grandfather, who's wheelchair-bound and can't take care of basic bodily functions by himself."

Nel gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth. "N-no...!"

Uryu went red. "Rukia! I don't have a family member like that," he protested.

Rukia grinned. "You're right. Nel will end up with an even worse job if she doubts me again."

"Why, you...!" Nel stood too, and glared at Rukia with her hands clenched into fists. Rukia returned the favor... until they both shook hands.

"I have total faith in you," Nelliel said warmly.

"And I'll give you a fun job," Rukia promised. "With ice cream as a reward."

Nel gasped again. "Make it a banana split!"

"Okay, okay..."

Hanataro, meanwhile, was roving around the table, taking photos of everything. "Such passion," he said, his eye still behind the viewfinder. "I can capture it on film, and document every thread of emotion in this whole endeavor."

Bambi rolled her eyes. "Hey, flower-boy. Less yapping and more picture-taking."

"I'm still practicing my poetry," Hanataro defended himself. "It helps to think out loud."

"Unfortunately," Ichigo muttered.

Rukia took a deep breath. "Okay, listen up, boys and girls. We've already got some important work done: the venue, which is the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites, plus the music, which Sosuke Aizen and his assistant Momo will handle, as well as the total guest list, Grimmjow and Halibel getting their marriage licenses, and Halibel's wedding dress. Which I totally helped her buy at a 25% discount." She patted a hand over her heart. "I'm just glad I could do so much for the bride."

Halibel smiled. "Thanks again, Rukia."

"So, what's left?" Grimmjow asked.

Rukia smiled. "I'm glad you asked." She cleared her throat and slowly ran her finger down the paper's list. "We still have to get Grimmjow's tux and Ichigo and Uryu's groomsmen suits, plus choose a caterer and finalize the menu, choose a baker and a cake, figure out the guest seating arrangements, dresses for the five bridesmaids (including myself), bridal coaching, decorations, arranging and doing the rehearsal dinner, choosing a location and making travel arrangements for the honeymoon, buying wedding rings, getting a flower girl and ring bearer, and Grimmjow and Halibel writing their vows."

An awkward silence fell.

"This'll take forever!" Bambi wailed. "I thought we were almost done by now!"

"We've only done, what, a third of the tasks?" Tatsuki said, glancing up in thought. "In thirteen days, we need to..."

Rukia snapped her fingers in Tatsuki's face. "Hey, I do the planning around here!"

"I hope we get a great caterer," Orihime said happily, pumping her fists. "With lots of exotic dishes and drinks!"

Grimmjow ran his hands over his face and groaned. "I can't believe it!"

"What?" Rukia demanded.

Grimmjow lowered his hands. "Halibel and I totally forgot about our vows! I'm marrying the best girl in the world, and I didn't even think to put my thoughts in writing."

Bambietta held a hand over her heart. "Oh, you romantic fool, you," she teased him. "I bet you'd misspell half the words anyway."

"Hey, that's mean," Tatsuki with a grin. "Just a third of the words."

"I have to speak from the heart, you know," Grimmjow said, tapping a finger on the table. "I need to put my soul's essence in words."

Nelliel turned to her roommate. "Whoa, Halibel. Cat-boy is waxing poetic. You'd better dust off those calligraphy pens."

"You can borrow one of mine," Uryu blurted out.

Bambi giggled. "You have more art supplies than anyone I know."

"S-so?" Uryu went red. "I like that sort of thing."

Bambi kissed his cheek. "Yeah, I know."

"Grimmjow, I promise that I'll tell you and everyone at the wedding exactly why I'm marrying you," Halibel said, squaring her shoulders. "I'll do my best."

"Hey, me too," Grimmjow said. "When I read them out loud, they'll make Rukia and Bambi cry. Uryu, too."

Uryu fiddled with his glasses. "Well, we'll see about that..."

"So, fifty-fifty chance?" Ichigo teased him.

"Maybe," Uryu said evasively.

"Good!" Rukia clapped her hands together. "Starting today, Grimmjow and Halibel will brainstorm their vows. I will also take Halibel to buy a ring, and Ichigo will help Grimmjow buy one, too. Uryu and Bambietta will take care of choosing a theme and getting decorations prepared, then Ichigo and I will find a good caterer and set up the menu."

"Oh," Orihime said, looking crestfallen. "Rukia, I was hoping I could do the catering stuff."

Rukia smiled. "Don't worry. You, Nelliel and Tatsuki will find a baker and design the perfect cake!"

Orihime whooped with joy and wrapped Tatsuki in a surprise hug. "Woo-hoo! Cake! Icing! And little bride and groom figurines on top! I can't wait."

Tatsuki managed a smile. "And as soon as you let me go, we can get started..."

"And after that," Rukia announced, "Grimmjow, Halibel, and I will work out the guest seating arrangements. We know our guests pretty well; we'll figure something out."

"And the suits and tux?" Uryu asked.

"You and Bambietta can tackle that chore," Rukia told him. "Since you work at Mr. Kyoraku's tailor shop and all..."

Bambi nodded. "You can count on us, captain!"

"Captain?" Rukia blinked.

Bambi mimed using a ship's wooden steering wheel. "I've come to think of you as the captain of our crew, navigating the waters of wedding prep."

"Then I should buy a captain's hat," Rukia muttered. Then she cleared her throat. "Okay! At our next meeting, after all this is done, we'll figure out the last few jobs before the wedding, like the rehearsal dinner. Let's get started!"

Grimmjow knew exactly where to start. He got out his cell phone and sent a few texts.

*o*o*o*o*

"Grimmjow, honey, this is such a pleasant surprise," Keiko Jaegerjaques said at noon, seated with her son and Takeshi at a decent restaurant downtown. She smoothed her navy blue blazer.

"I thought it was about time we all got together again," Grimmjow said. "How have you both been?..."

Once the small talk was settled, and everyone's lunches were served, Grimmjow got down to business. "My friends and I are all working on different jobs for the wedding on the 20th," Grimmjow said, eating a french fry. "And Halibel and I realized that we haven't started writing our wedding vows yet. So, uh..." He flushed. "I was hoping to get ideas from you both."

Keiko and Takeshi shared looks, and Grimmjow realized something. "Look, I remember how you both split when I was fourteen," he added quickly. "But... we were all pretty happy until then, and you're both on speaking terms now. I just thought that your marriage has the full range of ups and downs, and that means you both deeply realize what marriage really is."

He made an awkward smile. "Uh... am I out of line here?"

Takeshi shook his head. "Not at all, Grimmjow." He made a proud smile. "Actually, you make a great point, realizing that no marriage is entirely made of rainbows and daisies. It's real work, with real challenges."

"You can ask us anything," Keiko added with a smile. "And we'd love to hear more of your ideas for your vows."

"Okay. Hmmmmm..." Grimmjow glanced up. "Where do I start, anyway?"

"You start with the start," Keiko said. She took a bite of her shrimp stir fry. "Do you remember when you first met your fiancee?"

"Well duh, of course I do!" Grimmjow cried. He winced. "Sorry. But I'd really kick myself if I forgot that." He cleared his throat. "It was at the start of my senior year at Karakura high school, after the first day. I met up with Ichigo and we were going through his neighborhood when we saw the moving vans at the empty house next to the Kurosaki Clinic." He felt his face warm. "I saw Halibel out there on the front lawn, asking the moving crew to be careful with the heavy furniture so they didn't hurt themselves. She looked so cheerful and excited to move in."

Takeshi nodded. "I remember this story. The Tier family took a little while to warm up to us, didn't they?"

"Yeah, Halibel was interested in Ichigo before she got involved with me," Grimmjow added. He paused. "How about I don't write that in my vows..."

Keiko chuckled. "Good idea. When did you realize that you loved her?"

"Probably the time I took her to the convention center for the cultural festival that year," Grimmjow said, thinking back. "Though I didn't realize it back then. It was kind of a subcosncious thing."

He took a sip of Coke. "What about you both?"

Keiko glanced at Takeshi. "I remember that, in the summer of 1995," she said fondly. "He was at a pier on the river with some friends. They were fishing, but instead of catching things, they threw all their empty beer cans into the river."

Takeshi winced. "Keiko, did you have to tell him that part of the story?"

"Yes," Keiko insisted, "because when I saw you, I thought how you were much better than your friends, and that you deserved better." She turned to her son. "I told him that he'd look better without mud on his jeans and a cooler of beer, and that if he could meet me at a restaurant nearby the next night, we'd get a better impression of each other."

Grimmjow tilted his head in thought. "What made you decide that dad was worth another try?"

"I saw this look in his eyes," Keiko said fondly. "That, and he was shirtless, and he often lifted weights back then..."

"Right," Grimmjow said awkwardly. "What about you, dad?"

"I saw this gorgeous girl with silky black hair show up when I was fishing with my buddies," Takeshi said. "I was enchanted. I could tell she had a sharp head on her shoulders, and that I could trust her with anything, most of all my own heart. As soon as she asked me out and walked away, I almost ran from the pier to my house to clean up. That was the first time I bought a tie."

Keiko gave Takeshi a confused look. "You said that tie was your father's, and that he gave it to you as a token of faith."

"I made that up," Takeshi admitted, "to sound cool."

Keiko smiled. "Good enough for me."

Grimmjow scratched his head. "I'm not sure what thematic material I should get out of this."

"Don't worry about that, son," Takeshi said. "You know your fiancee better than us. What's something about her that made you want to marry her?"

"She trusts me," Grimmjow said. "And... y'know, she loves me, and she's my best friend besides Ichigo, and she's smart and looks out for her friends... but she knows all that."

Keiko toyed with her stir fry. "There must be something else..."

"GRIMMJOW! CHECK IT OUT!"

People's heads turned as Orihime's voice filled the restaurant, and Orihime, Tatsuki, and Nelliel came rushing over. "Hi, Grimmjow's parents," Nel said, waving. "How are you? Remember me? I'm the bride's roommate, Nelliel Tu Odelschwank!"

Keiko waved back. "Nice to see you again, dear. And you, Orihime, Tatsuki."

Grimmjow scowled. "Why did you all come here? Maybe I should stop announcing my lunch plans on Twitter..."

Orihime giggled and handed over some print photos. "Look! We all went to this really cute bakery down the street. The owner there said he'd give us a discount on any cake design we wanted! Here's some of our top choices that I designed myself. Look."

Grimmjow took the photos and checked out the cake designs. "Whoa," he said, widening his eyes. "This one has 'love is eternal' in Klingon written on the icing. I recognize the letters."

Tatsuki made an amused noise, her arms folded. "You knew it off the top of your head? Orihime had to look all that up."

Takeshi leaned over to peek at the photo. "You're right, son. I can read it, too."

"Star Trek strikes again," Tatsuki muttered.

"But that wasn't our only choice," Orihime added, shoving more photos in Grimmjow's face. "This one has lions and tigers on it! And this one has sharks! And _that_ one borrows elements from South Korean traditional arts. I got the idea from Candice."

"Uh..." Grimmjow looked over the photos again. "I'm not sure I can decide all this off the top of my head."

"I vote for the lion and tiger design!" Orihime put in.

"Well, I liked the one with roses and gold trim on the icing," Tatsuki put in. "It was really pretty. We should use that design."

"But... what's a cake without tigers?" Orihime cried.

 _So much for lunch,_ Grimmjow thought.

"Well, I liked the one with sprinkes!" Nel put in.

Tatsuki made a face. "That was a birthday cake."

"But I want it!" Nel shot back.

"I know," Grimmjow offered. "We can play a few rounds of rock-paper -"

Tatsuki crossed her arms into an X. "We are _not_ playing rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock for your cake, Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow hung his head. "Oh."

"Well, we'll figure something out for sure," Orihime said, taking her photos back. "And it'll be the best cake in the world! So beautiful, we won't even want to eat it!"

"I'm sure you'll dig right in," Tatsuki pointed out.

Orihime smiled. "You know me so well, Tatsuki. Okay, let's go, girls. More cakes to design!" She and the others finally left.

Grimmjow sighed. "The wedding planner team can never decide on anything. It's put us so far behind on our schedule."

"It's not a wedding if you don't want to tear your hair out," Takeshi said with a joking smile.

"I think all the biggest challenges are still ahead of us," Grimmjow groaned. His stomach felt tense. "I hope Halibel is keeping her cool better than me."

"Even if not, she still has you," Keiko reminded him gently. "And the same goes for your future marriage. Things will be tough sometimes. Take it from your father and I."

"Yeah, Halibel and I hardly even fight," Grimmjow admitted. "Not that I _want_ to fight... but I'm sure that we can handle any future problems together. We're a team."

Takeshi nodded. "Maybe you could write that for your vows. Even if you and Halibel find yourself at odds sometime in the future, deep down you'll always have each other's backs."

"Thanks." Grimmjow felt himself grinning. "And whenever Ichigo and Rukia marry, they'll _really_ need to factor that in!"

Keiko chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure. Still, those two are so close. I can't imagine anything getting between them for very long..."

*o*o*o*o*

"Grimmjow, that's brilliant," Halibel told her fiance that evening at her and Nel's apartment. Both of them lounged on the couch together, watching The Price is Right on the wide-screen TV while Nel browed the fridge for yet another snack. "Those are wonderful ideas for your vows."

"Thanks, babe." Grimmjow kissed his fiancee's forehead. "I bet yours will be better, though."

"Well, actually..." Halibel smiled sheepishly. "I was thinking about it while shopping for a ring with Rukia, but I'm not sure how to write it all down yet. Can I peek at your rough drafts?"

"Hey, are you trying to copy off my homework?" Grimmjow teased her.

"Maybe," Halibel said, widening her smile. "You're more of a romantic than people think, Grimmjow."

Nel got some leftover ravioli from the fridge. "Yeah, maybe you should give Ichigo some tips, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow shrugged. "He and Rukia... man, I still can't completely figure out their dynamic. That's up to Ichigo."

"So, maybe just a _little_ peek at your vows?" Halibel asked. "Just a preview?"

"Maybe," Grimmjow teased. "But what if there's spoilers?"

"Come on..." Halibel patted Grimmjow's thigh.

"Okay, okay... there's a pretty strong theme of the future. Like how I'm not afraid of the future, since I get to face it with you."

Nel clapped a hand over her heart. "Halibel! You might as well marry him right this minute."

"Very funny," Grimmjow said, rolling his eyes. "Halibel, I'll make sure that my complete vows will really tell you why I'm marrying the best girl in the world."

"Oh? Sounds like I should meet her sometime," Halibel joked with a giggle. Then she picked up her phone when it chimed. She made an exasperated noise.

"What's wrong?" Grimmjow asked.

"Oh, just the usual," Halibel said, scrolling through the text message. "Uryu and Ichigo can't decide on designs for the suits and your tux, and Uryu, Bambietta, and the entire staff at various stores are clashing about how to decorate for the wedding. Apparently, Bambi proposed a game of Twister to decide whose idea would be used, but no one wanted to play, shockingly enough..."

"Hey, I'd play," Nelliel said from the kitchen as she ate her microwaved ravioli. "Twister is fun! Especially when clothes come off in the process."

Grimmjow made a face. "Whoa, save it for the bedroom." Then he got a text. _**From: Ichigo.**_ _Dude! My stupid dad keeps trying to work out the guest seating so that we're all "optimally seated for fun and games throughout the weddding". And Rukia and my sisters can't agree on a different arrangement, either. And I get all my ideas shot down._

Grimmjow texted back: _Maybe Byakuya could help?_

 _ **From: Ichigo.**_ _Yeah, if I can scrape together the guts to ask him for help. Either that, or hell freezes over. Well, I'll keep you posted, man._

Grimmjow shrugged and typed back: _Good to know. And thanks again for helping me buy a ring. It's a good one._

 _ **From: Ichigo.**_ _Sure thing. See you later._

Grimmjow pocketed his phone. "The seating arrangements are in trouble. Rukia and the Kurosakis can't agree on anything, and Ichigo's afraid to bring in Byakuya to help."

"So, more wedding planner woes? That sounds like business as usual," Halibel said with a teasing smile.

Grimmjow grinned. "Too true, babe."


	20. Chapter 20

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 20: Journey to the Rehearsal Dinner (can't we go five minutes, disaster-free?)**

Grimmjow felt himself starting to sweat as he and Halibel tried to answer Momo Hinamori's questions late in the afternoon on July 19th at an outdoor cafe. It didn't help that Sosuke Aizen sat nearby, an eager look on his face as he sipped tea.

"So, everything _is_ ready for the wedding, correct?" Momo asked, her pen poised over her paper. "Am I right in assuming that?"

Grimmjow glanced at his fiancee and gave her a half-hearted smile. "We're, uh... still wrapping up some loose ends," he fudged. "But... well, we have the end goal in sight, I can say that much."

"That's right," Halibel said, taking hold of Grimmjow's right hand in both of hers. She gave him a reassuring squeeze. "The whole wedding planner crew is focused on the finishing touches. It's the home stretch."

"Lovely," Momo said, writing all that down. She pointed her pen at Grimmjow. "The groom's parents, by tradition, pay for and organize the rehearsal dinner. It's tonight, right?"

Grimmjow flinched. "Y-yeah!"

Momo smiled. "What personal touches and innovations did your mother and father use to make the upcoming rehearsal dinner reflect the bride and groom?"

Grimmjow scratched his head. He needed to stall her and think something up! "Man, that's a real stumper..." he said vaguely.

Aizen set down his teacup. "What she means, Grimmjow, is how will the rehearsal dinner be unique to you and Halibel?"

 _I can't reveal how we're totally screwed!_ Grimmjow glanced at Halibel again, and she gave him a small nod.

Grimmjow cleared his throat. "It'll be, well, a simple affair. Nothing too fancy. We might even do potluck, since we're all such great cooks. And besides, we're saving our expensive decorations and clothing for the real ceremony. I mean, the rehearsal dinner shouldn't be fancier than the real thing."

Momo nodded. "That is true; the rehearsal dinner is a more casual and simple event than the real wedding." She looked up in thought. "How about the seating arrangements? How do you think your families will get along?"

"My parents get along well with the Jaegerjaques family," Halibel said fondly. "We don't expect any problems there."

"Noted," Momo said. "Now, I'd like to ask -"

Halibel's cell phone chimed and she took it out of her purse. "Excuse me. It's Bambietta."

"I understand," Momo said, and Aizen nodded.

Halibel answered. "Hi, Bambi." She frowned. "What, again? They need to stop running off with all the food!... Yes, I know it's 'just' a rehearsal dinner, but... you mean you didn't coordinate who cooks what? We could have five meat courses and no pasta or soups! It would ruin the whole dinner!... no, that _doesn't_ count... don't blame that on Ichigo!... street magicians are out of the question... okay, fine. We'll figure something out." She hung up and ran her hands over her face with a long sigh.

Grimmjow gently held her shoulders. "Are you okay, babe?"

Halibel gave him a mortified look. "The rehearsal dinner's dinner is ruined! No one coordinated anything, and we'll have huge gaps in the banquet and redundancies with other foods! And we have nothing to serve at the actual wedding! And the baker got delayed making our cake because of a small fire at the shop!"

She panted and held a hand over her heart. "This isn't good, Grimmjow. It may be too late."

Grimmjow squeezed her shoulders. "Hey, we'll figure something out."

"The dinner is in one and a half hours," Halibel reminded him. "We have to get going soon! We have twenty-six people to feed, and we'll be lucky if we actually feed ten of them."

Grimmjow was definitely sweating at this point. He swallowed. "Orihime and Tatsuki were in charge of helping Bambi with the baker and food, right?"

"Yes, but they kept giving away 'free samples' and the baker can't have a cake ready for the ceremony tomorrow." Halibel bit her lower lip. "Not to mention the other things we're behind on..."

Grimmjow winced. He was acutely aware of Momo writing all this down, and the deeping frown on Sosuke Aizen's face. He cranked the gears in his head, but damn, nothing good came to mind. Halibel's parents would be there! And all the Kuchikis! And Candice, who flew all the way from South Korea, and all his friends...

"We, uh..." Grimmjow licked his lips, still trying to stall. "I guess this is another challenge of a hand-made wedding: last-minute mishaps, right?"

"It would seem so," Aizen said. "What do you suggest, Grimmjow? Halibel? You botjh came this far; I'm sure you can handle this, too."

Grimmjow checked his watch out of habit. Damn, it was 4:36 PM, and the rehearsal dinner started at 6:00 sharp. He and Halibel had scheduled the event to start and end early, so everyone could get a good night's rest before the big day tomorrow. But at this rate...

"We dig in our heels and keep going," Halibel said firmly.

Grimmjow felt his spirits lift. "Darn right. We can fix this."

Halibel got to her feet. "Write _this_ down, miss Hinamori: a Tier never gives up, nor a Jaegerjaques! The rehearsal dinner may have some rough edges, but our ceremony _will_ be complete! As Mr. Aizen said, we came this far, and we will see things through to the end. No matter what."

Momo beamed as Sosuke clapped gently. "Well said!" Sosuke said. "I love your faith, miss Tier. Even with problems at the eleventh hour, the bride and groom will persist and realize their dream wedding. Surely, this will be an inspiriation to everyone."

Grimmjow stood too. "Thanks for the tea, Mr. Aizen. We'll see you and Momo at the rehearsal dinner at the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites! For now, we've gotta get ready."

Aizen finished his tea. "Excellent. I look forward to it."

*o*o*o*o*

"So, what you're saying is... we're still totally boned?" Ichigo asked.

Grimmjow put on his dark gray blazer and examined himself in the full-height mirror in the guest bedroom of Ichigo's house. He brushed off some loose lint and adjusted the collar. "Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I don't want to diss my own wedding, but damn, things are not going our way, man."

Ichigo, who wore a cheap but presentable black suit, folded his arms and nodded. "Well, we still have all of tomorrow morning and afternoon to work out the last few kinks. The huge, titanic, mythological-scale kinks."

Grimmjow laughed nervously and straightened out his red bow tie. It didn't really go _that_ well with his white shirt and gray blazer and slacks, but it was close enough. Probably. Maybe. "Like my fiancee said, we've gotta do this, no matter what. I can't let her down."

Ichigo thumped Grimmjow on the back. "Now you're talkin'."

Rukia swung open the guest room's door. "Guys!" she said. "We've gotta get going. Grimmjow's dad will be here any second to drive us there... oh. There he is." They all heard knocking on the door.

All three of them hustled to the door. "You look great, Rukia," Grimmjow added, giving the thumbs-up to Rukia's knee-length blue dress, the one with thin shoulder straps and white lace. She also wore simple black flats and pearl earrings.

"Thanks," she said, sweeping her bangs to get them just right. "Now let's move, guys!"

Grimmjow swallowed hard and swung open the door. "Hey, dad," he said with a smile, forcing himself to look calm. "Thanks for driving us there."

"It's no problem, son," Takeshi said, wrapping Grimmjow in a bear hug. "Your mother's already there; took a bus. She wanted to meet everyone as soon as possible."

"That sounds like her," Grimmjow said fondly. "I can't wait. Okay, let's go..."

The four of them piled into Takeshi's red 2002 Toyota and drove off.

"You look nice, Mr. Jaegerjaques," Rukia said politely from the back seat.

"Thanks, Rukia," Takeshi said. He wore his best, navy blue pinstriped suit and green and silver striped tie. "You know, you can call me Takeshi..."

"Oh, I'd like to keep things formal for tonight."

Takeshi grinned. "You got it, young miss Kuchiki. And you look simply wonderful this evening."

"Thank you, sir!"

Five minutes later, though, Takeshi and the other nearby cars came to a hard brake. "Son of a bitch," Takeshi muttered.

Grimmjow could see the problem: a water pipe had burst, shutting down traffic for the whole road. Construction trucks were blocking the road, along with road signs and crewmen in hardhats. The men directed traffic to other roads, and Takeshi, muttering to himself, needed a few minutes to slowly weave through the cluttered traffic and get onto another road. It took another few minutes to get to a decent speed.

"Well, we should still be on time," Takeshi said with forced patience, checking the car's clock. "Or just a few minutes late, I guess... no big deal..."

Until he drove halfway through an intersection and another car, which ran a red light, clipped Takeshi's Toyota.

"Dammit! No!" Takeshi wrenched the steering wheel hard to the right to keep in control, and he maneuvered himself into an empty stretch of road as the other car sped off.

"I saw the license plate of the other car, just in case," Rukia said tensely, tightly holding onto Ichigo's hand the whole time.

"Thanks, Rukia," Takeshi growled. He pounded a fist on the dashboard. "What the _hell_! Of all god-damned days, this happens -!"

"Dad," Grimmjow said shakily, his heart racing, "we'll all take a bus, so you can take this car into the shop and have it checked out."

"Just give me a minute," Takeshi said, and he climbed out of the car to check the damage for himself and take pictures with his smart phone.

"This is pretty messed up," Ichigo said nervously.

Grimmjow merely nodded. He felt his stomach clenching.

Takeshi got back into the car and shut the door. "Front left light's busted, and some front bumper damage," he said shortly. "Scratches on the paint, too."

"Dad -" Grimmjow started.

Takeshi shook his head and gripped the steering wheel. "It's all right, son. I'm getting you and your friends to the rehearsal dinner. We'll be a bit late, yeah, but I'll manage." He drove off again, checking the other cars very carefully for other marauding sedans. This was no time for a destruction derby!

Then Ichigo's phone rang. "Hello?"

Ichigo made an exasperated noise. "Guys, it's Keigo. He said he missed a bus and can't wait for the next one. He wants us to pick him up, since his apartment's between my house and the Ballroom and Suites building."

"It's your call, dad," Grimmjow said.

Takeshi chewed his lower lip. "All right," he said. "But Mr. Asano needs to be ready for pickup the minute we're there."

And when he pulled up to the proper apartments... 0 Keigos were present.

"That dude drives me nuts," Ichigo muttered, getting out his phone. He dialed. "Keigo! Where the heck are you?!... what, a dog? A big one?... Fine." He hung up and rolled his eyes. "Keigo went to pet a big dog, and it pinned him to the ground," he said. "I'll go get him..."

He climbed out of the car and hurried to the apartment building's back lot.

"So... at least the weather's nice," Rukia said awkwardly, smoothing out her dress's skirt.

"Don't worry, Rukia. I'll make sure the rehearsal dinner isn't ruined," Takeshi said, anxiously running a hand through his short, sky-blue hair.

"It'll be fine, dad," Grimmjow assured him. "None of this was your fault."

"I just wonder what the Tiers and Kuchikis will think," Takeshi muttered.

Grimmjow fell silent. Better to let his dad focus for now.

Finally, Ichigo returned with a dirtied-up Keigo. "Whoa, that was the biggest Saint Bernard I ever saw," Keigo said, climbing into the car with Ichigo. "I thought those dogs were super-friendly."

"They know a sucker when they see one," Ichigo teased.

Keigo made a face. "Whatever. Hey, Mr. Grimmjow's dad, what happened to your left headlight?"

"A son of a... person... ran a red light and grazed me," Takeshi said, clearing his throat. "Please don't worry about it. Buckle up." He drove off.

Five minutes later, Rukia's phone rang, and she picked it up. "Hi, Tatsuki... yeah, I know, Takeshi picked up Keigo, you don't have to go get him... no, that's not the point... yes, we're on our way... I'll explain it to Byakuya... what?" She gasped, her eyes wide. "Kisuke can take care of it? That's wonderful! ... but we're already late... make it 2,000 yen... I'll ask him."

Rukia covered the receiver on her phone. "Mr. Jaegerjaques, Tatsuki wants to know if you're willing to stop by Urahara Shoten to pick up a cake that Kisuke baked at the last minute? She said that he said that it'll be wonderful for the wedding, and we can show it off at the rehearsal dinner. And she'll pay you 2,000 yen if you help out."

Takeshi glanced back at her. "I thought the cake was already taken care of?"

"Actually, according to Orihime and Bambietta, the baker had a small fire, and they can't get our cake done," Grimmjow told him.

"Which way is Urahara Shoten from here?" Ichigo asked, reading the street signs as they went by.

"It's a ten-minute detour to get there," Takeshi said. "Then about fifteen to twenty from there to the Ballroom and Suites building... hmmmmmm..."

"I understand if you'd rather not," Rukia said quickly. "I mean, we're already behind..."

"I'll do it," Takeshi said firmly. "If it's for the bride and groom's happiness, I'll take care of it."

Grimmjow beamed. "Thanks, dad."

So, Takeshi took a left and headed down a new road to Urahara Shoten. At once, Kisuke emerged from the shop, carrying a large cardboard box that was taped shut.

"Here it is!" Kisuke announced when Takeshi rolled down a window to talk. "I made this cake from a wide variety of sources! Five different cake mix boxes! Doughnuts! Extra powdered sugar! Even some brownies and sprinkles!"

Takeshi winced. "Just what kind of cake is this?"

"A tasty concoction for the wedding of the year," Kisuke said with a wink. "Open up the trunk, my dear sir, and I'll have it loaded and you'll be on your way!"

"Are you driving with us, boss?" Ichigo asked.

Rukia swatted his shoulder. "We don't have room!"

"Thanks, Ichigo, but I have my own transport. And I planned to be fashionably late, anyway," Kisuke said. "But don't worry! I'll be on time to the real wedding. See you again soon!" He swaggered off, his cloak billowing in a breeze, all dramatic and cool. Sort of.

"Okay, now we'll definitely get there soon," Takeshi said as he drove off yet again. "For sure. No more delays."

Then Rukia got a text. She held out her phone so everyone could see: it was a picture of Byakuya looking annoyed and impatient at the rehearsal dinner, his arms folded.

"Hisana sent it," Rukia explained. "She sent a text: 'heads up... my husband is getting impatient! Don't mind him, though. Please arrive safely. Love from Hisana.' So, we have that to look forward to..."

Grimmjow slapped a hand over his face. "Gee, Byakuya is ever so understanding..."

"He creeps me out," Keigo added with a shiver.

Rukia lightly punched Keigo's shoulder. "My brother isn't creepy! Strict, yes. Demanding, yes. Judgmental... well, yes..."

"That's definitely worse," Ichigo observed.

Rukia went pink. "Y-yeah, well, what am I supposed to do about it?"

Grimmjow grinned and turned his eyes to the road. _Halibel, mom, everyone... we'll totally turn this night around! We'll make it a fantastic dinner! Probably..._


	21. Chapter 21

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 21: A Toast to the Happy Couple! (and not much else, unfortunately...)**

The very millisecond when Takeshi parked at the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites, Grimmjow sprang out of the car like a tiger and motioned with his hands. "Guys! We gotta hurry."

"We're coming, buddy." Ichigo opened his car door and climbed out, then allowed Rukia to take his hand and helped her out, too. Takeshi, meanwhile, popped the trunk and lifted the massive cake's box.

"You kids go ahead," Takeshi said. "I'll carry this."

"Thanks, dad." Ichigo, now putting his arm around Rukia's waist, escorted her through the front doors, with Grimmjow taking the lead. Keigo, meanwhile, took up the rear, rubbing his hands eagerly.

"What kinda dinner are we gonna have?" he asked.

"Uh, well..." Grimmjow winced. "It's going to be potluck, but we had some... issues... arranging everything. But I promise that the wedding tomorrow will be better."

Keigo made a sympathetic noise. "It must have been some serious hard work putting all this together."

"It was," Rukia said. "Thanks for understanding."

"I'm a proper gentleman," Keigo said, smoothing his navy blue suit. Then he caught a whiff of grilled chicken and raced ahead like Wile. E. Coyote.

"That didn't take long," Rukia joked.

The babble of conversation erupted in Grimmjopw's ears when he, Ichigo, and Rukia joined the party in the main room on the third floor. Several long tables draped in plain white cloth took up the room's center, with almost thirty fold-out chairs set up. Cheap, but effective. Not to mention the badly-arranged potluck! Some soups and sandwich stuff, but no pasta, salad, or wine. That, and some odd, random stuff Orihime and Nelliel brought, like caramel corn, Fruit Roll-Ups, and Jell-O.

"Grimmjow! There you are!" Halibel threw her arms around her fiance and hugged him tight, resting her head on his shoulder. "I got your text, but I just couldn't relax until you came here in person."

"I'm glad to see you too, babe," Grimmjow said, holding her tight. "Sorry we're so late. Is everything ready?"

"Almost," Halibel said, letting Grimmjow go. She wore a white evening gown as a placeholder for her actual wedding gown, with amethyst-stud earrings, a thin gold necklace, and white flats. "Oh, wait a minute... where's your father?"

"Hey! The cake's here!" Bambietta cried over the crowd's chatter, and everyone turned to watch Takeshi stagger into the room, carrying the large cardboard box. Candice, Orihime, and Tatsukl clapped at the sight of him and the box.

"Open it, mister Jaegerjaques!" Orihime cried happily. "Do it!"

Takeshi set the box down near the tables. "Later, miss Inoue," he said, wiping his brow. Then he cupped his hands around his mouth and raised his voice. "Your attention, please! I apologize for my lateness, but now that we are all here, I propose that we begin with toasts and the dinner, then resume our crowd mingling."

There was a general murmur of agreement, so Takeshi, Keiko, and Mr. and Mrs. Tier escorted the bride and groom to an empty part of the room to act as the altar. Everyone else, meanwhile, took their seats at the tables, with some turning their heads to look at the bride's and groom's families. Sosuke Aizen poured wine for everyone over 21, and sparkling grape juice for the rest.

Aizen took his seat and gave the two families a nod. With that, Takeshi cleared his throat.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the upcoming union of two wonderful people," Takeshi began. "My son, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, and his bride, miss Halibel Tier." He was already blinking back tears. "It's incredible. My boy is on the verge of marriage to his soul mate, and he is this close to beginning the rest of his life. I still remember so clearly the day he was born, on a warm afternoon on July 31st, 1999. It was the proudest day of my and Keiko's life, and now, we have a pretty serious contender!" He made a tear-choked chuckle, and everyone else chuckled and made "awwww" noises. In the seated crowd, Hisana and Bambietta were wiping away their happy tears with paper napkins. Oh, and Uryu, too.

"And so, on this joyous occasion, we... we..." Takeshi hastily turned away and got out a tissue. He blew into it and waved a hand to show that he was done.

Everyone clapped and went "awww" again and drank to the bride and groom as Grimmjow patted Takeshi on the back. "That was great, dad," he said warmly.

Takeshi waved a hand again.

Keiko, wearing a rather loud red gown, stook a step forward. "Marriage is a commitment, a promise," she began in a strong, clear voice. "It is not easy, nor is it simple. It is the merging of two lives, with all their happiness, their sorrows, their dreams, their challenges. But when I see my son with his beloved, I see a promise that they will find more love and joy together every day, that they will overcome anything together, and create something wonderful. What I see in them... is hope. To the bride and groom, everybody." She smiled and raised a hand, and everyone said "To the bride and groom!" and took a sip of wine/grape juice.

"That was awesome, mom," Grimmjow said in awe as Keito Tier stepped forward.

Keiko flashed him another smile.

"My daughter, my Halibel, has and always will be the pride and joy of my life," Keito began calmly. "She was a bright child, so eager to learn, and explore the world and find new mountains to climb and new oceans to sail. So to speak. And now, she has found another journey: that of love, of the heart, that trek we all make. This is not the end of her journey, marrying her beloved, but the start of something even grander. I wish her only the best in married life. To the bride and groom."

Everyone drank.

Finally, Miza Tier stepped forward. "I remember, one day when she was seven, my Halibel orchestrated a pretend wedding with her stuffed animals," she said, already blinking back tears. "She had so much fun with that. And even when she outgrew stuffed toys and became a young woman, I saw that the spark of love, of laughter, and joy in her heart still shined bright. She brings such happiness to the people in her life, and now, she and her groom will do that for each other every day that comes." She sniffed. "In fact, she... well..."

Just like Takeshi, she turned and blew her nose. Overcome by emotion, Takeshi started crying too, and both he and Miza Tier held each other while sobbing away, while their spouses watched in confusion.

 _Just let it out, dad,_ Grimmjow thought. _And soon, preferably._

Everyone had a laugh and drank to the bride and groom for the fourth time.

"Oh! Oh! Me now!" Bambietta cried, bolting to her feet.

"Go ahead," Keiko said.

Bambi cleared her throat and smoothed her hair. "Grimmjow is kinda dumb, and Halibel needs to loosen up," she began, earning her all kinds of funny looks. "I mean, seriously, Grimmjow and Ichigo can speak Klingon and play with a GameCube! It's hilarious!"

Byakuya cleared his throat very loudly.

"But," Bambi added, "that's what makes them so special. I wouldn't trade the Gimmjow I know for anyone else in the world! And my life would be so cold and gray without my best friend ever, Halibel Tier. And to have them get married? I mean, whoa! It gives me the chills. I love those two with all my heart, and to have them take this huge step together takes my breath away. It gives me so much hope. And no, I'm not going to quote some poet about love. I wanna speak with my own words! So, to the bride and groom, everybody! Woo hoo!" She raised her glass.

Everyone chuckled and took a sip.

Ichigo went next. "I'll keep mine brief," she said. "Grimmjow, my best buddy... whoa. When I first met him, when he transferred to Karakura High School, I didn't take him for the marrying type. We actually didn't get along! But I remember when we competed to get onto the baseball team, and we knew right then that we respected each other, man to man. And the rest is history. And Halibel... both Grimmjow and I remember the day we first saw her, when she was on the front lawn of her new house while her family was moving in. At that very moment, Grimmjow knew that she was special. He was desperate for me to talk to her and make a good impression of him. And never once did he let go of that passion for her. I watched them become friends and fall in love, and now, to be here when they're about to join hands in marriage... it was a long and fun road. And now they're going on a new trip together. I wish them the best. To the bride and groom! Let's hear it!"

"To the bride and groom!" everyone repeated.

Uryu, Orihime, Nelliel, Candice, Keigo, and Tatsuki went next to give their toasts. Uryu's was short and polite, Orihime's included a recipe that she meant to give Halibel earlier, Nel's had expletives, Candice's... well, let's not get into that... Keigo's had no fewer than six puns, and Tatsuki's reminded everyone of the importance of fitness. Then Rukia went next, and the waterworks took over.

"... and so... and so..." Rukia was sobbing, with her glass raised, "I salute my best friends on the biggest moment of their lives, as they embark on... oh my..."

She ran over to Hisana and cried into her chest as everyone went "awww" yet again and drank. Rukia needed a few minutes to recover.

Finally, Byakuya and Ginrei gave short toasts, along with Kisuke and Isshin and Ryuken Ishida, and Sosuke Aizen played classy music on a large stereo as the dinner began.

Well, dinner with quotation marks. There were still some pretty huge gaps in the banquet, and Byakuya wrinkled his nose at his incomplete plate.

"Oh, come on, honey," Hisana told her husband, running a hand down his arm. "The kids just need one more day to get everything ready. They've worked so hard on the wedding! I'm sure the real ceremony will go just fine."

Byakuya sighed and took a bite of a deli sandwish. "I suppose so, darling. I suppose so..."

Grimmjow felt his face go warm as he ate next to Halibel, overhearing all kinds of complaints and concerned muttering. The toasts were fantastic... but damn, nothing was ready yet!

"So, the bridesmaids are Rukia, Orihime, Tatsuki, Bambietta, and that Nelliel girl," Karin was saying, counting on her fingers and glancing at each girl. "Why don't their dresses match? They're all totally different!"

Yuzu made an indignant face. "Karin, they're obviously saving their best dresses for tomorrow," she said. "I mean, imagine if one of them got soup or mayo on their dress tonight!"

Karin shrugged. "That, or they didn't actually get matching dresses. All of the bridesmaids look pretty self-conscious..."

"They're just nervous," Isshin said reassuringly. "Right? I mean, such a burden! To be a bridesmaid..." He sighed wistfully and got misty-eyed.

Karin picked up her plate and relocated to the table's other end.

"I look forward to seeing this place dressed up for tomorrow, honey," Miza Tier said to her daughter. "What theme did you and the girls choose? Oh, don't tell me. I want to be surprised."

Halibel shifted in her seat. "Um... we don't really have anything yet..."

"What do you mean?" Keito asked.

"We're saving that for the last minute," Halibel said awkwardly. "B-because... we didn't want to get tired of looking at all the same decorations in the weeks leading up to the wedding."

Keito frowned but didn't say anything.

"So, I bet you lovebirds wrote some awesome vows, right?" Candice asked happily.

"Can we get a preview?" Candice's date, Shuhei, asked.

Grimmjow shared mortified looks with Halibel. "We... need to fine-tune them," he said evasively. "Reword a few passages, and stuff like that..."

"I know that look," Tatsuki said, pointing a fork at Grimmjow. "You didn't finish yours, right?"

Grimmjow hung his head. "Right..."

Halibel hung her head, too. "Me, neither."

"So, what caterer did you both decide on?" Ryuken asked. "A good one, I imagine..."

"We're, uh, still working on that," Uryu said, nervously toying with his glasses.

Ryuken gave his son a funny look. "What does that mean?"

"We can't find a caterer," Bambietta blabbed. "In fact, I don't think we can afford one anyway!" She giggled.

Byakuya, who clearly heard that, got out his checkbook. "Then I shall hire one, and cover the costs," he said politely. He also got out an expensive pen.

Hisana scowled and put her hand over the checkbook. "Honey, don't!" she hissed. "Right in front of the kids? They'd feel so insulted."

Byakuya blinked. "I'm sorry, everyone. That was tactless of me." He put his checkbook and pen away. "The wedding's catering is in their hands, of course."

Hisana smiled. "Now, that's better. I'm sure the wedding planner team will do just fine."

"Thanks, sis," Rukia said with a smile, then mouthed _We're doomed!_ to her friends. Mercifully, none of the other Kuchikis noticed.

Nelliel stood up abruptly and clanged a fork against her wineglass. "Who's ready for dessert?" she hollored. "Dessert! Dessert! _Dessert_!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, my roommate," Halibel muttered.

So, Takeshi and Kisuke brought over the boxed-up cake and ripped off the tape. "Let's dig into this sugary treat of greatness," Kisuke said proudly. He lifted the lid. "We shall dine like - paper?"

Grimmjow's gut went cold. "What's wrong?" he called out.

Looking distinctly embarassed, Kisuke tilted the box so everyone could see the printer paper, pens, staplers, three-ringed binders, and computer parts stored inside. "It looks like I grabbed my office supply box by mistake," he said. "I meant to send this to that new office building down the street."

Takeshi sighed. "Does this mean that the office workers who should have gotten this shipment have received the cake?"

Kisuke placed his fold-out fan over his mouth. "It would seem so, my good sir!"

There was a collective groan of dismay. No cake! No decorations! No anything! And especially no cake!

The rehearsal dinner ended pretty soon after that.

"Well, _I_ had a good time," Rukia said stubbornly in the car later, as Takeshi drove her, Ichigo, Keigo, and Grimmjow back home. "A lady knows how to enjoy herself with dignity."

"I know, hon," Ichigo said, kissing her cheek.

"I'm just wondering what kind of cake it was gonna be," Keigo complained. "Chocolate with strawberries? Vanilla with raspberry? Was there a cake-topper?"

Takeshi grunted. "Don't worry about it, kiddo. Okay, here's your stop..."

Everyone was relieved when Keigo got out of the car.

Back at Rukia and Ichigo's house, Takeshi looked a bit uncomfortable. "Look, if you kids need help for tomorrow's wedding, I can do something," he said, hands in his pockets. "Anything you need."

Grimmjow shared a look with Ichigo and Rukia. "As long as you're happy and proud of Halibel and me, you've given me everything I need, dad," he said. "Have a good night."

Takeshi nodded and turned to leave. "Okay. Good night, son. I love you." He shut the door behind him.

Rukia collapsed onto the couch with an arm draped over her eyes. "Dammit!" she cried. "We have a month's worth of work to do in one day!"

"Morning and afternoon," Ichigo corrected her. "The wedding starts at 7:00."

Rukia groaned. "I can't believe it..."

Grimmjow got an idea. "Hey, did we ever decide on a maid of honor?" he asked with a grin.

Ichigo looked confused. "Grimmjow -"

"Of course we did!" Rukia sprang to her feet, her face red, hands balled into fists.

"Who?" Grimmjow asked.

"Me! Duh!" Rukia jabbed a thumb at her chest. "What the hell, Grimmjow!"

Grimmjow's grin widened. "So why aren't you taking charge, dear maid of honor? I just saw a girl give up and compain on the couch."

Rukia cooled off. "Oh. Good point." She giggled nervously. "Halibel chose me for a good reason! A Kuchiki can do anything! Tomorrow, boys, we'll get that wedding ready, no matter what!"

"Yeah!" Ichigo agreed, pumping his fists. "So, what's first?"

Rukia took hold of his hand and led him to their bedroom. "What's first is we change into more comfortable clothes and go out to an ice cream parlor. I'll go nuts if I don't get some sugar."

Ichigo grinned and ran a hand down his chest. "Here it is."

Ruia giggled again and punched his shoulder. "Maybe later. Ice cream, stat!"

So the three of them went out. And the whole time, it felt like an ordinary evening, without the looming spectre of an unprepared wedding looming over them.

It was nice.


	22. Chapter 22

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 22: Countdown to the Nuptials (there's no time to waste! Chop chop!)**

 _ **July 20th. The day of the wedding.**_

 _ **8:00 AM.**_

Grimmjow fumbled with his smart phone that sat on the bedside table and swiped on the screen to shut off the alarm. He saw sunlight glowing through the blinds in the guest bedroom, and he blinked. _Man, this feels nice. So comfy._ In fact, Pantera the cat sat on his chest, snug and relaxed.

Why did Grimmjow feel like he was missing something...?

He bolted upright. "The wedding!" he cried. Pantera jumped off the bed in shock and meowed at him.

After freshening up and throwing on a logo tee and cargo shorts, Grimmjow hurried to the kitchen to start this ever-so-busy day. Ichigo and Rukia were already there, and the latter was serving bowls of rice, vegetables, and fish.

"Morning, sunshine," Rukia said with a smile. She took her seat. "Nice to see you up."

"When did you both get up?" Grimmjow asked, sitting down. Darn it, was he the slacker out of the three of them today?

"7:15," Rukia told him. "But don't worry. If we eat quick, and pass on the usual morning Star Trek reruns on TV, we'll have plenty of time to work on the wedding stuff. I'll call the others and coordinate everything. Being maid of honor, and all." She put a hand over her heart.

"Mmmmm. Yeah," Ichigo said through a mouthful of breakfast. "Don't get in her way today, Grimmjow. The wedding, and more significantly, her pride are on the line."

"That's not fair," Rukia protested.

Ichigo jolted. "Sorry."

"Thanks, because the wedding and my pride are dead even."

Grimmjow took a bite. "Good to know the score."

Right after breakfast, Rukia got on the phone with Halibel while Ichigo called Uryu. "Mmmm-hmmm," Rukia said. "Right... well, I'll try and haggle for the price... I'll think of something, I swear!... No, Nel _doesn't_ have permission to do that... tell her I'll whack her with a wet noodle if she tries that... yes, I know a place... no, we're not moving the wedding until later. It'll be at 7:00 sharp, like we planned. Okay. Bye bye." She hung up.

"Halibel and Nelliel are gonna work with Orihime and Tatsuki to hire a florist this afternoon, and look for matching dresses for the bridesmaids," Rukia explained. "And I'm gonna help them whenever I can."

Grimmjow nodded. "Great."

Ichigo sighed and hung up. "No answer," he said, scowling. "Uryu and Bambi had better call me back. It's already 8:34." He double-checked on his watch.

Grimmjow frowned. "Okay. What comes first?"

"We work on the food and cake situation," Rukia said. She went into her bedroom and fetched her purse and leather sandals. "Saddle up, boys!"

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **8:10 AM.**_

"Mmmmmm... just one more time," Bambi grumbled, reaching over to her bedside table and hitting snooze on her and Uryu's alarm clock radio.

"What time is it?" Uryu mumbled.

"8:10. We still have lots of time," Bambi said. She rolled over and hugged Uryu close to her body. "You're nice and warm. Let's enjoy this, darling."

"All right," Uryu said.

 _ **8:25 AM.**_

"Just one more time," Bambi decided, when she hit snooze again. "Roll over, Uryu. I wanna be the big spoon."

"But you're always the big spoon."

"That's right." Bambi toyed with her boyfriend's hair. "Now do what the big spoon says and roll over so I can snuggle you better."

Uryu obeyed.

 _ **9:45 AM.**_

Bambi reached over to hit snooze again, then widened her eyes at the clock's digital display. "Uh-oh," she said. "Uryu, we might have a problem..."

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **8:45 AM.**_

"Oh. My. Gosh!" Nelliel said yet again, twirling like a dancer in the living room of her and Halibel's apartment. Her belly was nice and full from a double breakfast. "I can't believe it! You're gonna get _married_ , and go on a fancy honeymoon, and be Mrs. Halibel Jaegerjaques... I could cry!"

"You already did. At breakfast," Halibel said with a smile. She got her purse and slipped on her usual leather sandals. "Now let's go!"

She paused and stared at the door. "Wait a minute..."

Nel came to a stop and lowered her arms. "What? What's the matter?"

Halibel clapped her hands over her mouth. "The honeymoon! We totally forgot about it!"

"Honey, honey..." Nel walked over and held Halibel's shoulders. "It's all right! Just get a map of Japan, throw a dart at it, and go wherever the dart lands. Easy."

Halibel gave her a funny look.

"Or," Nel said quickly, "think it over with your husband-to-be and go somewhere meaningful. And preferably on the beach."

"That's a 'maybe' on the beach," Halibel said. "Come on, we've got to meet up with the others."

"Where to?" Nelliel asked as both girls headed out onto the sidewalk and toward the bus stop.

Halibel smiled and held up her phone. "Rukia is about to solve the wedding's catering problem for good."

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **9:15 AM.**_

"Hey, we've done this a few times before, right?" Grimmjow asked as he and his friends gathered in the World Cuisine Kitchen downtown.

"Sure we have," Rukia said, putting on her apron. "But this time, it's like a mission!" She held up a finger. "This cooking class isn't just another double date, cat boy. Bring your A-game!"

Grimmjow secured his apron, too. "Don't I always?"

"Maybe half the time," Nel teased him.

Halibel, meanwhile, looked around past the assembled students. "Where's the instructor?"

"Welcome, welcome," came a man's smooth, tenor voice. A gentleman with slicked-back black hair and a (in Grimmjow's opinion) cool moustache waltzed into the room, already in his white coat. He took a tall chef's hat from the counter and put it on. "I'm Dordoni Alessandro del Socaccio, your instructor for today! Here, we shall embark on a culinary adventure to the greatest heights of fine dining. Strap yourselves in!"

Ichigo hid a laugh behind his hand. "He's even more nuts than the last guy who taught us."

Rukia pouted. "There was nothing wrong with the last instructor. All he did was make fun of your hair."

"Exactly! See?"

Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

Then he did a double take when his eagle-eyes spotted a familiar couple among the thirty or so students.

"B-Byakua? Hisana?" he blurted.

As Dordoni blabbered on about knives and washing your hands, Byakuya returned Grimmjow's look and nodded. "Good morning," he said. "Please keep your voice down. The lesson has already started."

Ichigo gasped. "The Kuchikis are here? What the hell?! Rukia, did you tell them to...?"

Rukia shook her head. "I had no idea they'd be here."

Meanwhile, both Byakuya and Hisana swapped places with other students to join the five friends. "We know that you don't want us to just buy everything for your wedding," Hisana said brightly. "So my husband and I decided on a more hands-on approach! We'll help cook a wonderful banquet for the wedding this evening."

Byakuya nodded again. "We are here for you."

Halibel beamed. "Thank you so much! This means a lot to us."

"Thanks, guys," Grimmjow said. He couldn't help a grin. Hell, if classy people like the Kuchikis were going to roll up their sleeves and help work, maybe this wedding was saved after all!

Then the doors crashed open. "Sorry we're late!" Orihime cried, waving a hand. "Did we miss anything good?"

Dordoni blinked. "Senoritas, you're nearly ten minutes late."

"Yeah, the stupid bus stopped at pretty much _every_ stop on the way here," Tatsuki groaned. "Then this purse thief came along, and I had to take care of him. Then this rude lady bumped into Orihime and I gave her a good warning to back off."

"Tatsuki's just nervous about this evening," Orihime explained. "This is how she copes. Don't mind us."

"Get your aprons and prepare to cook!" Dordoni declared. "Please, join us!"

So they did. Dordoni showed them all kinds of Italian food, plus some Indian and South Korean dishes too. It was a mouth-watering variety! Byakuya stunned everyone with his perfect spaghetti dish, and Orihime stunned everyone's noses with her horribly over-cooked cabbage dumplings. But something was missing... what was it...?

Ichigo looked around, through all the steam and pots and pans. "Are we forgetting someone else?"

The doors crashed open again. "Hey, wait for us!" Bambietta cried. "Everyone start over! I don't wanna miss everything!"

Uryu sighed. "Honey, it's already past 10:00. It's too late for that."

Bambi pouted just like Rukia usually did. "Why couldn't this class be later? What a drag." She and Uryu got on their aprons.

"What kept you?" Nelliel demanded as Bambi and Uryu joined the group.

Uryu bit his lower lip. "Let's say that we couldn't compromise properly with our alarm clock."

"Yeah, I said 'five more minutes' a few too many times," Bambi admitted with an awkward smile. "That snooze button is like a magnet for my fingers."

"Well, I'm just glad you made it," Halibel said kindly. "Bambi, when you wash your hands, could you help me chop up these onions?..."

At some point, Dordoni came by Grimmjow's group. "It gives me such pleasure to see young adults take an interest in cooking," he said fondly. "Now show me! Show me what you have concocted!"

He approved of Tatsuki's simple bean buns, and clapped his hands in delight at Byakuya's calzones and Hisana's stir-fry dish. And he gave a half-hearted nod at Grimmjow's simple pasta dish and Rukia's beef lo mein bowl.

"And yours! What is this, may I ask?" Dordoni examined Orihime's stew of... something.

"Try it!" Orihime offered, handing over a spoon.

Dordoni took a bite. "Fantastic!" he cried. "What talent you have!"

"What the darn heck?" Bambi blurted out. "Orihime made something edible?!"

"It's like we're in a parallel universe," Ichigo joked.

Uryu scowled. "That's not nice."

"Whatever, man."

"Maybe there's an alternate universe where you don't make fun of people so much," Uryu retorted.

Ichigo grinned. "Maybe there's one where you can actually bench-press without fainting."

Uryu went red. "That only happened once!"

Then Tatsuki waved to get Dordoni's attention. "Whoops! Orihime picked up mine by mistake," she said. "I made that soup. Here, try Orihime's." She offered a bowl of murky-looking soup.

This time, Ichigo's opinion was validated when Dordoni took a bite and crumpled like a sack of bricks.

"It's... not... what...?" he mumbled on the floor, foaming at the mouth.

"Darn it," Orihime said, snapping her fingers. "I should have added more sardines!"

Rukia hid behind Ichigo. "Pretend I'm not here," she told him, "or she'll make me eat some next."

It was nearly 11:00 before Dordoni recovered and wrapped up the lesson. He handed out tupperware to anyone who wanted it, and before long, both Ichigo and Grimmjow had their arms loaded with everyone's food.

"I think this could feed half the crowd at our wedding, honey," Halibel told Grimmjow happily. "If enough of us cook the rest, our banquet will be ready!"

"Yeah," Grimmjow said, his arms burning with the effort. "So, uh... who's gonna do it?"

"Allow us," Byakuya said, draping an arm around Hisana's shoulders.

"What? For real?" Ichigo asked.

Hisana smiled. "Why not? I loved the recipes that we learned today. I want to cook even more! Byakuya, darling, why don't you handle the pasta dishes? I'll handle the rest."

Byakuya nodded once. "Good idea. Let's get home, quickly, and get started. Grimmjow, Halibel, everyone... I'll see you all this evening at 7:00."

With that, he and Hisana headed outside to Byakuya's waiting car.

Bambi watched them go. "They never miss a chance to show off, do they?"

"Yeah, but we'll have enough food at the wedding!" Nelliel added. "This is great! I can't wait..."

Bambi gently shoved Nel's shoulder. "You'll eat half of it all by yourself, won't you?"

"Well, I'll sure as heck try!"

Grimmjow checked the clock on his cell phone: 11:14 AM. "Okay, we've got just over seven hours to tackle whatever's left on our wedding prep list," he said. "How about -"

"Ahem!" Rukia put her hands on her hips. "Listen up, team. My sister and brother-in-law are doing us a huge favor, and we've gotta do our part, too. Halibel, Bambi, help me get the bridesmaid dresses. Ichigo, Uryu, Grimmjow, you'll take care of finding groomsmen suits and Grimmjow's tuxedo. I mean, you fellows looked nice at the rehearsal dinner, but you can do more for the actual wedding."

Ichigo smoothed his T-shirt. "You can count on us."

"Nelliel, Orihime, Tatsuki, you three will buy, make, and/or borrow any and all decorations for the wedding," Rukia told the three girls. "You know the size and lighting of the room we'll be using; work with that info and figure out something good. You three have a pretty good idea on the bride and groom's tastes in decor, right?"

"Yeah!" Orihime said. "We'll make the wedding look so great, you'll want to marry it, Rukia."

Rukia smiled. "I'll hold you to that. Okay, once all this is done, we still have the cake, guest seating arrangements, the floral arrangements, and finishing the vows to take care of."

She got out a whistle from her purse and blew it. "Go, go, go!"

Grimmjow held Halibel's hand in both of his. "I'll see you later," he said. "I promise, I'll look my best for you. Knowing Uryu, he'll take me to an expensive barber shop or something, and get me some fancy cologne, too."

"I look forward to it," Halibel said fondly. She blushed. "I can't believe it. Just a few hours left! The next time you see me... well, you know..." She made an embarassed smile.

Grimmjow kissed her cheek. "I can't wait."

He grouped up with Ichigo and Uryu and headed out the door. "Follow my lead, Ichigo, Grimmjow," Uryu said as he raised an arm to hail a cab. "By this evening, we shall become extraordinary gentlemen."

Grimmjow put his hands in his pockets as he waited for a cab to come. The sun seemed awfully bright today, and the traffic too loud... was it just him, getting all worked up?

 _Relax,_ he told himself. He had to put his faith in Uryu, that's all.

Easy, right?

*o*o*o*o*

 **A/N:** Thanks to **KisukeShoten** for the story fav and follow!


	23. Chapter 23

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 23: Finally, Almost Everything is Ready (we're still waiting on that cake, though...)**

 _ **July 20th. The day of the wedding.**_

 _ **11:44 AM.**_

This, Grimmjow decided, was some overdue pampering!  
"I had no idea this place even existed," Grimmjow commented. "Then again, I've been seeing a lot of new places and things while preparing for the wedding..."

"Mmmm-hmmmm," Uryu said, reclined in his seat, his head tilted back. "I go here once a week to get away from it all. It's good for your mind as well as your gentlemanly grooming."

"No kidding," Ichigo said comfortably. "I feel like a prince in here."

Grimmjow never would have guessed, in a zillion years, that Uryu's favorite place in Karakura Town was an uspcale barber shop called Mr. Taki's Barber Shoppe! Once he stepped in here with Uryu and Ichigo, all three bros were seated on expensive, leather-padded barber chairs and reclined as three men applied shaving cream to their jaws and upper necks. And now, Grimmjow felt his stress and anxiety melting away as the barber gently and expertly ran his razor across Grimmjow's cream-lathered skin. It was like a massage!

"So, once a week, you said?" Grimmjow asked Uryu, glancing over at his co-best man. "I didn't realize you could grow enough stubble to even need it."

Uryu made a hurt look. "You still think of me as some unmanly sissy-boy? Is that it?"

Grimmjow went red. "Hey, I wasn't gonna say that to your face!"

Uryu chuckled. "I'm only teasing you, Grimmjow. I'll have you know that I actually grow a beard very fast. If I didn't come in here every week and have it professionally shaved, I'd look like a lumberjack by now."

"Oh... yeah?" Grimmjow said in a small voice.

"That's right," Uryu said.

Grimmjow bolted to his feet and backed up against the wall in terror. "What?! I can't even imagine... _you_ , the manliest of us all?!"

Ichigo burst out laughing. "You've had a secret weapon all along, Uryu. Who'd have guessed?"

Uryu looked annoyed. "You both always go to the gym or wear muscle shirts or arm wrestle each other for fun. Aren't I allowed one manly trait?"

"This can't be happening," Grimmjow said numbly. "No way..."

"Please, young sir, be seated," Grimmjow's barber said. "We're not finished."

Still hardly daring to believe it, Grimmjow sat back down as his barber resumed work. Now, all he could imagine was Uryu the Yeti wowing all the ladies of Karakura Town. Secret weapon, indeed!

After the absolutely perfect shave, Grimmjow, Uryu, and Ichigo sat upright and had their hair trimmed, touched up, and otherwise made presentable for the wedding. Grimmjow's barber fussed at the loose hairs and the uneven trimming job that Grimmjow's usual barber had done, so after some delicate work, the barber stepped back. "It is perfect, yes?" the man said.

Grimmjow stared in awe at his reflection. He looked positively civilized! His hair belonged in the Louvre! Fasntastic!

"It's great," was all Grimmjow could think of.

"Yeah, Rukia's gonna love this," Ichigo said, admiring his reflection. He ran a hand along his jaw. "I'm predicting a second base minimum in a bathroom stall during the wedding reception."

Uryu made a face. "Do you _have_ to put it in terms like that?"

"I sure do," Ichigo said smugly, still running his fingers along his smooth jaw.

"Anyway," Uryu said to the barbers, regaining his composure, "Thank you, gentlemen, for the wonderful service. We must be on our way."

The three barbers stepped back. "Yes, young sir Ishida. We will see you next week," the middle barber said.

Once out on the street, Uryu led Grimmjow and Ichigo to the nearest bus stop. "Clothing is next," he said, rubbing his hands together, a familiar gleam in his eyes. "Now, we shall become immaculate gentlemen!"

Grimmjow and Ichigo shared a look. _Here goes nothing,_ they both thought.

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **12:16 PM.**_

"Okay, I've heard of this place," Grimmjow said as he gazed in wonder around the high-end tailor shop downtown. "But I've never been in here before. It looked too expensive for me."

"That's why you should sharpen your haggling skills," Uryu told him, clapping Grimmjow on the back. "This place is just like a car dealership. You don't pay the intial price; you _bargain_."

Grimmjow stared. "What?! I didn't even know you could do that!"

Uryu pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Well, I can't imagine your favorite places like GameStop or the arcade allowing that, but at a high-end place like this, it's the norm."

"Whatever you say. You're the expert here." Grimmjow smoothed his shirt. "So, mister co-best man... what magic will you work today?"

Uryu pointed at Grimmjow. "You'll get the best tuxedo possible, and Ichigo and I will look excellent in matching suits. To start, we should -"

Uryu yelped when Candice Basterbine took a running leap and hugged him tight from behind. "Hey there, Uryu!" she cried. "We're lucky you're here. Can you help us? Please?" She blinked. "Oh. Hi again, Grimmjow, Ichigo. How are you?"

"Wait a minute. Who's 'us'?" Uryu asked, once he pried Candice off of him.

Shuhei Hisagi stepped forward with an awkward smile. "Hey, dudes," he said. "My date dragged me here to get me fancied up for tonight's wedding. I don't even have a tie or anything at home. I'm starting from scratch. Right now, these are my best clothes." He wore a navy blue polo shirt, khaki slacks, and tennis shoes.

Candice nodded and wrapped her arms around Shuhei's right arm. "That's right. I can't let my annoying sister make me look bad by having a better-dressed date than me!"

Shuhei gestured at Uryu. "You're Bambietta's boyfriend, right?"

Uryu nodded. "Right."

Shuhei made a small grin. "Then I guess we're kinda like rivals or something."

"It's no contest," Ichigo said. "He and I are co-best men. Relax, Shuhei."

"Oh. All right." Shuhei smiled at Candice. "Then let's chill and have a good time. We'll find a decent suit for me here."

Candice pouted. "No, you gotta look better than Uryu! Bambi is always one-upping me at stuff, like tabletop tennis or eating ice cream. I have a fantastic dress ready for the reception, but it's pointless if my date doesn't look good, too."

"But Uryu is the tailoring master," Grimmjow added. "Call it a truce, Candice, and he'll help Shuhei out. It's not dog-eat-dog."

Candice hung her head. "But I wanted to beat Bambi at something. Oh, all right." She smiled. "Why don't we get started?"

So they did. And right off the bat, Uryu nearly gave Grimmjow a heart attack when he explained the price of the eye-popping tux he tried on.

"Dude! How many organs d'you want me to sell?" Grimmjow cried.

"Like I said: you haggle," Uryu said calmly. "How does it feel?"

Grimmjow held out his arms and turned around on the spot. "Like heaven. But seriously, that sticker shock..."

"Whoa." Candice's eyes were wide. "You look good enough to eat, Grimmjow. Like a plate of sushi!"

"I'm putting it back," Grimmjow declared. "Give me a minute."

So he tried another. And determined that he'd have to donate his whole body to science to afford it, which would render it mute. And the third was probably worth more than Hokkaido's economy.

"Can't we find a better compromise on price and material quality?" Grimmjow groaned.

"Fine, fine. Find something you like," Uryu relented. Grimmjow found a suit in minutes, but once he presented himself, Uryu shook his head.

"You look like a desperate job seeker who eats cheap ramen every night in his tiny apartment," Uryu said in dismay. "Unacceptable!"

Shuhei blinked. "That was really specific..."

"Fine! Then let me try again!" Grimmjow snapped.

It was nearly 1:00 when Grimmjow finally re-emerged from the fitting rooms in a black tux with a red bow tie and well-pressed white shirt. "Good enough?" he asked wearily.

Candice whooped and clapped. "You look wonderful!"

Uryu nodded. "The tailoring gods are pleased."

"Meaning you?" Ichigo teased him.

Grimmjow sighed with relief and leaned against a wall. "At long last..."

"Yeah, my friends like it too," Candice said, fiddling with her smartphone.

Ichigo blinked. "Huh?"

Candice showed them the group text conversation. "See? I took photos of Grimmjow in all the suits, and I got all kinds of responses!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Grimmjow swiped Candice's phone and anxiously scrolled through the convo. He saw all the photos of him in there, all right. There were at least twenty different girls chatting at once, including Rukia, Bambi, Nel, Tatsuki, and Orihime. And even Karin Kurosaki. Plus some girls from South Korea.

Candice took her phone back with a teasing smile. "Grimmy, there's at least four girls among my friends who totally want you if you ever get divorced," she said. "Congrats!"

Grimmjow went red. "That's not funny!"

"Hey, you didn't show those photos to Halibel, did you?" Ichigo asked. "She wants to be surprised at the wedding."

"Relax, I didn't show her," Candice said, pocketing her phone. "Okay, now let's dress everyone else up, too!"

It was a long afternoon!

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **1:34 PM.**_

"Tatsuki, what do you mean, you don't want a pirate theme?!" Orihime cried at the party supply store. She already wore a costume, complete with gold hoop earrings, a plastic scimitar, and an eyepatch. "It's so cute!"

Tatsuki made a face. "This isn't some kid's birthday party."

"Oh, you're right. We should do this for my birthday later this September!"

"But pirates are tacky..."

Nelliel emerged from around the corner, also dressed as a pirate. She made a mortified face. "But I worked so hard to dress up, Tatsuki. And now you're telling me we can't do the pirate theme? Make up your mind, will you?"

"I never agreed to this theme in the first place!" Tatsuki cried. Then she took a deep breath and calmed down. "There's lots of stuff here. We'll keep looking, and -"

"I've got it! Knights and dragons!" Orihime re-appeared, dressed like a medieval princess. "We could make a castle and stuff for the reception. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"How'd you get dressed so fast?" Tatsuki wondered. "Look, Bambi lent me this wedding catalogue. Let's try to find something around here that matches."

"Let me see that, ye old scalawag." Nel swiped the catalogue from Tatsuki's hands and flipped through it. "Okay... lame, lame, corny, too expensive, too much yellow, pumpkins scare me, two decades out of style, lame, lame, lame." She handed the catalogue back. "Looks like pirates is our only option, Tatsuki."

"What? No! There's gotta be something..." Tatsuki flipped through the catalogue. "Okay... yeah, you're right, that one's lame... this one looks all right... oh, this one's kind of cute. Look at this..."

Tatsuki blinked. "Oh, and change out of your pirate and princess costumes, if you please."

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **2:30 PM.**_

Orihime could definitely see why Tatsuki chose this theme. The Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites building was fancy and nice, for sure, but its plain, off-white wallpaper, maroon carpeting, and plain wooden doors pretty much made the place a blank canvas. Tatsuki was always a smart one... and today was no different!

But the costs...

"Where the heck are we gonna get a... what was it..." Nelliel double-checked the wedding catalogue. "An old-fashioned trolley made out of bronze and wood?"

"We'll rent that," Tatsuki said. "Now help me bring in this stuff! C'mon!"

They sure had a lot of decorations already. Tatsuki had led the charge across Karakura Town, gathering the cheaper parts of the wedding's decorations, and now, the three girls, plus some building staff, were busy setting it all up.

"And this," Nelliel said, pointing at a photo in the catalogue. "What the heck? A bicycle? Are we doing the Tour de France in here, or what?"

Tatsuki burst out laughing. "No, but it reinforces the theme. It's supposed to look rustic. Like something you'd find in a farm house. And we'll have to find a place to buy all the bronze candle holders and other table-top things. This might take a while."

Orihime finished setting up a large potted fern. Even the vase itself was very pretty, and "rustic", as Tatsuki insisted it be called. She wiped her brow. "We spent a lot on this," she commented. "Tatsuki, we're not going to bust our bank accounts on the rest, are we?"

"No way. We'll borrow what we can, and haggle for the rest," Tatsuki said, giving the thumbs-up. "Trust me."

Orihime beamed. "I always do."

Tatsuki blinked. "Oh! One more thing. This theme calls for certain styles in the bridesmaid dresses. I have to make a call." She got her cell phone out of her small purse and quick-dialed someone. "Hey, Rukia... yes, I'm working on the decorations... well, we'll _probably_ have it all done by 7:00... don't use that tone with me!... yes, I know you're the maid of honor... I'm just saying, earthly tones and subdued colors are better. Nothing too loud, like cherry-red... of course Bambi would say that... okay. Great. See you later."

She hung up. "Rukia and the other girls will have to start from scratch on their dress ideas," she admitted. "I hate to inconvenience them, but it's for the good of the theme we're building here."

"Good point," Nel said. "Hey, what about the cake and florist? Are we doing those next?"

"Slow down," Tatsuki said with a smile. "Of course we'll handle all that next. Mr. Urahara promised to make a proper cake for us and _not_ send it to an office building by mistake this time. And Rukia and Halibel have great taste in flowers. It'll be fine."

Orihime nodded. "I can't believe you weren't declared the maid of honor. You're like a coach."

"Well, I like to think that I was the second choice," Tatsuki said with what sounded like false modesty. She snapped her fingers. "Let's speed it up, people! I've gotta get some more stuff downtown, and when I come back, I want to see some real progress in here!" She strode out of the room.

"She never gives us a break," Nel complained.

"It's just her way of showing she cares," Orihime said brightly.

Nel made a face. "Then she could stand to care a little less..."


	24. Chapter 24

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 24: We Still Have Some Loose Ends Here (hurry! We're almost out of time! Go go go!)**

 _ **July 20th. The day of the wedding.**_

 _ **2:30 PM.**_

"Okay, I got it. See you later, Tatsuki."

Rukia looked perfectly calm and collected when she hung up her cell phone in the middle of the tailor shop called Miss Aiko's Gown Emporium. Then the petite maid of honor raised her fists in fury and bared her teeth, steam shooting from her ears! "We have to start over! Put all the dresses back. This is gonna take a while. Curse that Tatsuki..."

Halibel jolted. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened." Rukia pointed at her phone. "All on her own, Tatsuki figured out a fantastic decoration theme for the wedding, but because of it, we'll have to completely rethink our ideas for the bridesmaid dresses, or we'll look horrible at the ceremony!"

Bambi snorted with laughter. "Tatsuki totally one-upped you, dear maid of honor. She could never do that to _me_. Just saying."

"Whatever," Rukia said, huffing in indignation. "We have to accomodate the theme. It's going to be -"

"Wait." Halibel smiled and held up a hand. "Don't tell me. I want to be surprised."

Rukia blinked. "You do?"

"After all the hard work and stress we've been through, I'd love a little fairy tale moment," Halibel said with a smile. "I want to be wowed and dazzled when my wedding starts."

Rukia nodded. "That's a good point. Okay, Bambi, I'll whisper it in your ear so we can figure out what to do from here." She leaned over and whispered it, and Bambi gasped and widened her eyes.

"That's really cool," Bambi said in delight. "I never would have thought of that! Okay, let's do it."

Halibel's mind whirred with possibilities as she, Rukia, and Bambietta explored new bridesmaid dress ideas that afternoon. Was it "enchanted evening"? Or maybe "under the sea"? Or even "Arabian Nights"?

 _It's your wedding, not a prom,_ Halibel reminded herself as Rukia and Bambi argued about whether a certain dress's neckline was too risque or not. _Whatever Tatsuki decided on, I'm sure it'll be classy and gorgeous. Unless it's karate-themed... I wouldn't put it past her._

Finally, after much deliberation, name-calling, teasing, compromise, and even a game of rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock (Rukia knew the rules), the three girls settled on a design. It had a lacy top and shoulder straps, and a knee-length skirt of soft, almost silk-like material. The whole thing was a silvery lavender color, and according to Rukia and Tatsuki, it was the best color they could find for the theme, whatever it was.

"Yeah, I'll definitely get to second base, minimum, in this," Bambi said happily, holding up the dress to her chest. "Probably third!"

Rukia made a face. "Do you have to say that out loud?"

Bambi gave her a teasing smile. "Yeah, and Ichigo will keep his hands to himself during the whole reception."

Rukia went pink. "W-we'll see what happens. So, Halibel, how about we get the rest of the girls here for measuring and fitting, and go get your gown from Yoruichi's shop."

Halibel got out her phone and dialed a few numbers. "All right. Here goes..."

Unfortunately, Orihime, Tatsuki, and Nelliel were even pickier than the other girls, and it was nearly 5:00 by the time everyone was ready. And even when they pooled their cash, it was tough buying the five dresses and bribing the seamstress to do a rush job. The 7:00 PM deadline loomed right over them.

Rukia wiped her brow. "Okay, so... Tatsuki, is the room at the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites fully decorated?"

"There's just a little bit left to go," Tatsuki estimated. "I need maybe an hour to finish up. Or an hour and a half."

Rukia stomped a foot. "Well, which is it?!"

"An hour!" Tatsuki said hastily. "I promise!"

"Good." Rukia rounded on Orihime and Nelliel. "Can I count on you two to get the cake from Mr. Urahara's shop and _not_ eat it?"

"Of course, captain Rukia!" Orihime said, saluting. "We can do it!"

"Good. Get a move on! Chop chop!" Rukia clapped her hands twice, and both Orihime and Nel scampered off.

"Now, we have to figure out the seating arrangements, and double check that Hanataro will be at the wedding on time, get the food from my sister's house to the venue on time, hire a florist, get a flower girl and ring-bearer, and make sure the vows are written," Rukia said in a rush, pacing in a tight circle. She gestured with her hands. "There's not much time. Just two hours! If even the slightest thing goes wrong..."

"Rukia." Halibel took hold of her friend's shoulders. "Please relax. You're the best maid of honor I could ask for. I know you'll get everything done right."

Rukia's violet eyes were still tense. "Hey, the biggest moment of your life is in _two hours_ , you know. We have a lot left to do! At this point, we have to move at the speed of light to get everything together by 7:00. And -"

"Come on, let's get some ice cream or something," Halibel said, steering Rukia to the nearest door. "All right?"

Rukia grunted. "How are you, the bride, so calm at a time like this?"

Halibel made a nervous smile. "You know what, I don't even know. On the inside, I think my stomach is doing somersaults! And my heart won't stop racing." She put a hand to her heart. Yup, still thundering away!

"This had better be a quick snack break," Rukia said grimly.

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **5:06 PM.**_

"Ah yes, the big fat happy cake! Allow me."

Kisuke Urahara waltzed to the back room of Urahara Shoten and came back with a sealed cardboard box. He allowed Nelliel to take it. "Now, be careful! This sucker is a bit fragile. Be sure to take it straight to the Ballroom and Suites building, okay?"

"Yes, sir! See you there!" Nelliel hefted the box to the exit with Orihime, and right on time, Shuhei pulled up in a rental car, and from the passenger seat, Candice waved.

"Get it, chumps!" Candice hooted. "We've got this car until this time tomorrow! Let's have some fun!"

"But we have to get the cake straight to the venue," Orihime protested. "Rukia will flay us alive if we mess anything up."

"Oh, her?" Shuhei Hisagi said in the front passenger seat. "Relax. We still have two hours. Why not have some fun with this?"

So, Shuhei burned rubber and zoomed through Karakura Town's increasingly busy downtown streets, and she soon got a phone call.

"Yeah, of course I can! See you soon!" Candice hung up. "Keigo's bus route got screwed up from the heavy traffic and he doesn't have a ride to the wedding... until now! Here comes the Shuhei-Candice Taxi!" She did a high-five with Shuhei.

 _But what about the cake?_ Orihime patted the box. _Don't worry, Mr. Cake. We'll get you there!_

It was another twenty minutes until Shuhei and Candice finally agreed on and found the correct route to Keigo's apartment, and he squeezed himself into the back seat. "Hey, ladies," he said. "Fancy seeing you all here."

"Check it out! We have the cake!" Nel said, motioning with the box.

Keigo stared. "Whoa! It must be huge!"

"Put it in the trunk," Candice said. "We need room; Chad said he needs a lift, too."

"Chad?" Keigo cried in dismay. "He's the size of King Kong! He can't fit in here!"

"Anything is possible in the Shuhei-Candice Taxi! Now let's go!" Candice hollered.

Shuhei nodded with a wicked grin, and he sped off like a burlgar fleeing a bank robbery.

Turns out Candice was right: there _was_ room in her car for Chad, provided Keigo was crammed into the trunk with the cake.

"Thank you, Candice," Chad said in his deep voice from the back seat. "I might have missed the wedding."

"It's no problem," Candice said happily. Then she read a new text message on her phone. "Oh. Chizuru needs a lift, too. Let's go get her!"

"But she lives on the other side of town," Chad pointed out. "How -"

"Now's not the time for doubt, Chad," Candice declared. "It's the time to believe in the magic. Here we go!"

And she was right: there _was_ room for Chizuru, provided Orihime volunteered to be in the trunk with Keigo and the cake. It was pretty dark in there.

"Welcome to the trunk," Keigo joked when Orihime climbed in. "At least we have the cake for company."

"I'm here to help Candice, because I believe in this wedding," Orihime said proudly. "But I still kinda feel like the Yakuza is kidnapping us or something."

"Candice is calling the shots. Close enough," Keigo commented, and they both laughed.

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **5:32 PM.**_

"Yes, I'm serious! I need just white and yellow flowers. Not the other colors!" Rukia snapped at the florist shop. "It fits the wedding's theme. Nothing else will do!"

The shop owner, a certain Isane Kotetsu, motioned with her hands. "All right, I understand! Let me see what I can do. Mizuho, could you help me out?"

Both women went into the back room to collect the flowers, and in the meantime, Halibel gave Rukia another shoulder massage. "Just breathe," the bride told her. "Let the anger and stress go. Everything will be fine..."

"How are you so calm?!" Rukia cried, blatantly ignoring Halibel's directions. Her shoulders tensed up even more. "We're behind schedule, you know!"

"Relax. Just breathe..."

Then Rukia's phone rang, and she answered the FaceTime call.

"So... Shuhei's rental car is busted," Candice said on the screen. "See? I think there was too much weight on the axles or something. Check it out." She held her phone so Rukia and Halibel could see a blue rental car sitting on the sidwalk. Shuhei, Chad, Orihime, Keigo, Nelliel, and Chizuru were standing around the car, plus the cake. All of them looked pretty self-conscious.

Rukia scowled. "How did all of you fit in one car?!"

"We made creative use of the trunk," Candice told her. "But now we're stranded near 45th Street and Mango Boulevard. Oops!"

"This isn't funny!" Rukia exploded, going red in the face. "Get that cake, and all your butts, to that wedding or nowhere on Earth will be safe for your sorry hide! I know how to hunt people down, you know. Move it!" She ended the call just as Isane and Mizuho arrived with several bunches of white and yellow flowers.

"Finally! Now let's go!" Rukia scooped up all the flowers in her arms and ran off, leaving Halibel to pay at the last second and hurry after her.

Rukia called someone else on the sidewalk. "Hi, Byakuya. Look, I'm really sorry to burden you like this, but seven of our friends, plus the cake, are stranded at 45th Street and Mango Boulevard. Is is possible that you could send two company cars to pick them up? ... what, me? Okay, I'll do it... and that, too... Okay. Thanks again. See you later." She hung up.

"What's the plan?" Halibel asked.

Rukia sighed and ran her hands over her face. "My brother-in-law will have his boss send two company cars and get everyone in Candice's group to the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites, plus the cake. But I have to pay for it, _and_ Byakuya wants me to deliver the food that he and Hisana cooked to the venue."

Halibel nodded. "It sounds like everything will work out."

"But..." Rukia went pale. "I get really stressed when I drive a car! And no one else is available to get the food to the venue, because my sister and Byakuya need time to get themselves ready and take their own car. It's best for the schedule if I get the food there." She swallowed. "I don't suppose _you_ could...?"

Halibel shrugged. "I never learned how in the first place."

Rukia steeled herself. "Then I have no choice. Let's get a cab to take these flowers to the venue. Then we'll load the trunk of Byakuya's car with the food... and I'll try not to cause a pile-up."

*o*o*o*o*

 _ **6:12 PM.**_

"This is it, man. Are you ready?" Ichigo asked, once he stepped into Grimmjow's guest bedroom. He was already in his groomsman's suit.

Grimmjow swallowed and adjusted his red bow tie again, checking himself over in the tall mirror. "Does this look straight to you?"

Ichigo clapped his hand on Grimmjow's shoulder. "Dude. It's fine. Are _you_ doing fine, too?"

"It's almost here," Grimmjow said, still staring at his reflection as his insides clenched and squirmed like snakes. "I can't believe it, man... my _wedding_. I'm gonna marry the girl of my dreams, and..." He shook his head. "I dunno how else to describe it. It's..."

"Gonna be the best day of your life," Ichigo said calmly. "You look like a prince. You're ready. Believe me."

Grimmjow grinned, but it was forced. "Yeah. Cool as a cucumber."

Ichigo nodded. "That's great. Okay, let's go. Your dad is already here. He's gonna drive us up."

"I can't take the pressure! It's driving me nuts! Help me!" Grimmjow wailed. He seized the sides of the mirror and shook it. "Can't we do it tomorrow?"

"Cut it out, man." Ichigo forced Grimmjow to lower his arms. "The date of the wedding was one of the first things we decided. Everyone's gonna be there, _and that includes you_." He grinned. "Okay?"

Grimmjow let out a long, slow breath. "Yeah. This is my time. Follow my lead."

He squared his shoulders and went into the living room, where he found Pantera sitting on the couch. He pet her head. "Next time you see me, kitty, I'll be a married man. Can you believe it?"

Pantera blinked and twitched her tail.

"Sounds like you have her blessing," Ichigo said. "Lucky you."

"Yeah." Grimmjow threw open the door and strode into the early evening light, and indeed, Takeshi was waiting there, idling in his red Toyota. Grimmjow climbed into the front passenger seat and Ichigo settled into the back seat.

"Hey there, son," Takeshi said brightly. "All ready for your big day?"

Grimmjow checked his pockets. "I've got the ring, my vows, a packet of tissues for any waterworks... yeah, I'm ready. Thanks again for driving us."

"It's no problem. It's the least I can do for your and Halibel's big day," Takeshi said, driving off. "Grimmjow... I'm really proud of you. I really am."

Grimmjow toyed with the ring in his pocket. "Thanks, dad," he said again.

They were passing through the intersection of 38th Street and Sunset Avenue when Ichigo's phone rang. He put it on speakerphone.

 _"Ichigo!"_ came Rukia's panicked voice. _"We completely forgot to finalize the guest seating arrangements! It's all screwed up!"_

"We did?" Ichigo yelped. "Crap... was I in charge of that?"

 _"I dunno,"_ Rukia said in a rush. _"I mean, we could just have everyone sit wherever they think is best, but it's a pretty sloppy way of doing things."_

Grimmjow raised his voice so Rukia could hear him. "How about this: I'll text Halibel about it, and if she's okay with it, we'll just do the on-the-fly seating arrangements."

Rukia paused for a second. _"Okay. If she and you are on board, then I'll handle it as the ceremony starts. I just had to make sure neither of you had no objections."_

"It sounds like our best bet," Grimmjow said. "Give me a minute." He sent the text, and he got a fast answer. "Halibel's okay with it," he announced. "Fire away, Rukia."

 _"All right. Let me work my magic. See you guys at the wedding!"_ Rukia said. Then she hung up.

Takeshi chuckled. "Honestly, as long as I'm seated somewhere where I can reach all the best foods, I don't mind where I end up."

Grimmjow snorted with amusement. "That's the spirit, dad." He watched the buildings pass by. "I can't wait to see mom. I bet she'll be jumping up and down with joy even before the ceremony starts."

"I'd bet on it," Takeshi said. "In fact, the only reason I won't do it is because I'm afraid to tear a stitch in this suit."

"Good point," Grimmjow said distractedly. Here, on the road, to his _wedding..._ he felt the pre-wedding jitters fire up on all pistons again. It was so close! The biggest moment of his life!

He couldn't wait.


	25. Chapter 25

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 25: Finally Crossing the Finish Line (here goes nothing!)**

 _ **July 20th. The day of the wedding.**_

 _ **6:42 PM.**_

Grimmjow hoped that stepping into the cool, air-conditioned interior of the Cherry Road Ballroom and Suites building would soothe his nerves, but it sure as heck didn't. He kept finding himself smoothing his shirt, fiddling with his bow tie, or chewing his lower lip. Ichigo seemed to notice, too.

"Dude. Your hands are going nuts," Ichigo told him, helping Grimmjow lower his hands from his bow tie.

Grimmjow nodded shakily. "S-sorry. I'm fine."

"At least we're a bit early," Takeshi said brightly. "I imagine that Halibel and the girls want a little extra time to get ready, you know."

"Then what should we do?" Grimmjow asked tensely. "Sh-should I wait at the altar? Or linger outside the door? Or..."

Takeshi clapped a hand to his son's shoulder. "Why don't we say hi to everyone and thank them for coming here today? You should at least say hello to your mother."

"Right. Yeah." Grimmjow smoothed his shirt again, then willed himself to lower his arms. _Be cool! This "nervous wreck" thing isn't funny. The last time you were this nervous was at that Star Trek costume party last year. Just chill!_

The three men made their way up the stairs, down the lavish hall, and through the doors into the huge room where everyone was already gathered. Grimmjow stopped and stared in awe, his jaw going slack. _Whoa. Tatsuki, Rukia, Orihime... you've outdone yourselves!_

Potted ferns, well-trimmed bushes, and mini-trees filled the room with a comfortable, natural green aura, interrupted by bunches of white and yellow flowers to add a little pop without being gaudy. There was an elegant wooden arch at the makeshift altar, decorated with more yellow flowers and strings of white Christmas lights, and each of the seven round tables had bunches of yellow, white, and pale pink flowers held in empty wine glasses and jam jars. There was even a large wooden sign along one wall with the names GRIMMJOW AND HALIBEL JAEGERJAQUES hand-painted in gold katakana characters. As a bonus, Sosuke Aizen and Momo Hinamori were playing classy music at a low volume from their music system in one corner of the room. And to add to the rustic, outdoorsy theme, someone had set up an old-fashioned bicycle against the wall (with flowers in its basket), and a bronze and wood trolley.

Ichigo made a quiet whistle. "Whoa! I had no idea... this is cool!"

"Those girls outdid themselves," Takeshi said. "Miss Rukia mentioned that she and her friends had set up 'the perfect decor', and now I see what she meant."

Grimmjow blinked. "When did she say that?"

Takeshi grinned. "Your friend Rukia called me to boast about how perfect the wedding would be under her leadership. Apparently, she called Keiko, too. She was determined to prove to the groom's parents that she is the maid of honor of the century."

"No kidding." Grimmjow nodded with a small smile. "I can't blame her for wanting to brag a little."

"That's my Rukia, all right," Ichigo said with amusement. "So, are we ready to mingle a little?"

Everyone was already seated, but each person managed to see Grimmjow ands clap and cheer for the groom's arrival. Keigo waved madly from his table, and Isshin actually sprang to his feet and hurried over to throw his arms around Grimmjow in a monster of a hug.

"The groom! We've already got half the happy couple here!" Isshin cried. Not to mention how he was actually crying by now. "Oh, I can't believe it... I'm so happy!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and pried Isshin off of the groom. "Dad, can't you chill for one minute? Jeez."

"But this is such a big day... for all of us." Isshin got out a tissue and blew his nose. He checked his pocket. "Oops. I'll have to get another tissue packet..."

Ichigo rolled his eyes again for good measure. "You already went through a whole tissue packet?!"

"I... have allergies. Yeah, that's it," Isshin said, fooling exactly no one.

By this time, Karin and Yuzu had joined the party, the former looking even more exasperated than Ichigo, the latter, crying just like Isshin. This evening, Karin had done up her dark hair in a bun with bangs framing her face, and she wore a deep blue, sleeveless gown to contrast with Yuzu's pale turquiose ensemble.

"So... big day, huh?" Karin said off-handedly.

"B-big day? The biggest day of our lives!" Yuzu said between sobs.

Karin cocked her head. "If all these waterworks are for Grimmjow and Halibel, what the heck will happen when Ichigo marries?"

Yuzu wiped her eyes dry. "I guess we'll find out together, won't we? Come on, Karin... you don't seem excited at all."

"What d'you mean? I'm having a good time," Karin said defensively. "This place looks great. And the Kuchikis cooked up a proper dinner. I'm fine."

"Yes," Isshin said, "but consider: you're about to witness two of your friends starting the rest of their lives together! It's a once-in-a-lifetime event! It's incredible!"

"Yeah. In just a few minutes, my life's gonna be transformed," Grimmjow added, trying to ignore his squirming insides and racing heart. "I've been waiting for this for so long. I get to marry the best girl in the whole world, right here, today."

Karin glanced away and blinked. "Yeah, I know. That's what your wedding invitation said, genius."

Yuzu peeked closer at her sister's face. "Is that a tear?"

Karin blinked again. "No!"

"It totally was!"

"These flowers are inflaming my eyes, okay?"

Yuzu handed over a tissue. "Here you go."

"I'm not crying, I swear." Then Karin caught the mortified look on her dad's face. "Okay... maybe a tiny bit?" She blinked again.

"Thanks, Karin. It means a lot," Grimmjow said with a smile, then moved on through the chattering crowd, where he ran into the Kuchikis.

"There you are, mister groom," Hisana said fondly, rising from her seat and giving Grimmjow a polite hug. "I can't even imagine how excited you must be!"

"Thanks, Hisana. I can't wait," Grimmjow said, returning her hug. He let her go and waved. "Hi Byakuya, Ginrei. Glad you all could make it."

Byakuya nodded as his wife took her seat beside him. He held her hand. "Of course. We are all here to support those we care about. I am sure that this will be a wonderful wedding."

"Mmmmm. Indeed!" Ginrei said. "I haven't had this good a time in years, young Jaegerjaques. This will be a night you remember for the rest of your life."

"Thanks, sir." Grimmjow bowed his head and moved on. At that moment, Keiko emerged from the crowd and threw her arms around both Jaegerjaques men.

"Grimmjow! Takeshi! I can hardly believe it," Keiko said with tears in her eyes. She held Grimmjow's head in both hands. "My little boy is about to start the rest of his life today..."

"Thanks, mom," Grimmjow said in a muffled voice as Keiko directed all her hugging power at him. Then she shook hands with Takeshi.

"Takeshi, it was wonderful seeing you and Grimmjow again these last few weeks," she said. "Look... I'm flying out of the country the day after tomorrow. I have some... things... lined up. I should have left yesterday, but the wedding, you know..."

"I understand," Takeshi said simply. "Keiko, I..." He swallowed. "I feel like there's a lot more things I should tell you."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Seeing you and our son again... I think if we read between the lines, we said everything that we owed each other."

Takeshi blinked. "You have a point there."

"But all the same..." Keiko smiled. "I'll be sure to visit a little more often. Even if I have to come all the way from Costa Rica or Norway, I'll see you both again."

Takeshi gave his ex-wife another handshake. "I'll remember that. Thank you, Keiko."

"Yeah. If Halibel and I get our own place, you'll totally have to see it, mom," Grimmjow added eagerly. "I mean, it's not a real home 'till my parents approve of it."

Keiko smiled and patted Grimmjow's cheek. "You're darn right."

Before Grimmjow knew it, it was time.

Everyone was seated at their round tables as Grimmjow took his place under the arch with Ichigo and Uryu standing close to him. At the same time, the five bridesmaids: Rukia, Bambietta, Orihime, Tatsuki, and Nelliel, all gathered in a row, all wearing lovely gowns of light lavender. The officiant, an older man named Mr. Katsumura, stood ready, hands clasped at his navel.

Then everyone went quiet as Aizen started playing Pachebel's "Canon in D" and filled the room with the music.

Through the doors emerged Halibel in a sleeveless white gown with lace on the torso and an elbow-length white veil, escorted by Keito Tier, who wore a gray suit and red tie. They both walked slowly and calmly down the short aisle that was formed between the round tables, and as per tradition, Halibel carried a bouquet of flowers in both hands.

From where he stood, Grimmjow could tell that Halibel was trying not too smile too broadly at this point, but he smiled wide, and she did, too. Grimmjow's mind was in an excited and nervous haze as the bride joined him under the wooden arch, both facing each other. Halibel handed her bouquet to Rukia, and the couple was ready.

The officiant cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today to witness the happy marriage of two young individuals, mister Grimmjow Jaegerjaques and miss Halibel Tier. At both the bride and groom's request, the ceremony is to be 'pretty short and really sweet', as the maid of honor, a certain Rukia Kuchiki, demand I describe it. Let it be known that she is the best maid of honor of all of Japan."

Everyone chuckled at that, and Grimmjow would bet every yen in his bank account that Rukia had bribed the officiant to say that.

"Now, we will have the exchange of vows," Mr. Katsumura said as Hanataro roved around the room, taking photos. "The bride will give hers first."

Keito handed his daughter a folded piece of paper, and Halibel unfolded it. "Grimmjow, my love, my everything, I don't have all the words, even in these vows, to fully explain why I have chosen to marry you, or how much I look forward to our life together." She took a deep breath and continued, "I sat down every night for the past two weeks to write down my thoughts, often with Nelliel's or Rukia's help. But my real plan is to show you every day, without fail, why I will love you as my husband. No matter where we go, what we do together, what new adventures we have, or any hardship we endure, you'll find a new reason every day why this is the best decision of my life."

Halibel waited a second before she continued. "But I can explain that I love you for your passion of your life, and the life we will now share. I love how you care for animals, and that you're studying so hard to become a veterinarian. I love how you always take everything in life with a smile and a laugh, and that you find the fun and cheer in everything. Even when you quote Captain Kirk, or take me on dates to the arcade, or tell me to watch you perform a new stunt on your old skateboard, I'm happy because you share all of that with me, and that you are true to yourself. With you, I feel loved, I feel safe, I feel hopeful, and I am absolutely confident that we can overcome anything. Together." She folded up her paper and handed it back to Keito.

No one clapped or made a sound out of respect for ceremony, but Grimmjow was sure that everyone was mentally clapping really hard! In fact, he was sure he heard one of the bridesmaids mutter "top that!" as the officiant said, "And now, the groom will share his vows."

"Yes, sir." Grimmjow got his own paper from his pocket and unfolded it. He cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. "What I will say today is similar to what I said at our rehearsal dinner, so even if it's familiar, that's because it's worth saying twice. In fact, a lot of the sentiments I say today are worth saying every day from here on out." He took a breath. "Halibel, I didn't know you when I first saw you on that sunny afternoon when you moved in next to the Kurosakis, but from that very moment on, I knew that you were someone special, someone I couldn't be without. It took some time for us to be official, but I couldn't have been happier getting to know you, and finding out that you're the best girl a man could possibly have the privilege to know, and to love."

By now, Grimmjow could hear some noses blowing in the audience. Well, that means the vows were good. Score! "With you, Halibel, I am a better man. With you, I learned to take control of my life and my future, and to become a man you can love and respect. With you, I learned to laugh and love, and to see the best in everything and in others. With you, I became someone you could marry, and I will continue to prove that for all of our time together. In short, you give me hope: in myself, in our relationship, and in whatever future we build together. For that, all I can do is give you my thanks every day from here on out, and never forget what a gift you have given me." He folded up his paper and pocketed it. "My vow is done."

He motioned to the audience, and this time, everyone clapped, and a few people whistled, too.

"I can't believe it," Bambietta said, also clapping. "Grimmjow _did_ top Halibel's vows!"

"No he didn't," Rukia shot back.

"I thought they were both fine," Orihime said. "Right?"

Bambietta and Rukia shared a look and nodded.

Now, Grimmjow took out the gold wedding band from his pocket and slid it onto Halibel's finger. "With this ring, I promise to be the best husband you could ask for, and a man who is worth your love."

Halibel smiled and returned the favor when she accepted a ring from Keito. "With this ring, I promise to be your faithful and loving wife, and to uphold our marriage to the best of my ability."

The officiant spoke up. "Do you, Halibel Tier, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," Halibel said in a clear and strong voice.

The officiant nodded. "Do you, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Grimmjow nodded once. "I do."

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife," the officiant said. "You may kiss the bride."

Everyone clapped and cheered even louder when Grimmjow leaned forward and kissed his new wife. It felt like... victory. Perfect!

Just for fun, Grimmjow and Halibel held hands, turned to face the audience, and bowed like stage actors after a play. "Thank you all for coming tonight!" Grimmjow cried. "It means everything to us."

"Please enjoy the banquet and reception," Halibel added. "And thank Byakuya and Hisana Kuchiki for cooking for us today. Lots of dancing, music, and fun are ahead of us!"

On cue, Aizen and Momo put on an upbeat but classy song to announce the dinner's start. Ballroom staff started serving everyone, and Halibel gave Grimmjow a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm so happy for us both, my dear new husband," she said fondly.

Grimmjow smiled widely. "Me too, dear wife."

"But there's one more thing I need." Halibel held up a finger.

"Wh-what is it?"

"Dinner! I'm famished." Halibel giggled. "I was so nervous today, I've hardly eaten a bite. Come on, let's get to our table."

Already, the Jaegerjaques and Tier families were already seated at the biggest and best-decorated table, waiting for the bride and groom to join them.

Grimmjow felt his stomach rumble. "My belly thinks that's a good idea. I can't argue with that guy, yknow."

Halibel smiled and, taking her husband's hand, led him to the table. "I bet you can't. Now, let's dig in. The Kuchikis really know their way around a kitchen..."


	26. Chapter 26

**Wedding Planners From Hell!**

by Ulquiorra9000

 **Chapter 26: Wrapping Things Up (not the wedding gifts. Other stuff!)**

Grimmjow and Halibel had barely dug into their dinner when Rukia joined them, the bridal bouquet in hand.

"When are you gonna throw this?" Rukia demanded. "Everyone's waiting! You know the custom."

Halibel blinked. "Oops! I got so caught up in the moment... well, I can't throw it _now_..."

"Sure you can!" Rukia smiled. "It'll take everyone by surprise. I wanna see what happens. Go for it!"

Halibel nodded and took the bouquet. "Here goes the flower grenade," she joked. She took a deep breath, then gave it a generous toss.

 _Whoa._ Grimmjow watched the bouquet arc through the air as though in slow motion. He could have _sworn_ he heard the soundtrack to _2001: A Space Odyssey_ playing, until Nelliel bolted from her chair and caught the bouquet like a pro. And her momentum carried her straight into Ginrei Kuchiki, and the both of them toppled to the floor in a heap.

Everyone either burst out laughing or rushed over to help them both up.

"Sorry, mister Kuchiki," Nelliel said, going red as she helped the old man up. "I didn't see you there."

Ginrei gave her a smile. "I'm sure your eyes were on that bouquet, right?"

Nelliel nodded. "That's right. And now I'll be the next one to marry!" She wiggled the bouquet for emphasis.

Halibel made a face. "Great. Now she won't stop talking about it! I'll never hear the end of it back at the apartment."

"At least your bridesmaid was happy," Miza Tier put in.

Near the end of the banquet, everyone was starting to get antsy for the really good stuff to start. Byakuya and Hisana had cooked up a fantastic dinner, but the real treat came when Kisuke pushed the rustic bronze trolley forward, with a charming three-tier cake on it.

"Who's ready for a little dessert?" Kisuke hollered, and everyone cheered. "Grimmjow, Halibel, get up here, if you will! You gotta serve the first pieces, if you know what I mean."

So, the newlyweds joined Kisuke and each cut a tiny piece for each other. "Here's yours, babe," Grimmjow said, and as per custom, fed his new wife.

"Mmmmmmm! Kisuke, this is wonderful," Halibel said after she swallowed her bite. "Thank you."

"The pleasure's all mine," Kisuke said with a theatrical bow. "Now, how about your husband's piece?"

"Here you are, love." Halibel returned the favor, and Grimmjow had to agree: this cake _was_ really good! He and his new wife cut pieces for everyone else and served them, and they even gave an extra-big piece to Nel.

"This is so thoughtful," Nel said happily when her huge piece was served. She dug her fork into it. "Thank you! I can't wait for seconds."

"You never stop, do you?" Tatsuki said, rolling her eyes.

"Mff-hmm grr-fthm," Nel said through a mouthful of cake.

And then, once everyone was stuffed with sugary cake, it was time to burn this calories... on the dance floor!

Chad, Ichigo, and Keigo scooted away all the dining tables to clear up space, and Aizen and Momo put on a classy waltz. That was the cue.

Grimmjow took his wife's hand. "This is us, honey."

Halibel smiled. "Lead the way."

They entered the dance floor together, and everyone waited a minute until the other couples joined them. Ichigo and Rukia twirled and waltzed nearby, with Uryu and Bambietta, Byakuya and Hisana, Keito and Miza, Takeshi and Keiko, and Candice and Shuhei filling up the dance floor. The single guests took turns swapping partners, with some combinations working better than others. Tatsuki, for example, experienced 1.2 seconds of dancing with Keigo before passing him on to Karin.

"This feels so right," Halibel said fondly, resting her head on Grimmjow's shoulder. "I could do this all night with you."

"Me too," Grimmjow said, holding his wife a little closer to him. "I still can't believe it... we totally pulled it off. Best wedding ever. Especially relative to its budget."

"It's worth a billion yen to me," Halibel said. "But you know... Rukia and Tatsuki _did_ figure out our total expenses, counting the ingredients that the Kuchikis bought for the dinner."

Grimmjow raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? What did they come up with?"

"Hmmmmm... counting our rings, my dress, your tux, the decorations, marriage license fee, renting this room, and some other stuff... the total was 3,263,904 yen," Halibel said. "I've heard of some weddings that easily go over twenty million, or thirty."

"I'll just say that yeah, this felt like it was worth a billion," Grimmjow agreed. He smiled. "And that's what's important, right?"

"I know. That, and figuring out our honeymoon, _if_ we choose to have it," Halibel told him.

Grimmjow nearly choked. "What the... no way! I totally forgot! I'm sorry! I..."

"Settle down, you big doofus," Halibel teased him as they kept rotating to the music. "Honestly, after all this work, just a night of take-out and movies in our pajamas sounds like a fine honeymoon to me."

Grimmjow thought it over. "I... think you have a point there," he said. "But come on... sooner or later, we ought to go on a trip together for real. I keep picturing it... there's all kinds of places in Japan we could see, or even a nearby country. Hey, maybe during my winter break from classes..."

Halibel smiled. "Are you taking me on an adventure?"

"I think I will." Grimmjow smiled. "I'm picturing all kinds of things... what if we went skiing in December? Or check out South Korea, after everything Candice told us about it? Or Okinawa..."

The Bambietta-Uryu dancing team happened by. "Oh! Oh! Do the skiing trip," Bambi urged them. "Think about it. You'd get all wet and cold from the snow, and that'll be like a huge aphrodisiac back in the skiing cabin!"

Uryu made a face. "Well, that got dirty pretty fast..."

"We could go with them," Bambi told him. "Our clothes would be soaking wet from all the snow, and we'd just _have to_ take them all off back in the cabin. I can see it now..."

Halibel giggled. "That's a 'maybe' on the ski trip plan."

"What about you guys?" Grimmjow asked them.

"What d'you mean?" Bambi asked quickly.

"Bambi, you always move fast and think ahead," Grimmjow told her. "And being here at my wedding... it's giving you all kinds of ideas, isn't it?"

"What's more important is that it's giving my partner here some ideas," Bambi said, looking Uryu straight in the eyes. "Right? _Riiiiight?"_

Uryu swallowed. "We could try some salsa dancing next."

"No, you silly dope!" Bambi gave him a knowing look. "We've been together for so long... aren't you excited to take the next step with me? What's in our future, my big darling Uryu?"

"I-I, uh..." Uryu went pink in the face. "I feel like you're putting me in the spotlight here."

"That's what Bambi does," Halibel said sympathetically.

"Well, I, uh..." Uryu glanced back and forth between all his friends. "Bambi, darling, I don't think this is the right time to say anything definite."

Bambietta definitely looked disappointed. "Oh..."

" _But_ ," Uryu added, "I will certainly think it over long and hard, and believe me, you mean everything to me. I'll figure something out."

Bambi beamed. "Great! I'll think about it, too. And in case things move _really_ fast, then right here, right now, I name Halibel as my maid of honor!"

At that moment, both Ichigo and Rukia happened by. "Did I miss anything good?" Rukia asked.

Bambi and Halibel shared a look. "N-nothing," Halibel said evasively. "Just small talk."

"Uh-huh," Rukia said skeptically. "I know that look, Halibel! Was something just agreed upon?"

 _Damn, she's sharp,_ Grimmjow thought.

"No," Bambi lied.

"I bet you're doing something behind my back," Rukia said with a sly grin. "Come on, what was it?"

"That, uh... we're all going skiing!" Bambi said nervously.

"We didn't agree to that," Uryu pointed out.

"Then what's going on?" Rukia insisted. "I'm the maid of honor! No one messes with me!"

"Nothing!" Bambi cried.

"Nothing, my foot!" Rukia shot back.

It was a long dance.

The rest of the evening seemed to go by in a blur to Grimmjow's eyes. One moment, there he was on the dance floor as Aizen played upbeat party music, and the next, he was doing the traditional mother/son dance as Halibel did the father/daughter dance, and at some point, all the couples were posing one by one by the wall, with Hanataro taking pro-quality photos of them all. He promised to not charge for any of the photos. What a bargain!

Keiko had some parting words when it was just after 10:30 PM. "Remember, she's half of your life now," she told her son. "Treat her well every day, no matter what. Every day is a gift with her."

Grimmjow nodded. "I know. Thanks, mom." Then he embraced her. "I'm gonna miss you. Where are you headed this time?"

"To Azerbaijan," Keiko said. "To do some humanitarian work in the countryside... I'll definitely write to you!"

"I can't wait."

Too soon, it seemed, the festivities were winding down, and the building's staff were starting to clean the place up as the guests were leaving.

"It was a wonderful wedding. Thank you for making us a part of it," Byakuya said politely, bowing his head. "Have a good night."

Hisana, meanwhile, burst into tears once again and threw her arms around the newlyweds. "I still can't believe you kids are married," she said thickly. "Time goes so fast..."

Isshin broke into tears too, and he was about to give them a "thematic gift" that Karin took and hid behind her back. "Totally not appropriate, dad," she said stubbornly.

Kisuke, meanwhile, offered to bake them another cake, Keigo wanted to play GameCube with Grimmjow, and Chad gave Grimmjow a handshake that was definitely too firm. Was that Chad's idea of showing emotion at the wedding?

Finally, the newlyweds got some peace and quiet when they fulfilled their honeymoon idea by getting takeout food and watching old TV show reruns in their sleepwear on the couch. Nelliel was spending the night at Rukia's place to give them some space.

Grimmjow nodded to himself. "Yeah."

"Hmmmm?" Halibel glanced at him.

Grimmjow draped a blanket over his and Halibel's laps. "We were right. This _is_ the best honeymoon for a night like this. All I need is you, babe. I love you."

"Mmm-hmmm." Halibel gently leaned on him as a commercial break started. "Same for me, my love. Totally the same."

 **THE END!**

*o*o*o*o*

 **A/N:** Thank you to everyone who read, favorited, followed, or reviewed this story! It was a lot of fun!


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